was no longer required. He kind of preferred that to the cold shoulder. Or ghosting. When a girl did that, just disappeared from his inbox, unfriending or no longer answering his texts, he hated that shit, too. Yet right now he’d have preferred to have at least the pretense that someday, maybe, Colleen would call him again. The thought of never seeing her again, never talking to her again, was just too fucking painful.
He’d called her, too stupid not to. She hadn’t answered. He’d left messages that she hadn’t returned. He’d sent texts, also ignored. She’d shut him out completely, and it was kind of killing him. At the same time, if that was what she wanted, his fucked up way of thinking meant that he had to give it to her. If she didn’t want to need him, then all he could do was let her go.
“Dad!”
He hadn’t been paying attention to Laila, but now turned his focus to the work sheet she was showing him. Jesse had never been good at reading or writing. Math had come easy to him. Math was numbers, which always added up the same way, unlike words, which could be spelled the same and mean different things¸ or the other way around. Laila was showing him a list of sentences she needed to do something with. What, he wasn’t sure.
“You have to pick out the subject and object,” his daughter said patiently, her pencil tapping.
“Your mom would be much better at this.” Jesse scratched his chin beneath the stubble of a beard he’d been letting go for the past couple days.
“Too bad she’s not here.” Ah. This kid. Totally his, not that he’d ever doubted it. From the moment of her birth when she’d opened those eyes and squalled, he’d known he’d had a part in making her.
Jesse leaned to lightly smack the back of her head. “Wiseass.”
“Look it up on the computer.” Laila grinned without shame, showing him a smile so much like Diane’s it gave his heart a little pang. She was going to be a heartbreaker in a year or so, and he wasn’t looking forward to that at all.
“You look it up.” Jesse pulled out his phone to check for messages he knew wouldn’t be there.
“Dad!”
“Sorry, kid. I’m useless with this stuff.” Jesse tucked away his phone and bent back to the work sheet. “Can you get a friend to help? Or wait for your mom?”
Laila shook her head. “It’s due tomorrow.”
And she was spending the night with him, since Diane had gone away on a business trip that Jesse suspected had more to do with the fact she’d replaced Edward with that guy from her office than an actual, necessary overnight stay. He didn’t begrudge her or anything like that. Laila spent more time with her mother, and Diane deserved a break to get her freak on, even if she was being hypocritical about it. But it was stuff like this homework assignment that made Jesse feel like a failure as a dad, and that was never cool.
“Okay. Let’s figure this out.”
Two hours later, they’d finished up the homework, made some popcorn and settled in front of the TV to catch up on streaming episodes of Perfect Strangers . Laila couldn’t get enough of crazy Balki and his belabored cousin Larry. And Jesse couldn’t get enough of this time with his kid, who was growing up too fast. That didn’t stop him from playing around on his phone, though, while they watched.
Colleen didn’t have a Connex account, or if she did, she had it locked down so private he couldn’t find it. She didn’t tweet or post to PicStream, and a search of her name brought up thousands of results. Switching his search to images only, Jesse told himself it wasn’t creepy or stalkery to be doing this, even as he made sure to keep his phone shielded from the too-curious eyes of his precocious kid.
Laila wasn’t fooled, though. “Who is she?”
Caught, Jesse swiped his phone’s screen to erase his business. “Who? Nobody. What?”
“You’re checking out a lady.” Laila scooped a handful of unpopped kernels and let them
He’d called her, too stupid not to. She hadn’t answered. He’d left messages that she hadn’t returned. He’d sent texts, also ignored. She’d shut him out completely, and it was kind of killing him. At the same time, if that was what she wanted, his fucked up way of thinking meant that he had to give it to her. If she didn’t want to need him, then all he could do was let her go.
“Dad!”
He hadn’t been paying attention to Laila, but now turned his focus to the work sheet she was showing him. Jesse had never been good at reading or writing. Math had come easy to him. Math was numbers, which always added up the same way, unlike words, which could be spelled the same and mean different things¸ or the other way around. Laila was showing him a list of sentences she needed to do something with. What, he wasn’t sure.
“You have to pick out the subject and object,” his daughter said patiently, her pencil tapping.
“Your mom would be much better at this.” Jesse scratched his chin beneath the stubble of a beard he’d been letting go for the past couple days.
“Too bad she’s not here.” Ah. This kid. Totally his, not that he’d ever doubted it. From the moment of her birth when she’d opened those eyes and squalled, he’d known he’d had a part in making her.
Jesse leaned to lightly smack the back of her head. “Wiseass.”
“Look it up on the computer.” Laila grinned without shame, showing him a smile so much like Diane’s it gave his heart a little pang. She was going to be a heartbreaker in a year or so, and he wasn’t looking forward to that at all.
“You look it up.” Jesse pulled out his phone to check for messages he knew wouldn’t be there.
“Dad!”
“Sorry, kid. I’m useless with this stuff.” Jesse tucked away his phone and bent back to the work sheet. “Can you get a friend to help? Or wait for your mom?”
Laila shook her head. “It’s due tomorrow.”
And she was spending the night with him, since Diane had gone away on a business trip that Jesse suspected had more to do with the fact she’d replaced Edward with that guy from her office than an actual, necessary overnight stay. He didn’t begrudge her or anything like that. Laila spent more time with her mother, and Diane deserved a break to get her freak on, even if she was being hypocritical about it. But it was stuff like this homework assignment that made Jesse feel like a failure as a dad, and that was never cool.
“Okay. Let’s figure this out.”
Two hours later, they’d finished up the homework, made some popcorn and settled in front of the TV to catch up on streaming episodes of Perfect Strangers . Laila couldn’t get enough of crazy Balki and his belabored cousin Larry. And Jesse couldn’t get enough of this time with his kid, who was growing up too fast. That didn’t stop him from playing around on his phone, though, while they watched.
Colleen didn’t have a Connex account, or if she did, she had it locked down so private he couldn’t find it. She didn’t tweet or post to PicStream, and a search of her name brought up thousands of results. Switching his search to images only, Jesse told himself it wasn’t creepy or stalkery to be doing this, even as he made sure to keep his phone shielded from the too-curious eyes of his precocious kid.
Laila wasn’t fooled, though. “Who is she?”
Caught, Jesse swiped his phone’s screen to erase his business. “Who? Nobody. What?”
“You’re checking out a lady.” Laila scooped a handful of unpopped kernels and let them
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