would be being able to cook there. But all my time goes into this land.”
“But you love cooking.”
“And I love my family.” Touché.
“But they love you too. They’d want you to be happy. You love horses and the ranch, I know, but it seems more like a hobby.”
“You don’t get it,” Chance snapped.
“I guess I don’t,” Bradley responded, primly. He didn’t know why he’d pushed. Way to nudge asshole.
“Sorry,” Chance said, deflated. Bradley didn’t want to say anything else. It looked like Chance was on the verge of speaking again and Bradley didn’t know what to say. They’d been having such a good time. He hadn’t meant to ruin it.
“Becket son after son has taken the reins of Red River since my great-grandfather bought the land right after he finished fighting in World War I. I didn’t meet the man but his legacy is the family pride,” Chance said. He’d jumped up and paced a couple times, not looking at Bradley.
“But it didn't take long for the idea of being stuck right here for the rest of my life to make my collar tighten to feel like a noose. I don't know what point it’d started but definitely over the last year or so. If I'm honest, it was probably about the time the legal papers had been drawn up naming me sole owner of the actual ranch and its lands when my parents pass on. My brother will just be a minority profit sharer. I first felt a moment of 'oh shit' when Daddy signed on the dotted lines. Hell, Caitlin was surprised when I didn’t invite her to the party celebrating the change and my brother’s first year of success at his own ranch. I told her it was a small party, but mostly it was because I didn’t much feel like celebrating. That's when the worst three words popped in my head for the first time in my life and took over every other waking thought.”
Bradley wanted to offer some comfort, but what could you say? You could tell someone over and over to take the reins back. But he grew up here, too. It just wasn’t done. He’d only severed the ties by coming out. And Chance was nowhere near ready to do that. Maybe in a couple years he’d be there, he was definitely chafing enough to do it. But by then his parents would see him married off with a kid on the way.
“What three words?”
Chance finally looked at him, his tone forlorn as he said,“Is this enough?”
Bradley shuddered. He ached for Chance but there were no words. Chance was trapped in an ages old dilemma and because he probably had less world experience than most, he’d have to figure it out for himself. Bradley had no advice because no way was his situation exemplary.
Not for the first time, Bradley had the strange feeling Caitlin may have figured out Chance’s reasons for being unhappy before Chance had, though. No one knows you’re gay so well as the person you’re having sex with. Or not having sex with, as it were.
He left those thoughts behind because he really couldn’t think about that. He felt lost. Couldn’t imagine how it was on Chance’s end. When he glanced back at Chance he noticed something there. A need to be comforted. It was a hunger of a different kind, the need to be held and told it was going to be okay.
But before Bradley could give into it, Chance’s phone rang. Which was definitely a good thing. He may not be able to abandon Chance right now but he’d definitely be wise to not touch Chance again. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if Chance regretted it. Plus, soon he’d be gone to bigger and better things because Chance was a prime example of what happened to you if you were gay in Hope Springs.
Resignation fell over Chance, from posture to expression, when he looked at the display of his phone. He held up a finger and walked off. Not before Bradley heard the “Hey, Caity. It’s been a while…”
And now Bradley’s mood was done in. The ride had been nice but it was time to get back home.
“But you love cooking.”
“And I love my family.” Touché.
“But they love you too. They’d want you to be happy. You love horses and the ranch, I know, but it seems more like a hobby.”
“You don’t get it,” Chance snapped.
“I guess I don’t,” Bradley responded, primly. He didn’t know why he’d pushed. Way to nudge asshole.
“Sorry,” Chance said, deflated. Bradley didn’t want to say anything else. It looked like Chance was on the verge of speaking again and Bradley didn’t know what to say. They’d been having such a good time. He hadn’t meant to ruin it.
“Becket son after son has taken the reins of Red River since my great-grandfather bought the land right after he finished fighting in World War I. I didn’t meet the man but his legacy is the family pride,” Chance said. He’d jumped up and paced a couple times, not looking at Bradley.
“But it didn't take long for the idea of being stuck right here for the rest of my life to make my collar tighten to feel like a noose. I don't know what point it’d started but definitely over the last year or so. If I'm honest, it was probably about the time the legal papers had been drawn up naming me sole owner of the actual ranch and its lands when my parents pass on. My brother will just be a minority profit sharer. I first felt a moment of 'oh shit' when Daddy signed on the dotted lines. Hell, Caitlin was surprised when I didn’t invite her to the party celebrating the change and my brother’s first year of success at his own ranch. I told her it was a small party, but mostly it was because I didn’t much feel like celebrating. That's when the worst three words popped in my head for the first time in my life and took over every other waking thought.”
Bradley wanted to offer some comfort, but what could you say? You could tell someone over and over to take the reins back. But he grew up here, too. It just wasn’t done. He’d only severed the ties by coming out. And Chance was nowhere near ready to do that. Maybe in a couple years he’d be there, he was definitely chafing enough to do it. But by then his parents would see him married off with a kid on the way.
“What three words?”
Chance finally looked at him, his tone forlorn as he said,“Is this enough?”
Bradley shuddered. He ached for Chance but there were no words. Chance was trapped in an ages old dilemma and because he probably had less world experience than most, he’d have to figure it out for himself. Bradley had no advice because no way was his situation exemplary.
Not for the first time, Bradley had the strange feeling Caitlin may have figured out Chance’s reasons for being unhappy before Chance had, though. No one knows you’re gay so well as the person you’re having sex with. Or not having sex with, as it were.
He left those thoughts behind because he really couldn’t think about that. He felt lost. Couldn’t imagine how it was on Chance’s end. When he glanced back at Chance he noticed something there. A need to be comforted. It was a hunger of a different kind, the need to be held and told it was going to be okay.
But before Bradley could give into it, Chance’s phone rang. Which was definitely a good thing. He may not be able to abandon Chance right now but he’d definitely be wise to not touch Chance again. He wouldn’t be able to bear it if Chance regretted it. Plus, soon he’d be gone to bigger and better things because Chance was a prime example of what happened to you if you were gay in Hope Springs.
Resignation fell over Chance, from posture to expression, when he looked at the display of his phone. He held up a finger and walked off. Not before Bradley heard the “Hey, Caity. It’s been a while…”
And now Bradley’s mood was done in. The ride had been nice but it was time to get back home.
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