dried fruit and I wonder what it must be like to have no Noise, to come from a place with no Noise. What does it mean? What kind of place is it? Is it wonderful? Is it terrible?
Say you were standing on a hilltop with someone who had no Noise. Would it be like you were alone there? How would you share it? Would you want to? I mean, here we are, the girl and I, heading outta danger and into the unknown and there’s no Noise overlapping us, nothing to tell us what the other’s thinking. Is that how it’s sposed to be?
I finish the fruit and crumple up the packet. She holds out her hand and shoves the rubbish back into her bag. No words, no exchange, just my Noise and a great big nothing from her.
Was this what it was like for my ma and pa when they first landed? Was New World a silent place all over before–
I look up at the girl suddenly.
Before.
Oh, no.
I’m such a fool.
I’m such a stupid goddam fool.
She has no Noise. And she came from a ship. Which means she came from a place with no Noise, obviously, idiot .
Which means she’s landed here and hasn’t caught the Noise germ yet.
Which means that when she does, it’s gonna do what it did to all the other women.
It’s gonna kill her.
It’s gonna kill her.
And I’m looking at her and the sun is shining down on us and her eyes are getting wider and wider as I’m thinking it and it’s then I realize something else stupid, something else obvious.
Just cuz I can’t hear any Noise from her don’t mean she can’t hear every word of mine.
“No!” I say quickly. “Don’t listen! I’m wrong! I’m wrong! It’s a mistake! I’m wrong!”
But she’s backing away from me, dropping her own empty packet of fruit things, her eyes getting wider.
“No, don’t–”
I step towards her but she takes an even quicker step away, her bag dropping to the ground.
“It’s–” I say but what do you say? “I’m wrong. I’m wrong . I was thinking of somebody else.”
Which is the stupidest thing to say of all cuz she can hear my Noise, can’t she? She can see me struggling to think of something to say and even if it’s coming out a big mess, she can see herself all over it and besides, I surely know by now there’s no taking back something that’s been sent out into the world.
Dammit. Goddam it all to hell.
“Dammit!” Manchee barks.
“Why didn’t you SAY you could hear me?” I shout, ignoring that she ain’t said a word since I met her.
She steps back farther, putting a hand up to her face to cover her mouth, her eyes sending asking marks at me.
I try to think of something, anything to make it all right, but I ain’t got nothing. Just Noise with death and despair all over it.
She turns and runs, back down the hill and away from me as fast as she can.
Crap.
“Wait!” I yell, already running after her.
She’s going back the way we came, down across the little field and disappearing into the trees, but I’m right behind her, Manchee after me. “Stop!” I shout after her. “Wait!”
But why should she? What kind of reason could she possibly have to wait around?
You know, she’s really amazingly fast when she wants to be.
“Manchee!” I call and he understands me and shoots off after her. Not that I could really lose her, any more than she could lose me. As loud as my Noise is chasing her, her silence is just as loud up ahead, even now, even knowing she’s going to die, still as silent as a grave.
“Hold on!” I shout, tripping over a root and landing hard on my elbows, which jolts every ache I’ve got in my body and face, but I have to get up. I have to get up and go after her. “Dammit!”
“Todd!” I hear Manchee bark up ahead, outta sight. I stumble on a bit and get my way round a big mass of shrubs and there she is, sitting on a big flat rock jutting outta the ground, her knees up to her chest, rocking back and forth, eyes wide but blank as ever.
“Todd!” Manchee barks again when he sees me, then he hops up
Say you were standing on a hilltop with someone who had no Noise. Would it be like you were alone there? How would you share it? Would you want to? I mean, here we are, the girl and I, heading outta danger and into the unknown and there’s no Noise overlapping us, nothing to tell us what the other’s thinking. Is that how it’s sposed to be?
I finish the fruit and crumple up the packet. She holds out her hand and shoves the rubbish back into her bag. No words, no exchange, just my Noise and a great big nothing from her.
Was this what it was like for my ma and pa when they first landed? Was New World a silent place all over before–
I look up at the girl suddenly.
Before.
Oh, no.
I’m such a fool.
I’m such a stupid goddam fool.
She has no Noise. And she came from a ship. Which means she came from a place with no Noise, obviously, idiot .
Which means she’s landed here and hasn’t caught the Noise germ yet.
Which means that when she does, it’s gonna do what it did to all the other women.
It’s gonna kill her.
It’s gonna kill her.
And I’m looking at her and the sun is shining down on us and her eyes are getting wider and wider as I’m thinking it and it’s then I realize something else stupid, something else obvious.
Just cuz I can’t hear any Noise from her don’t mean she can’t hear every word of mine.
“No!” I say quickly. “Don’t listen! I’m wrong! I’m wrong! It’s a mistake! I’m wrong!”
But she’s backing away from me, dropping her own empty packet of fruit things, her eyes getting wider.
“No, don’t–”
I step towards her but she takes an even quicker step away, her bag dropping to the ground.
“It’s–” I say but what do you say? “I’m wrong. I’m wrong . I was thinking of somebody else.”
Which is the stupidest thing to say of all cuz she can hear my Noise, can’t she? She can see me struggling to think of something to say and even if it’s coming out a big mess, she can see herself all over it and besides, I surely know by now there’s no taking back something that’s been sent out into the world.
Dammit. Goddam it all to hell.
“Dammit!” Manchee barks.
“Why didn’t you SAY you could hear me?” I shout, ignoring that she ain’t said a word since I met her.
She steps back farther, putting a hand up to her face to cover her mouth, her eyes sending asking marks at me.
I try to think of something, anything to make it all right, but I ain’t got nothing. Just Noise with death and despair all over it.
She turns and runs, back down the hill and away from me as fast as she can.
Crap.
“Wait!” I yell, already running after her.
She’s going back the way we came, down across the little field and disappearing into the trees, but I’m right behind her, Manchee after me. “Stop!” I shout after her. “Wait!”
But why should she? What kind of reason could she possibly have to wait around?
You know, she’s really amazingly fast when she wants to be.
“Manchee!” I call and he understands me and shoots off after her. Not that I could really lose her, any more than she could lose me. As loud as my Noise is chasing her, her silence is just as loud up ahead, even now, even knowing she’s going to die, still as silent as a grave.
“Hold on!” I shout, tripping over a root and landing hard on my elbows, which jolts every ache I’ve got in my body and face, but I have to get up. I have to get up and go after her. “Dammit!”
“Todd!” I hear Manchee bark up ahead, outta sight. I stumble on a bit and get my way round a big mass of shrubs and there she is, sitting on a big flat rock jutting outta the ground, her knees up to her chest, rocking back and forth, eyes wide but blank as ever.
“Todd!” Manchee barks again when he sees me, then he hops up
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