up and her heart to stop. Instead, the grief came in waves rolling over her body, crashing onto her, heavy and constricting. She was close to hyperventilating. Her loud gasps echoed throughout the quiet room. Hands shaking, she reached for the glass beside the bed.
She screamed and threw it against the wall, shattering it into pieces. Her face drenched in tears, her soul drained.
" Livy?" John tapped on the door before opening it. He saw the glass on the floor.
" You okay, honey?" He went to sit beside her on the bed. Her rosy cheeks were wet from tears. She looked lost, and he recognized the sorrow in her eyes. He dug into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, and wiped the tears from her face.
" Need to talk?"
H er sad eyes stared straight ahead.
He nudged her chin with his thumb in an effort to get her to look at him .
" Livy, what's wrong? Is it your leg? Does it hurt?"
She lifted her face to him and shook her head. "No," she whispered.
" Well, if not that, then what darlin'? What's got you breakin' dishes and your face all wet with tears?"
She shrugged .
" I'm here to listen."
Her eyes no longer revealed the sorrow he 'd seen earlier. "I guess I hate having to lie in bed all day."
He wasn 't buying it. "You can tell me the truth."
" It's nothing that can be fixed," she said.
" You don't know that. Why don't you tell me, and let me be the judge."
" I don't need a judge . " She glared at him. "I told you. It can't be fixed. Now leave me be."
But he was having none of it. "Livy, we'll be married soon. We need to trust each other."
She scoffed. "Why do you want to marry me?"
Caught off guard at her question, he stammered, "Well…I need a wife."
" No, you need a housekeeper, and a nanny. You do not need a wife, nor do you want one."
Who was she to tell him what he needed? "No, I need a wife."
" We don't have to marry. I can do all those things without being your wife." She went on as if she hadn't heard him.
" I said I need a wife damn it, and that's what you'll be. Now why don't you stop playin' games with me and tell me what the hell is goin' on," he yelled.
" You still love your wife," she yelled back. "Why do you want a new one?"
He sat back, letting her words sink in. Yes, he still loved Becky with all his heart. And it still hurt to think about her. But he 'd been lonesome and he missed the chats they used to have in bed at night. He missed her advice, the way she'd look at him, kiss him, and touch him.
He turned cold eyes toward her. He was angry at her for making him remember, for causing his heart to break a little more. "Yes, I still love my wife. I never offered you love, Livy. I can't, and I won't." His expression was hard, and his dark eyes stared right through her. "Is that what you thought would happen when you came here? Did you think I'd get on my knees and declare my love for you?" He stood by the door, putting an invisible barrier between them.
" No, I didn't expect anything like that."
" Sure." He could see the hurt in her eyes, and he didn't care. It was better for her to know not to have any expectations. "I'll always love her, Livy. I can't love anyone else." He opened the door, and without looking back, he left the room.
C HAPTER TWELVE
Three day's passed since Livy had seen John. Neither made any attempt to be around the other, which was easy since this was the first day she'd been able to leave her room for any length of time without her leg bothering her too much.
She sat on the rocking chair and watched Ben and Emily look for four-leaf clovers. Ben had been offish with her when she 'd first gotten here, but after her fall from the horse, he seemed to come around. She often spotted a concerned look on his face, and he'd apologized to her several times, telling her he was sorry that she fell from the horse. She explained that she was riding too fast and it was an accident, but her assurances did nothing to cease his apologies or ease his concern for her
She screamed and threw it against the wall, shattering it into pieces. Her face drenched in tears, her soul drained.
" Livy?" John tapped on the door before opening it. He saw the glass on the floor.
" You okay, honey?" He went to sit beside her on the bed. Her rosy cheeks were wet from tears. She looked lost, and he recognized the sorrow in her eyes. He dug into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, and wiped the tears from her face.
" Need to talk?"
H er sad eyes stared straight ahead.
He nudged her chin with his thumb in an effort to get her to look at him .
" Livy, what's wrong? Is it your leg? Does it hurt?"
She lifted her face to him and shook her head. "No," she whispered.
" Well, if not that, then what darlin'? What's got you breakin' dishes and your face all wet with tears?"
She shrugged .
" I'm here to listen."
Her eyes no longer revealed the sorrow he 'd seen earlier. "I guess I hate having to lie in bed all day."
He wasn 't buying it. "You can tell me the truth."
" It's nothing that can be fixed," she said.
" You don't know that. Why don't you tell me, and let me be the judge."
" I don't need a judge . " She glared at him. "I told you. It can't be fixed. Now leave me be."
But he was having none of it. "Livy, we'll be married soon. We need to trust each other."
She scoffed. "Why do you want to marry me?"
Caught off guard at her question, he stammered, "Well…I need a wife."
" No, you need a housekeeper, and a nanny. You do not need a wife, nor do you want one."
Who was she to tell him what he needed? "No, I need a wife."
" We don't have to marry. I can do all those things without being your wife." She went on as if she hadn't heard him.
" I said I need a wife damn it, and that's what you'll be. Now why don't you stop playin' games with me and tell me what the hell is goin' on," he yelled.
" You still love your wife," she yelled back. "Why do you want a new one?"
He sat back, letting her words sink in. Yes, he still loved Becky with all his heart. And it still hurt to think about her. But he 'd been lonesome and he missed the chats they used to have in bed at night. He missed her advice, the way she'd look at him, kiss him, and touch him.
He turned cold eyes toward her. He was angry at her for making him remember, for causing his heart to break a little more. "Yes, I still love my wife. I never offered you love, Livy. I can't, and I won't." His expression was hard, and his dark eyes stared right through her. "Is that what you thought would happen when you came here? Did you think I'd get on my knees and declare my love for you?" He stood by the door, putting an invisible barrier between them.
" No, I didn't expect anything like that."
" Sure." He could see the hurt in her eyes, and he didn't care. It was better for her to know not to have any expectations. "I'll always love her, Livy. I can't love anyone else." He opened the door, and without looking back, he left the room.
C HAPTER TWELVE
Three day's passed since Livy had seen John. Neither made any attempt to be around the other, which was easy since this was the first day she'd been able to leave her room for any length of time without her leg bothering her too much.
She sat on the rocking chair and watched Ben and Emily look for four-leaf clovers. Ben had been offish with her when she 'd first gotten here, but after her fall from the horse, he seemed to come around. She often spotted a concerned look on his face, and he'd apologized to her several times, telling her he was sorry that she fell from the horse. She explained that she was riding too fast and it was an accident, but her assurances did nothing to cease his apologies or ease his concern for her
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