My son knowing normal people. Maybe the world isn't coming to an end.”
Theo laughed. “It is, Dad. And I'm the anti-Christ. But don't worry, I put you on the good minion list with Mom. You'll be taking care of the sulfur pits.”
He licked his finger. “God knows every father wants his son to be the anti-Christ.” He turned around, walking back to the counter and swiping another meatball. “Man, these things are good. Best thing in the world getting your mother into that class, if I do say so myself.”
Then Theo's mom clattered into the kitchen. In her late forties, she looked like any soccer mom in the country, highlighted blond hair, fine cheekbones with a bit of age around her eyes, and a slim, toned body. She wore white capris, open-toed heels, a plum blouse, and a white summer jacket. Her gums showed when she smiled, and her voice, high and loud, echoed through the kitchen. “Oh my gosh, Theo, introduce me immediately to this lovely young lady.” She strode forward, and she did have a circus smile. It was huge. She held her hand out, and as Theo introduced us, I shook it.
I realized I didn't know their last name. Here I was on the verge of dating a guy and I didn't know his last name. “Nice to meet you, ma'am.”
“My pleasure, Poe. I'm so happy you came.” She looked at me. “I LOVE your top! Where did you get it?”
“The Salvation Army in Anaheim.”
It didn't register with her. She turned to Theo's dad. “Honey next time we're down south, we've just got to stop by and get one.” She turned back to me. “Do they stock them regularly?”
I glanced at Theo, then shook my head. “They're used, ma'am. It just depends on who brings stuff in.”
She spun, twirled her finger, and opened the refrigerator. “Well, let's just hope then that somebody brings one in.” With that, she brought out a bag of shrimp and replaced the ones Theo had eaten. She pointed to my top. “What do those letters mean?”
I looked down at my top, which was basically a glorified pink T-shirt with three letters scrawled in fancy, Victorian handwriting across the front. I gave Theo a panicked glance.
“FTW?
Um—”
Theo cut in. “Fuck the World.”
She busied herself with replacing the green rolled things I'd eaten, smiling wider than ever. “Very nice. Very nice. A statement of sorts.” She glanced at her watch. “Oh, they'll be here soon. Honey? The patio bar? Make sure there's ice?”
Theo's dad made a beeline for the sliding door and Theo hopped from his barstool. “Hey, Ma, we're going to my room. If you need us, we'll probably be naked, so knock first.”
She stacked cocktail glasses on the counter. “Safe sex, Theo. Remember that. We don't want any nasty nasties, now, do we?” I cringed, and she turned to me. “You twohave a good time, and make yourself at home, Poe. Come on down and mingle if you'd like. Lots of treats.”
I nodded, and Theo led me out and up the stairs. He chuckled. “I told you so.”
“Holy moly”
“You can say anything and she's unfazed.”
Up the stairs and to the right, Theo led me down a wide hall, then opened a door. “My kingdom. Welcome.”
I walked in. Black. All black. The walls were painted black and covered with eighties rock posters, a neon beer sign hung over the windows looking out on the backyard, and it was a mess. Clothes and shoes layered the floor, empty pop cans were scattered over his nightstand, dresser, and windowsill, and papers covered his computer desk. He grabbed a remote and switched on the stereo sitting next to the television. “The Number of the Beast,” by Iron Maiden, piped through the surround sound. I plopped on his bed. “Nice room.”
“Yeah. I don't allow the housekeeper in. She'd probably steal my stuff.”
“Your stuff?”
“Yeah. Mary Jooo Wanna.”
“I didn't know you smoked.”
He shrugged. “Not a lot, but sometimes I have to.”
“You have to?”
“Mom. She gets crazy sometimes. Like not-joking-around
Theo laughed. “It is, Dad. And I'm the anti-Christ. But don't worry, I put you on the good minion list with Mom. You'll be taking care of the sulfur pits.”
He licked his finger. “God knows every father wants his son to be the anti-Christ.” He turned around, walking back to the counter and swiping another meatball. “Man, these things are good. Best thing in the world getting your mother into that class, if I do say so myself.”
Then Theo's mom clattered into the kitchen. In her late forties, she looked like any soccer mom in the country, highlighted blond hair, fine cheekbones with a bit of age around her eyes, and a slim, toned body. She wore white capris, open-toed heels, a plum blouse, and a white summer jacket. Her gums showed when she smiled, and her voice, high and loud, echoed through the kitchen. “Oh my gosh, Theo, introduce me immediately to this lovely young lady.” She strode forward, and she did have a circus smile. It was huge. She held her hand out, and as Theo introduced us, I shook it.
I realized I didn't know their last name. Here I was on the verge of dating a guy and I didn't know his last name. “Nice to meet you, ma'am.”
“My pleasure, Poe. I'm so happy you came.” She looked at me. “I LOVE your top! Where did you get it?”
“The Salvation Army in Anaheim.”
It didn't register with her. She turned to Theo's dad. “Honey next time we're down south, we've just got to stop by and get one.” She turned back to me. “Do they stock them regularly?”
I glanced at Theo, then shook my head. “They're used, ma'am. It just depends on who brings stuff in.”
She spun, twirled her finger, and opened the refrigerator. “Well, let's just hope then that somebody brings one in.” With that, she brought out a bag of shrimp and replaced the ones Theo had eaten. She pointed to my top. “What do those letters mean?”
I looked down at my top, which was basically a glorified pink T-shirt with three letters scrawled in fancy, Victorian handwriting across the front. I gave Theo a panicked glance.
“FTW?
Um—”
Theo cut in. “Fuck the World.”
She busied herself with replacing the green rolled things I'd eaten, smiling wider than ever. “Very nice. Very nice. A statement of sorts.” She glanced at her watch. “Oh, they'll be here soon. Honey? The patio bar? Make sure there's ice?”
Theo's dad made a beeline for the sliding door and Theo hopped from his barstool. “Hey, Ma, we're going to my room. If you need us, we'll probably be naked, so knock first.”
She stacked cocktail glasses on the counter. “Safe sex, Theo. Remember that. We don't want any nasty nasties, now, do we?” I cringed, and she turned to me. “You twohave a good time, and make yourself at home, Poe. Come on down and mingle if you'd like. Lots of treats.”
I nodded, and Theo led me out and up the stairs. He chuckled. “I told you so.”
“Holy moly”
“You can say anything and she's unfazed.”
Up the stairs and to the right, Theo led me down a wide hall, then opened a door. “My kingdom. Welcome.”
I walked in. Black. All black. The walls were painted black and covered with eighties rock posters, a neon beer sign hung over the windows looking out on the backyard, and it was a mess. Clothes and shoes layered the floor, empty pop cans were scattered over his nightstand, dresser, and windowsill, and papers covered his computer desk. He grabbed a remote and switched on the stereo sitting next to the television. “The Number of the Beast,” by Iron Maiden, piped through the surround sound. I plopped on his bed. “Nice room.”
“Yeah. I don't allow the housekeeper in. She'd probably steal my stuff.”
“Your stuff?”
“Yeah. Mary Jooo Wanna.”
“I didn't know you smoked.”
He shrugged. “Not a lot, but sometimes I have to.”
“You have to?”
“Mom. She gets crazy sometimes. Like not-joking-around
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