as to what to say back, but since neither man could remove his gaze from the narcotics on the table, they were unable to see the fear spread across my face.
‘A bit early for me, hon, you crack on,’ I said, panicked but trying desperately hard to keep it all on the inside.
Like a child with Tourette’s, Michael had started to emit excitable squeaks as he rocked on the spot while the wonderful Austin rolled up a £20 note. This was a side to his personality that I hadn’t witnessed before, and while it was kinda rock ’n’ roll, it was also kind of a turn-off. My safe little bubble had been well and truly burst.
Two days ago this had been the site of passionate lovemaking. Today it morphed into an evil den of iniquity. Tempers were already frayed with my parents. Thank God they couldn’t see me now …
‘Cheers, man,’ said Michael as he grabbed Austin’s note and got his head down over a perfectly chiselled line. Trying not to wince with disgust, I lay coiled on the sofa as my new fiancé did his best Dyson impression and hoovered up, not one, not two but
three
sizeable lines of Colombia’s finest brain rot. Wow. He was a total pro.
Leaping in the air, Michael let out a primal lion’s roar, stretching his hands to the ceiling, shaking his shoulders out and throwing the rolled-up note at Austin, who happily grabbed it as if it was a baseball.
‘Good shit, man,’ praised my Herculean lover. Then he wandered out of the room, waving his hands around and performing a very bad rendition of the Fun Lovin’ Criminals number, ‘Barry White’.
Uncomfortable with the developing situation, I remained pinned to the couch, and as Michael marched about in the kitchen with his Colombian power powder racing around his system, I had a ringside seat for my second masterclass in how to shovel class As up your nose.
First, Austin checked which nostril was working better, by closing each one off individually with his thumbs. After deciding to run with his left nostril, he shoved the twenty up it and used his right index finger to cover the other side. With ease of movement he effortlessly devoured what was left on the table in two sweeping snorts.
Unfortunately for him he had to satisfy himself with
just
the two lines, instead of my fella’s suicidal greedy three.
Not wanting any of the precious sprinkle to go to waste, he wet his finger on his tongue, like they do in the movies, fingered up the remaining dust and rubbed it on his gums. Then to finish off his housekeeping he fiddled with the end of his nose to make sure there was no coke hanging off it.
Just like Michael, he made it look like an everyday occurrence. Obviously, it was. It was only coming up to three o’clock on a Thursday afternoon, but I suppose when you have a job like Michael’s that has you working odd hours, a weekday afternoon is just the same as another person’s Saturday night. Or so I reasoned.
As if he had just snorted a personality, Austin’s pout started to relax from a harsh scowl to a more pleasant half-smile.
‘So, you’re the latest?’ he asked, making me cough with a nervous laugh. ‘Y-yess, I suppose you could say I’m the latest.’ I was far from impressed.
Seizing my opportunity to gather a little background knowledge of Michael, I asked, ‘So how do you guys know each other?’ Unfortunately, his mobile rudely interrupted my interrogation with an irritating beeping and he headed off to the hall with a brief ‘Sorry.’
I remained stuck to the couch. There were now
two
relative strangers pacing the additional rooms, and I strained to think what Maddie would do. This sort of thing wouldn’t faze her in the slightest, I thought. I just needed to act cool. It’s not as if it was the first time I’d seen someone do coke in my presence. I’d seen plenty of people partake of illegal substances back in Dublin, but without Maddie, Parker, Lisa or even Anna by my side, I was feeling a smidgen vulnerable.
Snapping into
‘A bit early for me, hon, you crack on,’ I said, panicked but trying desperately hard to keep it all on the inside.
Like a child with Tourette’s, Michael had started to emit excitable squeaks as he rocked on the spot while the wonderful Austin rolled up a £20 note. This was a side to his personality that I hadn’t witnessed before, and while it was kinda rock ’n’ roll, it was also kind of a turn-off. My safe little bubble had been well and truly burst.
Two days ago this had been the site of passionate lovemaking. Today it morphed into an evil den of iniquity. Tempers were already frayed with my parents. Thank God they couldn’t see me now …
‘Cheers, man,’ said Michael as he grabbed Austin’s note and got his head down over a perfectly chiselled line. Trying not to wince with disgust, I lay coiled on the sofa as my new fiancé did his best Dyson impression and hoovered up, not one, not two but
three
sizeable lines of Colombia’s finest brain rot. Wow. He was a total pro.
Leaping in the air, Michael let out a primal lion’s roar, stretching his hands to the ceiling, shaking his shoulders out and throwing the rolled-up note at Austin, who happily grabbed it as if it was a baseball.
‘Good shit, man,’ praised my Herculean lover. Then he wandered out of the room, waving his hands around and performing a very bad rendition of the Fun Lovin’ Criminals number, ‘Barry White’.
Uncomfortable with the developing situation, I remained pinned to the couch, and as Michael marched about in the kitchen with his Colombian power powder racing around his system, I had a ringside seat for my second masterclass in how to shovel class As up your nose.
First, Austin checked which nostril was working better, by closing each one off individually with his thumbs. After deciding to run with his left nostril, he shoved the twenty up it and used his right index finger to cover the other side. With ease of movement he effortlessly devoured what was left on the table in two sweeping snorts.
Unfortunately for him he had to satisfy himself with
just
the two lines, instead of my fella’s suicidal greedy three.
Not wanting any of the precious sprinkle to go to waste, he wet his finger on his tongue, like they do in the movies, fingered up the remaining dust and rubbed it on his gums. Then to finish off his housekeeping he fiddled with the end of his nose to make sure there was no coke hanging off it.
Just like Michael, he made it look like an everyday occurrence. Obviously, it was. It was only coming up to three o’clock on a Thursday afternoon, but I suppose when you have a job like Michael’s that has you working odd hours, a weekday afternoon is just the same as another person’s Saturday night. Or so I reasoned.
As if he had just snorted a personality, Austin’s pout started to relax from a harsh scowl to a more pleasant half-smile.
‘So, you’re the latest?’ he asked, making me cough with a nervous laugh. ‘Y-yess, I suppose you could say I’m the latest.’ I was far from impressed.
Seizing my opportunity to gather a little background knowledge of Michael, I asked, ‘So how do you guys know each other?’ Unfortunately, his mobile rudely interrupted my interrogation with an irritating beeping and he headed off to the hall with a brief ‘Sorry.’
I remained stuck to the couch. There were now
two
relative strangers pacing the additional rooms, and I strained to think what Maddie would do. This sort of thing wouldn’t faze her in the slightest, I thought. I just needed to act cool. It’s not as if it was the first time I’d seen someone do coke in my presence. I’d seen plenty of people partake of illegal substances back in Dublin, but without Maddie, Parker, Lisa or even Anna by my side, I was feeling a smidgen vulnerable.
Snapping into
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