tell him his sunglasses suck. He’ll keel over and die.”
The guy sniggers. “I’m Kyle Morris. Nice to meet you.”
“Isis,” I say automatically. “Destroyer of Hearts and Dreams. And Any Cakes In A Two-Mile Vicinity.”
“Ravenclaw,” he offers his hand to shake. I grab it with my greasy one.
“Hufflepuff,” I say. He quirks a brow.
“Really? You don’t seem all that nice.”
“Oh,” I point what’s left of my hot dog bun at him. “Just wait until you see my friends. I practically run a charity show.”
“The guy you came in with?” He nods to Jack, who’s currently being exceedingly merciful and letting black bikini girl cling to his arm and jabber at him, and she has a pierced belly button and probably a pierced vagina and her name is Hemorrhoid, by the way. The girls in the hot tub Kyle came from are slowly starting to notice just how good looking Jack is, and they get out in a group, strutting past Jack and diving into the nearby pool with aching sexiness. The boys follow like hungry hounds.
“Yeah, the goober being goobed on,” I say. “He’s my friend.”
“Just a friend?”
“Is that like, some subtle cue slash question I’m supposed to confirm so you know whether or not you’ve got a chance to sleep with me? Because if so it’s very not-subtle and lacking finesse, really, next time maybe try a neon sign taped to your forehead that says LOSER LOOKING TO GET LAID. With the numeral two replacing to, obviously, to save time, because that seems to be all guys really care about – getting laid as fast as possible.”
Kyle takes it in stride, looking mock-wounded. “Hey, at least I’m being honest.”
I roll my eyes and wander over to the pool, trying my darndest and failing my darndest to not glance at the way black-bikini is grinding her hip into Jack’s as she leans on him. Charlie’s off in the deep end of the pool with a bunch of girls, even his grin somehow grumpy as they splash him. Last time I checked, spying involved a lot more grappling guns and poison dart pens and a lot less giggling. I stand at the edge of the pool and watch the moon reflecting on the water in a wiggly silver medallion. Kyle stands beside me.
“So, what’s your major?”
“I’m a freshmen. Undecided. Nuclear Thermophysics. Culinary Arts. Depends on how I feel when I wake up that day.” I hold two hands out and balance them like scales. “Destroy the world, or make a cake to celebrate destroying the world. The choice is so gosh darn difficult.”
Kyle laughs. “God, you’re cool.”
“It’s been said,” I agree. “Screamed, really. By my enemies. Just before I decapitate them.”
Suddenly there’s a sharp pressure on my ass, a squeeze. I jump, my squeal entirely ugly and entirely necessary as I look to Kyle, horrified. My first grope ever. He smirks and shrugs. I ball my fist into two bigger fists, but I never get the chance to throw them. Kyle goes flying, splashing into the pool with an embarrassing flailing motion. Jack stands at the place he used to be, expression cool.
“Oops,” He drones. Hemorrhoid laughs, and the other girls starts laughing, and so when Kyle comes up sputtering he has no choice but to laugh nervously with the rest of them.
“Haha, nice one bro!”
Jack quirks a disdainful brow at him. Charlie comes wading over and gets out, pulling Jack aside. Charlie’s words are rapid and low and hissy, and Jack’s are monotone. Hemorrhoid stands with me, sighing.
“He’s so dreamy, isn’t he?”
“Yeah,” I agree. “ - if we are in opposite world, and dreams are actually nightmares.”
She ignores me and latches back on to Jack the second he separates from Charlie, steering him towards the pool. Jack goes along with it, grimace obvious. Why is he doing it if he doesn’t like it?
“You,” A voice hisses in my ear. I turn to see Charlie, anger etching his mouth.
“Me,” I say. “Now that the introductions are over, we can finally move
The guy sniggers. “I’m Kyle Morris. Nice to meet you.”
“Isis,” I say automatically. “Destroyer of Hearts and Dreams. And Any Cakes In A Two-Mile Vicinity.”
“Ravenclaw,” he offers his hand to shake. I grab it with my greasy one.
“Hufflepuff,” I say. He quirks a brow.
“Really? You don’t seem all that nice.”
“Oh,” I point what’s left of my hot dog bun at him. “Just wait until you see my friends. I practically run a charity show.”
“The guy you came in with?” He nods to Jack, who’s currently being exceedingly merciful and letting black bikini girl cling to his arm and jabber at him, and she has a pierced belly button and probably a pierced vagina and her name is Hemorrhoid, by the way. The girls in the hot tub Kyle came from are slowly starting to notice just how good looking Jack is, and they get out in a group, strutting past Jack and diving into the nearby pool with aching sexiness. The boys follow like hungry hounds.
“Yeah, the goober being goobed on,” I say. “He’s my friend.”
“Just a friend?”
“Is that like, some subtle cue slash question I’m supposed to confirm so you know whether or not you’ve got a chance to sleep with me? Because if so it’s very not-subtle and lacking finesse, really, next time maybe try a neon sign taped to your forehead that says LOSER LOOKING TO GET LAID. With the numeral two replacing to, obviously, to save time, because that seems to be all guys really care about – getting laid as fast as possible.”
Kyle takes it in stride, looking mock-wounded. “Hey, at least I’m being honest.”
I roll my eyes and wander over to the pool, trying my darndest and failing my darndest to not glance at the way black-bikini is grinding her hip into Jack’s as she leans on him. Charlie’s off in the deep end of the pool with a bunch of girls, even his grin somehow grumpy as they splash him. Last time I checked, spying involved a lot more grappling guns and poison dart pens and a lot less giggling. I stand at the edge of the pool and watch the moon reflecting on the water in a wiggly silver medallion. Kyle stands beside me.
“So, what’s your major?”
“I’m a freshmen. Undecided. Nuclear Thermophysics. Culinary Arts. Depends on how I feel when I wake up that day.” I hold two hands out and balance them like scales. “Destroy the world, or make a cake to celebrate destroying the world. The choice is so gosh darn difficult.”
Kyle laughs. “God, you’re cool.”
“It’s been said,” I agree. “Screamed, really. By my enemies. Just before I decapitate them.”
Suddenly there’s a sharp pressure on my ass, a squeeze. I jump, my squeal entirely ugly and entirely necessary as I look to Kyle, horrified. My first grope ever. He smirks and shrugs. I ball my fist into two bigger fists, but I never get the chance to throw them. Kyle goes flying, splashing into the pool with an embarrassing flailing motion. Jack stands at the place he used to be, expression cool.
“Oops,” He drones. Hemorrhoid laughs, and the other girls starts laughing, and so when Kyle comes up sputtering he has no choice but to laugh nervously with the rest of them.
“Haha, nice one bro!”
Jack quirks a disdainful brow at him. Charlie comes wading over and gets out, pulling Jack aside. Charlie’s words are rapid and low and hissy, and Jack’s are monotone. Hemorrhoid stands with me, sighing.
“He’s so dreamy, isn’t he?”
“Yeah,” I agree. “ - if we are in opposite world, and dreams are actually nightmares.”
She ignores me and latches back on to Jack the second he separates from Charlie, steering him towards the pool. Jack goes along with it, grimace obvious. Why is he doing it if he doesn’t like it?
“You,” A voice hisses in my ear. I turn to see Charlie, anger etching his mouth.
“Me,” I say. “Now that the introductions are over, we can finally move
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