doesn’t matter. You’ll need me, Kirstie. And I want to be there for you.’
She rested her free hand on his forearm. ‘No. Not for a while. Please. Just let me get myself sorted out.’
Galen got up and wandered over to the window, hands in pockets. His shoulders slumped the way they always did when he was disappointed about something. Just like a little boy, Kirsten
thought.
‘If you say so,’ he said, with his back to her. ‘I suppose it’s the . . . er . . . the psychological effects that are worse than even the physical ones, is it? I mean, I
don’t know. I couldn’t know, could I, being a man? But I’ll do my best to understand.’ He turned around again and looked at her.
‘I know you will,’ Kirsten said. ‘I just think it’s best if we don’t see each other for a while. I’m all confused.’
She still wasn’t sure how much they had told him. He knew that she’d been attacked, that was clear enough, but had they been vague about the nature of the assault? Perhaps he assumed
that she’d been raped. Had she been? Kirsten wasn’t too sure about that, herself. As far as the doctor had been able to make out, there had been no traces of semen in the vagina. It had
been such a mess, however, that she didn’t see how he could possibly be so certain. Did penetration by a short, sharply pointed metal object count as rape? she wondered. In the end, she just
had to settle for the general opinion that people who do what this man did to her are usually incapable of real sexual intercourse.
‘What about Toronto?’ Galen asked, returning to the chair and hunching over her.
‘I don’t know. I just can’t see myself going, not the way things are now. Not this year, at least.’
‘But it’s still a month or so off. You’ll probably feel better by then.’
‘Maybe. Anyway, you go ahead. Don’t worry about me.’
‘I wouldn’t go without you.’
‘Galen, don’t be so stubborn. There’s no point sacrificing your career because of me. I can’t promise you anything right now. I can’t even—’ And she
almost told him then, but pulled herself back just in time. ‘I just don’t know how things are going to go.’ She started crying. ‘Can’t you understand?’
The effort of letting him down gently and hiding her feelings and her disability from him at the same time was proving too much. She wished he would just leave. When he bent down to comfort her,
she felt herself freeze. The reaction surprised her; it was something she’d never done before. And it came from deep inside; it was completely involuntary, like a twitch or a reflex action.
Galen felt it, too, and he backed off, looking wounded.
‘I understand,’ he said stiffly. ‘At least, I’ll try.’ He patted her hand. ‘Let’s just leave it be for now, okay? Plenty of time to think about our
future later on, when you’re fully recovered.’
Kirsten nodded and wiped the tears away with the backs of her hands. Galen passed her a Kleenex.
‘Is there anything you want,’ he asked, ‘anything at all I can bring you?’
‘No, not really.’
A book?’
‘I’ve not felt much like reading. I can’t seem to concentrate. But thank you very much. You’d better go, Galen, go back home and take care of your mother. I’m glad
you came. I know I don’t seem it, but honestly I am.’
He looked disappointed, as if he had been summarily dismissed. Kirsten knew she hadn’t managed to sound very convincing. Her breasts ached and she felt close to tears again. He took hold
of her hand, with that little-boy-lost expression on his face, and didn’t seem to want to let go.
‘I’ll come again,’ he said. ‘I promise. I’ll be up here for a couple of days sorting things out, anyway.’
All right. But I’m tired now.’
He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. She caught the toothpaste smell on his breath. He must have brushed his teeth on the train, she thought, or as soon as he got to the
She rested her free hand on his forearm. ‘No. Not for a while. Please. Just let me get myself sorted out.’
Galen got up and wandered over to the window, hands in pockets. His shoulders slumped the way they always did when he was disappointed about something. Just like a little boy, Kirsten
thought.
‘If you say so,’ he said, with his back to her. ‘I suppose it’s the . . . er . . . the psychological effects that are worse than even the physical ones, is it? I mean, I
don’t know. I couldn’t know, could I, being a man? But I’ll do my best to understand.’ He turned around again and looked at her.
‘I know you will,’ Kirsten said. ‘I just think it’s best if we don’t see each other for a while. I’m all confused.’
She still wasn’t sure how much they had told him. He knew that she’d been attacked, that was clear enough, but had they been vague about the nature of the assault? Perhaps he assumed
that she’d been raped. Had she been? Kirsten wasn’t too sure about that, herself. As far as the doctor had been able to make out, there had been no traces of semen in the vagina. It had
been such a mess, however, that she didn’t see how he could possibly be so certain. Did penetration by a short, sharply pointed metal object count as rape? she wondered. In the end, she just
had to settle for the general opinion that people who do what this man did to her are usually incapable of real sexual intercourse.
‘What about Toronto?’ Galen asked, returning to the chair and hunching over her.
‘I don’t know. I just can’t see myself going, not the way things are now. Not this year, at least.’
‘But it’s still a month or so off. You’ll probably feel better by then.’
‘Maybe. Anyway, you go ahead. Don’t worry about me.’
‘I wouldn’t go without you.’
‘Galen, don’t be so stubborn. There’s no point sacrificing your career because of me. I can’t promise you anything right now. I can’t even—’ And she
almost told him then, but pulled herself back just in time. ‘I just don’t know how things are going to go.’ She started crying. ‘Can’t you understand?’
The effort of letting him down gently and hiding her feelings and her disability from him at the same time was proving too much. She wished he would just leave. When he bent down to comfort her,
she felt herself freeze. The reaction surprised her; it was something she’d never done before. And it came from deep inside; it was completely involuntary, like a twitch or a reflex action.
Galen felt it, too, and he backed off, looking wounded.
‘I understand,’ he said stiffly. ‘At least, I’ll try.’ He patted her hand. ‘Let’s just leave it be for now, okay? Plenty of time to think about our
future later on, when you’re fully recovered.’
Kirsten nodded and wiped the tears away with the backs of her hands. Galen passed her a Kleenex.
‘Is there anything you want,’ he asked, ‘anything at all I can bring you?’
‘No, not really.’
A book?’
‘I’ve not felt much like reading. I can’t seem to concentrate. But thank you very much. You’d better go, Galen, go back home and take care of your mother. I’m glad
you came. I know I don’t seem it, but honestly I am.’
He looked disappointed, as if he had been summarily dismissed. Kirsten knew she hadn’t managed to sound very convincing. Her breasts ached and she felt close to tears again. He took hold
of her hand, with that little-boy-lost expression on his face, and didn’t seem to want to let go.
‘I’ll come again,’ he said. ‘I promise. I’ll be up here for a couple of days sorting things out, anyway.’
All right. But I’m tired now.’
He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. She caught the toothpaste smell on his breath. He must have brushed his teeth on the train, she thought, or as soon as he got to the
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