Children of War by Deborah Ellis

that is the best way
     to be. Being scared and crying would not have protected us. So we tried to laugh.
    HUTHAIFA – I really thought I would die,
     but I was ready for it. I felt like an angel, without sins. But later, the war got
     worse, and then I became afraid.
    After the war, the clashes between the militias started happening, and
     that affected our neighborhood.
    YEMAN – There was a car bombing at my
     school one day. I was walking along a corridor with glass all down the side of it. The
     bomb went off and the glass shattered all around me. I ran away as fast as I could. As
     the explosion happened, a song came into my mind, “I Disappear,” by
     Metallica. It goes
    Do you bury me when I’m gone?
Do you teach me while
     I’m here?
Just as soon as I belong,
Then it’s time I
     disappear.
    I think it’s on the soundtrack for
Mission Impossible II
,
     with the glass breaking. I felt like I was in a movie.
    HUTHAIFA – I had a lot
     of thoughts go through my head when we saw Saddam Hussein be executed. Saddam
     didn’t mean anything to us. He did a lot of bad things, but he also did good
     things. Iraq had a very good education system, free for everyone. Even university was
     free.
    When the Americans came and took Saddam from power, we thought that maybe
     it is the time for a new, bright Iraq. We were wrong. Many Iraqis would like to have the
     old days back, because at least then we could have our families together. So many
     families are separated and spread out far from each other.
    For nine to twelve months after Saddam fell, things were kind of getting
     better. There was killing, but not the same as now. We used to go out and feel safe to
     stay out until 10 p.m. Then it gradually got earlier and earlier when we felt we needed
     to be at home.
    When the bombing of the shrine in Samarra happened, I was in my last year
     of high school. It was the most important year in my life because the outcome of the
     examinations would decide what my future would be. A good average would mean a chance to
     go to a good university and study medicine or engineering. I had to study a lot. I also
     went to private lessons. These were held in different areas of Baghdad, so I had to
     travel around the city. The militias were everywhere in the street. You couldn’t
     predict what was going to happen. We would see a checkpoint and we wouldn’t know
     if it was the real army, or if it was the militia wearing army uniforms, wanting to rob
     us or kill us.
    YEMAN – There were
     many car bombings in our area. We got up every morning to learn that someone else was
     killed in a brutal way. My friends and I would talk about it. We decided the whole world
     had gone crazy.
    HUTHAIFA – I remember one of my
     father’s friends predicting this. It was about five days after the fall of Saddam.
     This friend had a generator, so we could watch TV. I went to his house. He is a doctor
     and lives in Baghdad with his son, my friend. He said to us, “Don’t be very
     much happy, because things will get worse. One day all of us will have to carry a weapon
     just to protect ourselves.”
    After the war, in October of 2003, our father got involved with LIFE, an
     American-based NGO. LIFE’s mission is to rebuild schools, get children school
     supplies and uniforms, books and bags. There had to be new textbooks, not the ones that
     were used under Saddam. They do other amazing things, like fixing up the water
     supply.
    Then his colleague at LIFE was abducted and killed. It was a terrible
     shock for everybody. This was a brilliant man, and a great friend to our father. They
     killed him the same day they abducted him. It was for sectarian reasons.
    Our father decided not to take any more chances with our lives. He sent us
     out of the country, and he joined us two months later. He stayed on his own in Baghdad
     to finish up some work.
    YEMAN – First me, my brother and