Broken Soldier (Book One) by Bruce George

We’ve got to change a few more names
here. Instead of Senior Pilot, let’s call it Captain; and instead
of Junior Pilot, we’ll call him the Executive Officer, or XO. And
we definitely have to come up with a name for this ship and the
computer.”
    Jo looked puzzled. “You wish to name a computer. It
isn’t alive. Why would you do that?”
    “I guess because we talk to it, as though it was
alive. It obeys our commands, doesn’t it, so it’s like a servant or
a…a steward in a human Navy. When we bring others on board, before
they receive their upgrades, they will interact with the computer.
They will accept the entire process much easier, if they can speak
to a named intelligence. Oh, and it should be a woman’s name.”
    Jo suggested, “We could name it after your late
wife.”
    “No. That would be too emotionally painful for me. I
don’t like the idea of all those guys talking to my wife.”
    “Ah yes, of course. I understand and I
apologize.”
    “It’s all right. I know you meant well. Perhaps we
should give her a name that they can relate to.”
    Mike began laughing and Jo asked, “What?”
    “Well, for some strange reason, I remembered being
in a strip joint in Baltimore. There was this one girl there, with
huge boobs, named Bambi. Most guys would get a kick out of that,
although the brass would probably object.”
    Jo told him, “I don’t know what a strip joint is,
but if you feel that is a good choice for a name, than we will call
the computer Bambi. You are the Grand Leader of the rebellion and
as such, your decisions must prevail. Once the others arrive, they
will not know that she was only recently named. They should accept
it, I would think.”
    Mike grinned and said, “Ok then. The computer is now
Bambi. I assume you will make the necessary change?”
    “Yes. It’s already done. Bambi, say hello to the
Grand Leader.”
    A voice came from nowhere. “Hello, Grand Leader. I
hope that my name is pleasing to you.”
    Mike cried out, “OK, next change. We will not be
calling anyone Grand Leader. It’s too…North Korean. I’ll explain
that later. For now, I guess I’m like the Captain and these are the
Captain’s quarters.”
    Jo closed his eyes and Mike knew he was implementing
the change.
    Bambi said, “Captain, I’ll have new uniforms ready
for you in a few minutes.”
    “Thank you, Bambi.”
    Jo told him, “It’s unusual to thank a computer.
Saurans would see that as a sign of weakness.”
    “Nonsense. Being polite is never weakness, although
it could be misinterpreted that way. Say, how do I get her to
change her voice?”
    “Just talk to her and explain to her the subtleties
as best you can. When she is wrong, tell her so and she’ll make
adjustments. Eventually she will be speaking as a human, if that is
what you wish. Saurans would never allow a computer to speak as a
sentient being. It would be an insult to them.”
    Mike got an evil grin on his face and said, “Well,
it looks as though humans are going to be shaking things up out
here.”
    Jo looked concerned and told him, “Sometimes, you
frighten me, Mike. You seem to relish turning things inside out,
even though there could be negative results. You must be very
cautious about altering the balance of conventional wisdom. Most
beings will not appreciate it.”
    Mike reached up and patted the tall alien on the
shoulder. I know that, Jo. I just get like that when I’m with
someone I trust. And now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to wash and
get some sleep.”
    “Yes, of course Captain Hurst. We will speak again
after an adequate rest period.”
    Mike knew that Jo was more astute about human
terminology than he let on. Jo seemed to enjoy prodding Mike by
deliberately using alternative phrases for various functions. Sleep
for instance, was rest period. The thing was, Mike felt more
comfortable with Jo, because he displayed a sense of humor.
    When he entered his bedroom, he was amazed again at
the amount of space