Bumageddon: The Final Pongflict by Andy Griffiths Page A

White Bum. Furthermore, it almost exactly corresponds with coordinates of where the arseteroid that wiped out life on Earth hit. Given that all but one of the Great White Bumosaurs was destroyed in that impact it strongly suggests this is the spot.’
    â€˜All right then,’ said Zack. ‘What are we waiting for?’
    Eleanor shrugged.
    Ned nodded. ‘Proceed to the Crack of Doom, Robobum,’ he said.
    â€˜Affirmative!’ said Robobum, roaring into action. ‘Prepare for lift-off.’
    Zack grabbed a handrail as Robobum rose into the air. But as fast as she had risen, Robobum returned to the ground.
    â€˜What’s the matter, Robobum?’ said Ned.
    â€˜Sorry,’ said Robobum. ‘I seem to be experiencing some difficulty. Prepare for relaunch.’
    Robobum rose into the air again, higher this time, but only for a few seconds before crashing to the ground once more.
    â€˜Lift-off status report!’ said Ned.
    â€˜My undercarriage appears to be stuck,’ said Robobum.
    â€˜Full thrust!’ said Ned. ‘Give it everything you’ve got.’
    â€˜Affirmative!’ said Robobum, drawing on every bit of her nuclear stinkant-juice powered twin-injected nitro-assisted engine’s power.
    Zack and Eleanor both put their fingers in their ears to block out the deafening roar.
    But still Robobum remained earth-bound.
    â€˜Negative,’ said Robobum. ‘Robobum is immobilised. Recommend extra-vehicular excursion to establish and remove cause.’
    â€˜I’ll go,’ volunteered Zack.
    â€˜Good on you, Zack,’ said his bum, jumping up and slapping him on the back. ‘I knew we could count on you.’
    â€˜You’re coming with me, you know,’ said Zack. ‘I’m not going out there without backup. It’s dangerous.’
    â€˜That’s exactly why I’d prefer to remain here,’ saidhis bum. ‘Why don’t you take Eleanor? She’ll be more use to you.’
    â€˜Don’t push your luck,’ said Eleanor with quiet menace.
    Zack’s bum saw the look in her eyes. ‘When do we leave?’ it said.
    â€˜Right now,’ said Zack.
    * Bum positioning system. See glossary.

CHAPTER 48
VINES
    â€˜W ow!’ said Zack as he and his bum materialised onto the ground in front of Robobum. ‘Would you look at that!’
    Robobum was perched on the edge of a deep canyon.
    â€˜That’s some crack,’ said his bum admiringly.
    â€˜It’s so deep!’ said Zack, trying to see the bottom.
    â€˜It’s so wide!’ said his bum.
    Zack stared down into it for so long that he began to feel light-headed. He had to force himself to stop looking and concentrate on the job at hand.
    It wasn’t too hard to see why Robobum was unable to lift off.
    She was caught in a messy tangle of pale grey vines. The vines were attached to a clump of trees and rocks and stretched right across the canyon like agiant spider web, except that the strands were as thick as rope.
    â€˜This stuff is everywhere,’ said Zack’s bum. ‘What do you think it is?’
    â€˜Looks like some sort of vine or creeper,’ said Zack, taking a piece in his hand. ‘Pretty strong. And sticky, too. No wonder Robobum couldn’t break free.’
    Zack took his Bum-fighters’ Army pocket knife out of his utility belt and began cutting.
    It was hard work.
    The vines were tough. They were made up of millions of strands wound tightly around each other to form a powerful bond.
    As Zack cut slowly through the first vine—practically strand by strand—he was grateful for the stinkant juice, which had left a greasy coating on his hands. It allowed him to handle the vines without getting stuck to them.
    He was halfway through cutting a second vine when he heard a voice.
    It was a long way away, but definitely a voice.
    â€˜Can you hear that?’ said Zack.
    â€˜Yes,’ said his bum.