was.
“Hmm… I suppose I knew I was different somehow in my teens. My family is kind of open-minded, so I never had a moment of ‘Oh my God, I can’t like boys. What will my parents say?’ Maybe because of that I didn’t actually think about it. I tried to live like my older brother does, the super-straight lifestyle of picking up girls and all that,” Thom said thoughtfully.
Skye looked at him now, looking surprised for a moment before averting his eyes again.
“Yeah, I know. Anyway, I was maybe twenty-five when a female friend took me to a gay bar for fun. It was a revelation, really. There were suddenly guys hitting on me, and I must have looked out of place somehow, because later in the evening, this slightly feminine guy came to our table, sat next to me, and began to talk to me. His name was Oscar, and he told me I looked like a deer in the headlights and that I should lighten up.” Thom chuckled at the memory.
“My friend was dancing with some guy at that point, and Oscar sat there with me and scared away the pushiest guys who tried to approach me. Chatting with him in that bar was something that changed how I thought about myself. I realized I was looking at the guys and the girls equally, for one. And then I realized that what drew my eye was the boys grinding against each other on the dance floor.
“So after that night, I began to think about stuff, and then one day I called Oscar, who had given me his number, and we became friends. He helped me to figure out some things. For one, I wasn’t really that into women to begin with. It was just that I went with the norm, and I could date them, but I rarely had sex with them,” Thom said and watched Skye flinch a little.
“Then, a few months after the first night, Oscar took me to this gay club and encouraged me to go dancing with a guy, and I did. I suppose it all evolved slowly—the next time I kissed someone, then there was touching, and so on. When I had my first sexual encounter with a man, I just knew.” Thom shrugged and ignored the way Skye seemed uncomfortable at the mention of sex.
“I still tried to downplay it. I went on dates with some girls too and so on, but then, three years ago, I met Dru. That was it. I knew he was the one for me, and I didn’t need or want anyone else.”
Skye was quiet and looked thoughtful.
“I know Dru can be a bit high maintenance sometimes, but it just makes him who he is. We’re sort of perfect for each other, as sappy as it sounds,” Thom added, smiling, and let his gaze sweep the backyard.
“I’ve never… been attracted to anyone. Never… you know…,” Skye said so quietly Thom could barely hear, and when he looked at the shy man before him, he saw that Skye was blushing.
“You’ve never been with anyone?” Thom asked.
“Not even… turned on,” Skye said even more quietly, and Thom tried to muffle his gasp.
“You… you mean you haven’t ever gotten hard from looking at someone or thinking about someone?” he clarified.
Skye’s eyes flicked to his, and there was some emotion there Thom couldn’t quite catch. Then Skye nodded.
“Not even in your teens… like… before?” Thom asked carefully. He didn’t want to push on the bad memories that still haunted Skye.
“No… well… wet dreams and stuff, yeah. But I can’t remember them being about anyone particular. And now, after… everything… it’s… I don’t know.” Skye became more animated for a while, pushing his fingers through his brown curls in an almost agitated manner.
“You’re thinking about what you are? That… how should I put this… the man who hurt you made you into something or took something from you?” Thom asked, and Skye’s eyes snapped to his.
“Yes.” There was something like relief in Skye’s eyes. It seemed like the younger man had thought about this and wasn’t sure if his thoughts were valid or something like
“Hmm… I suppose I knew I was different somehow in my teens. My family is kind of open-minded, so I never had a moment of ‘Oh my God, I can’t like boys. What will my parents say?’ Maybe because of that I didn’t actually think about it. I tried to live like my older brother does, the super-straight lifestyle of picking up girls and all that,” Thom said thoughtfully.
Skye looked at him now, looking surprised for a moment before averting his eyes again.
“Yeah, I know. Anyway, I was maybe twenty-five when a female friend took me to a gay bar for fun. It was a revelation, really. There were suddenly guys hitting on me, and I must have looked out of place somehow, because later in the evening, this slightly feminine guy came to our table, sat next to me, and began to talk to me. His name was Oscar, and he told me I looked like a deer in the headlights and that I should lighten up.” Thom chuckled at the memory.
“My friend was dancing with some guy at that point, and Oscar sat there with me and scared away the pushiest guys who tried to approach me. Chatting with him in that bar was something that changed how I thought about myself. I realized I was looking at the guys and the girls equally, for one. And then I realized that what drew my eye was the boys grinding against each other on the dance floor.
“So after that night, I began to think about stuff, and then one day I called Oscar, who had given me his number, and we became friends. He helped me to figure out some things. For one, I wasn’t really that into women to begin with. It was just that I went with the norm, and I could date them, but I rarely had sex with them,” Thom said and watched Skye flinch a little.
“Then, a few months after the first night, Oscar took me to this gay club and encouraged me to go dancing with a guy, and I did. I suppose it all evolved slowly—the next time I kissed someone, then there was touching, and so on. When I had my first sexual encounter with a man, I just knew.” Thom shrugged and ignored the way Skye seemed uncomfortable at the mention of sex.
“I still tried to downplay it. I went on dates with some girls too and so on, but then, three years ago, I met Dru. That was it. I knew he was the one for me, and I didn’t need or want anyone else.”
Skye was quiet and looked thoughtful.
“I know Dru can be a bit high maintenance sometimes, but it just makes him who he is. We’re sort of perfect for each other, as sappy as it sounds,” Thom added, smiling, and let his gaze sweep the backyard.
“I’ve never… been attracted to anyone. Never… you know…,” Skye said so quietly Thom could barely hear, and when he looked at the shy man before him, he saw that Skye was blushing.
“You’ve never been with anyone?” Thom asked.
“Not even… turned on,” Skye said even more quietly, and Thom tried to muffle his gasp.
“You… you mean you haven’t ever gotten hard from looking at someone or thinking about someone?” he clarified.
Skye’s eyes flicked to his, and there was some emotion there Thom couldn’t quite catch. Then Skye nodded.
“Not even in your teens… like… before?” Thom asked carefully. He didn’t want to push on the bad memories that still haunted Skye.
“No… well… wet dreams and stuff, yeah. But I can’t remember them being about anyone particular. And now, after… everything… it’s… I don’t know.” Skye became more animated for a while, pushing his fingers through his brown curls in an almost agitated manner.
“You’re thinking about what you are? That… how should I put this… the man who hurt you made you into something or took something from you?” Thom asked, and Skye’s eyes snapped to his.
“Yes.” There was something like relief in Skye’s eyes. It seemed like the younger man had thought about this and wasn’t sure if his thoughts were valid or something like
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