Call Me Cruel by Michael Duffy

being a normal father to her. I remember praying to God to take good care of her, wherever she might be, and to forgive me.’
    Carol was suffering depression. Leanne had to struggle to tell her young daughters why their aunty was no longer part of their lives. Michael had become unable to focus on his life and gave up his spot in a team in the Newcastle Premier League. Kylie’s disappearance was tearing apart the lives of those left behind.

Sean thought Kylie had done an excellent job arranging their wedding in February 2003: everyone said it was the most organised wedding they’d been to. She had also organised their work-related moves since they’d been living together, and he was impressed by this too, her ability to set herself up in a new area so easily. In retrospect, maybe it hinted at a certain lack of stability, an unusual capacity to detach herself from her surroundings and move on, but at the time he was just grateful.
    Not long after the wedding her Bell’s palsy recurred: Sean came home from work one day and saw one side of her face had dropped. They walked to a local doctor, who gave her some medication.
    Over the next month or so, Kylie grew moody. Sean asked her what was wrong and she told him there was nothing to be planned any more, nothing to be achieved. She started to look around for another goal, and they talked about having children. Sean wondered if it was too soon, but Kylie became very keen. Before they’d even agreed to try to have a baby, she’d bought a cot and fitted out an entire nursery in their Melbourne home, complete with clothes and powders and lotions. It was, Sean thought, an example of her love of organisation. It was also an example of how marriage had done little to reduce her inability to compromise. According to John, she was very disappointed when she didn’t fall pregnant during the following months.
    Sean became a little concerned about Kylie’s solitary nature. Being independent was one thing, but she took it too far. He knew it must be difficult when he was away at sea, and urged her to make some more friends, explaining how it was important to build up her own social life. She said she found this hard. One reason was that she was a strong-willed personality who wanted her own way, and she had little experience of the concessions and pleasantries needed to socialise successfully. When she encountered difficulty in relationships she often just walked away, rather than trying to work them out.
    This was certainly the case at work. She was on the books of a job agency but none of the positions she took lasted very long. After a while Sean saw a pattern: Kylie would always be hugely enthusiastic about a new position and the people there, and offer to do night shifts and other unpopular work, which would impress her workmates. But after a few weeks, something always went wrong. Usually it involved a clash with a supervisor, when Kylie would take some comment the wrong way—she was oversensitive to criticism—and speak her mind. Sometimes there would be conflict with other colleagues too. At around the one-month mark, the job would become intolerable and Kylie would move on. She failed to make any lasting friendships at work.
    Towards the end of the year, Sean was posted to HMAS Newcastle , and the couple moved back to Sydney. He was often away at sea, and he became more concerned at Kylie’s isolation. When they were together she was the dominant person, and yet she had almost no life outside their marriage, wanting to spend all her time with him. While he was away she seemed to do nothing at all, as though her life was on hold. Although she didn’t visit him at work as she had before, she still wanted to be with him as much as possible. When the ship sailed in to Garden Island, Sydney’s main naval base, Sean would see her sitting on the wharf, waiting for him. This was unusual: wives weren’t supposed to be on the base,