Burned by Ellen Hopkins Page B
Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: Religión, Fiction, General, Mystery & Detective, Family, Juvenile Fiction, Sex, Psychology, Social Issues, Religious, Christian, Christianity, Parents, Values & Virtues, Teenage girls, Psychopathology, Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, Aunts, Problem families, Dysfunctional families, Identity, Alcoholism, Drugs; Alcohol; Substance Abuse, Addiction, Nevada, Physical & Emotional Abuse, Novels in Verse, Family Problems, Identity (Psychology), Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon), Mormons
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how beautiful you are?
I shook my head. "I'm not. But you make
me feel like I am." I wanted to be beautiful.
To him. For him. I didn't really care how
anybody eise saw me. Only Ethan.
He reached across me, opened the glove
compartment, extracted a little box wrapped in gold foil. He cradled it in his perfect
hand, offered it to me like a toddler might.
Inside was an oval locket, etched
gold on a Serpentine chain, and inside that was a photo of Ethan.
So you II always carry me with you.
I fingered the intricate carvings, the interlocking links of chain.
And then I Turned it over. Engraved on the back were three magic words.
312
Ethan pulled me close, repeated
those words. I love you, Pattyn.
He kissed me, delicious as honey.
His kiss held love. His eyes held love.
Goose bumps erupted all over my body. I was thrilled. Terrified.
But I couldn't deny how I felt about him. "I love you, too, Ethan."
313
We Went to a Movie
Probably only the third in my life, and my first ever with a guy.
I should remember everything about it. But I don't.
I don't remember the names of the actors, and all I can recall about the plot is that everyone
thought the main character was someone he wasn't.
(Aren't we all someone we're not?)
I do remember the smell of popcorn as we walked through the door, and whiny children, pleading for candy and soda pop.
314
I remember how people seemed to smile at us, a young couple, hand in hand. I wondered
if they smiled because they knew we were in love.
Or maybe they smiled at what they imagined
we did in the dark.
Doing stuff in the dark of the movie theater is what I remember best.
315
Also Remember the Drive Home
tucked close beside Ethan, his picture tucked close to my heart, where I would
carry him always
He drove slowly, and we
talked and talked about our lives
BE (before each other), and what might become of our lives now that they intertwined.
How would we keep our love
alive, with him at college and me at school, daily existence at odds.
Where would I go to school?
No one had mentioned
if or when my extended
vacation might end.
If I stayed with
Aunt J, my school would
be seven hundred miles from Ethan's.
316
If I went home, our schools
would be less than two
hundred miles apart.
Not an insurmountable
distance. Unless you
figured in my dad.
Of course, there were ways around my dad.
Weren't there?
317
Even If There Were
Ways around my dad, did I want to have to find them?
Did I want to go home?
Living with Aunt J had opened
my eyes. To harsh realities.
Harsh realities smoldering at home.
To the true meanings of love.
Love, like between Aunt J and me.
Love I wouldn't find at home.
Love, like I had discovered in Ethan's arms.
Love that home might destroy.
But if I stayed with Aunt J,
Ethan seven hundred miles away, what would become of our love?
318
Three Magic Words
Had changed my existence yet again, words I'd feared and now embraced.
I love you played over and over in my brain, music without melody.
I sat very close, almost in his lap, head against his Shoulder, breathing
him in, hand on his thigh.
He was warm, and my warmth.
Streng, and my strength.
Ethan was no summer
Hing. Suddenly, certainly, he was everything.
How could I
ever live without him?
319
We Agreed Not to Worry
About it the rest of the weekend, five whole days to spend together, culminating with the July Fourth
BBQ and fireworks extravaganza.
I would meet Ethan 's dad that evening.
Meanwhile, I wanted one thing--
okay, I wanted several, but I had
one particular goal in mind, which I brought up on Saturday.
"Ethan, will you teach me to ride?"
And not Old Poncho. "Paprika."
Ethan was patient. Not so Paprika.
She took one look at the total "greenhorn," and decided to teach me the finer
points of equine bitchery.
She snorted. Kicked. Rooted
herseif and refused to move.
When I finally convinCed her otherwise, she lowered her head and bucked.
Then she
I shook my head. "I'm not. But you make
me feel like I am." I wanted to be beautiful.
To him. For him. I didn't really care how
anybody eise saw me. Only Ethan.
He reached across me, opened the glove
compartment, extracted a little box wrapped in gold foil. He cradled it in his perfect
hand, offered it to me like a toddler might.
Inside was an oval locket, etched
gold on a Serpentine chain, and inside that was a photo of Ethan.
So you II always carry me with you.
I fingered the intricate carvings, the interlocking links of chain.
And then I Turned it over. Engraved on the back were three magic words.
312
Ethan pulled me close, repeated
those words. I love you, Pattyn.
He kissed me, delicious as honey.
His kiss held love. His eyes held love.
Goose bumps erupted all over my body. I was thrilled. Terrified.
But I couldn't deny how I felt about him. "I love you, too, Ethan."
313
We Went to a Movie
Probably only the third in my life, and my first ever with a guy.
I should remember everything about it. But I don't.
I don't remember the names of the actors, and all I can recall about the plot is that everyone
thought the main character was someone he wasn't.
(Aren't we all someone we're not?)
I do remember the smell of popcorn as we walked through the door, and whiny children, pleading for candy and soda pop.
314
I remember how people seemed to smile at us, a young couple, hand in hand. I wondered
if they smiled because they knew we were in love.
Or maybe they smiled at what they imagined
we did in the dark.
Doing stuff in the dark of the movie theater is what I remember best.
315
Also Remember the Drive Home
tucked close beside Ethan, his picture tucked close to my heart, where I would
carry him always
He drove slowly, and we
talked and talked about our lives
BE (before each other), and what might become of our lives now that they intertwined.
How would we keep our love
alive, with him at college and me at school, daily existence at odds.
Where would I go to school?
No one had mentioned
if or when my extended
vacation might end.
If I stayed with
Aunt J, my school would
be seven hundred miles from Ethan's.
316
If I went home, our schools
would be less than two
hundred miles apart.
Not an insurmountable
distance. Unless you
figured in my dad.
Of course, there were ways around my dad.
Weren't there?
317
Even If There Were
Ways around my dad, did I want to have to find them?
Did I want to go home?
Living with Aunt J had opened
my eyes. To harsh realities.
Harsh realities smoldering at home.
To the true meanings of love.
Love, like between Aunt J and me.
Love I wouldn't find at home.
Love, like I had discovered in Ethan's arms.
Love that home might destroy.
But if I stayed with Aunt J,
Ethan seven hundred miles away, what would become of our love?
318
Three Magic Words
Had changed my existence yet again, words I'd feared and now embraced.
I love you played over and over in my brain, music without melody.
I sat very close, almost in his lap, head against his Shoulder, breathing
him in, hand on his thigh.
He was warm, and my warmth.
Streng, and my strength.
Ethan was no summer
Hing. Suddenly, certainly, he was everything.
How could I
ever live without him?
319
We Agreed Not to Worry
About it the rest of the weekend, five whole days to spend together, culminating with the July Fourth
BBQ and fireworks extravaganza.
I would meet Ethan 's dad that evening.
Meanwhile, I wanted one thing--
okay, I wanted several, but I had
one particular goal in mind, which I brought up on Saturday.
"Ethan, will you teach me to ride?"
And not Old Poncho. "Paprika."
Ethan was patient. Not so Paprika.
She took one look at the total "greenhorn," and decided to teach me the finer
points of equine bitchery.
She snorted. Kicked. Rooted
herseif and refused to move.
When I finally convinCed her otherwise, she lowered her head and bucked.
Then she
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