Broken by Tanille Edwards Page A

were some things I was embarrassed to admit to myself. It was just that when Mama was home, I always felt wanted. She would wait for me to get home after school. She always had little snacks for me. Everything at home was connected. I was part of her. I got that feeling with Merek. He waited for me after class. He checked in to see how I was. He called me to make sure I reached home okay.
    Today, Merek seemed more determined than ever to have me to himself every second. He had texted me “Want to steal you for a kiss already” by second period! The bright sunlight from the massive windows in the café brought me back to earth. I picked a quiet spot near the counter with a great view of the avenue. I had so quickly forgotten the order of things. One could think that the A-listers were the leaders, and everyone elseaspired. But I was beginning to see things differently. Once I sat down, three other A-list seniors and two A-list juniors sat at the tables closest to mine. A tall, neatly put together girl came to sit at my table. “Hey,” she said.
    â€œHi,” I said.
    â€œI’m Courtney,” she said. Her slightly stained red lips matched her lightly smoky gray eye shadow. She had hair flat-ironed pin-straight and it was dark brown. She reminded me a little of Sierra.
    â€œI’m Milan. I love your hair. Are you new?” I asked.
    â€œI’m a junior. I just transferred here. I was going to public school in Beverly Hills,” she said.
    Something told me to turn around. Sure enough, when I did I saw Cara and the twins making the approach. I liked my friends, but sometimes I wondered if it would be good to have friends unrelated to my friends.
    â€œListen, Courtney, my girls are coming. I have to save them seats.” I looked back at them, and then decided to lay it on the line. “To be honest, they are a little territorial. Me, not so much. I like new. My boyfriend is new.” I really couldn’t believe I was saying this. “We should do coffee sometime, though. Hit me up: @MilanParkAve If you need to phone a friend, being new and all. I have you covered.”
    â€œCool,” she said, seeming a little disappointed.
    I was trying to save her.
    â€œHi,” Cara threw herself in Courtney’s direction. I shot Courtney a very concerned look. There was something about Cara that was all too overwhelming.
    â€œCourtney,” I said.
    â€œHow do you guys know each other?” Cara asked.
    â€œWhy?” I asked.
    â€œOh,” Cara’s face quickly turned to a grimace. “So you’re leaving.” Cara turned her back to Courtney as if she were insignificant.
    â€œUmmm, yeah. I guess.” Courtney looked disheartened. Her eyes shifted to the floor.
    â€œNo, why don’t you stay, Courtney? We can all fit.” I smiled.
    â€œLocker run, sugarplum! I will be back, though,” Cara said.
    â€œWhatever!” Frenchy said.
    I ignored Cara as she left. I turned my attention back to the kids in the cafeteria and, like clockwork, they stared right back at me—or maybe Courtney. My guess? They wanted to know who the newest girl was to infiltrate the group. Part of me was hoping to save her from this. But she did come over and introduce herself. Maybe this was what she wanted. It was too early to tell. Frenchy looked like she was wondering the same thing.
    Oddly enough, Sierra hadn’t said much yet. Sometimes she didn’t like new people. Everything was always about hierarchy. A little part of me loved the hierarchy. It was what made lunch interesting. Though I can’t remember when I stopped hating it and started loving it. One quick reflection of my face in the spotless window across from our table, where the sun shined from high in the sky, reminded me of why I had hated this all. That was all people saw in me, my reflection. Grossly petrified to admit it, for a moment I ventured deep inside my heart. My heart was still