It’s all right. It wouldn’t
have made a difference. In the end, he would have married Ronda. My
presence in your family would have made problems if he had chosen
me. Nothing changed because of your lie.”
Jude turned. His voice was clearer now,
and his expression open. “Deena probably lied too. You know Mitch
loved you.”
“ I think you guys are trying
to make something out of memories,” Madeline told him. “That’s all
it is now. Whatever we had has no meaning in our lives now. We are
not the same people.”
He cursed and glanced away, then back
to her face. “I’ve not lived with this very well. Mitch is my
brother. He fell apart after you—what I said and did—and hell,
afraid to tell him, because I looked up to him, envied
him.”
It took everything in her to say it but
she told him, “I’m sorry about that, everything we do has
consequences. I’m sure you know that now. However, as far as what I
feel, you can let go. I forgive you.”
Jude half laughed, shaking his head.
“You should be pissed at the world for the way you were raised. You
got a pretty shitty deal all around. I don't know how it’s easy for
you.”
She did not look away from him, because
she wanted him to understand every word she was speaking. “I didn’t
say it was, easy. Nevertheless, I am not wasting my life. I am not
trying to live in what is over and done. I learned the hard way,
yes. But good comes out of bad sometimes, and I know what I don't
want.”
There was a string of silent moments.
He sighed and murmured, “Our children are dating each
other.”
“ Yep.” Madeline watched him
half sit on the banister.
“ I think that's all it
is.”
She nodded.
“ I don't want you holding
what I’ve done against Coy.”
She shrugged. Jude was another Coburn
who thought explanations made everything right again.
“ We’re all grown up now.
Been married, divorced, kids. We got to handle this stuff,
right?”
“ Well, your relationship
with your son, like the one with your brother, is something you’ve
got to see to. I can only say, my interest in Coy extends only far
as Brook is concerned.”
“ I understand. You don't
know him aside from us.”
They looked at each other a moment and
he subsequently nodded as if answering some mental questions,
before walking down to the motorcycle. He put his helmet on. Jude
climbed on and flipped the kickstand up, balancing it with his
legs. After snapping the strap on the helmet, he glanced up at
her.
“ I only took those pictures
you knew I was taking, I didn’t spy on y’all. I got lost when that
was going on.” He grinned and winked. “I didn’t watch or
anything.”
Madeline nodded. “It’s all right,
Jude.”
He almost grimaced. “I loved
you.”
“ You loved the idea of me.”
She shook her head. From his explanation, she knew she was right.
“You didn’t know me, Jude. We make many mistakes with our feelings
as kids. We build things up in our minds to fill up our own
needs.”
He said regretfully, “Yeah, maybe that
was it. My mind was screwed with other stuff at the time.” He was
silent, merely looking at her a long time before saying, “I hurt
you, and I’m sorry.”
Madeline had turned, gripped the brace
with her hand so that no emotion showed in her voice. “It’s over
and finished with.”
He nodded slowly, snapped the
chinstrap, and rode off.
She collapsed in the chair then, her
legs weak, her mind reeling. She felt a little queasy.
He had lied. Jude’s words added to the
others prompted her to believe the message from Mitch. Covering her
face with her hands, she took prolonged breaths. Oh God, how it
tore her up to think his jealousy of Mitch made him lie to her so
awfully.
They would never know, none of them,
what those lies had done to her. Mitch doesn’t love you, meant much
more than they would ever recognize. To them, it was all about what
they had done or how they reacted. No doubt, they thought the worst
repercussion for
have made a difference. In the end, he would have married Ronda. My
presence in your family would have made problems if he had chosen
me. Nothing changed because of your lie.”
Jude turned. His voice was clearer now,
and his expression open. “Deena probably lied too. You know Mitch
loved you.”
“ I think you guys are trying
to make something out of memories,” Madeline told him. “That’s all
it is now. Whatever we had has no meaning in our lives now. We are
not the same people.”
He cursed and glanced away, then back
to her face. “I’ve not lived with this very well. Mitch is my
brother. He fell apart after you—what I said and did—and hell,
afraid to tell him, because I looked up to him, envied
him.”
It took everything in her to say it but
she told him, “I’m sorry about that, everything we do has
consequences. I’m sure you know that now. However, as far as what I
feel, you can let go. I forgive you.”
Jude half laughed, shaking his head.
“You should be pissed at the world for the way you were raised. You
got a pretty shitty deal all around. I don't know how it’s easy for
you.”
She did not look away from him, because
she wanted him to understand every word she was speaking. “I didn’t
say it was, easy. Nevertheless, I am not wasting my life. I am not
trying to live in what is over and done. I learned the hard way,
yes. But good comes out of bad sometimes, and I know what I don't
want.”
There was a string of silent moments.
He sighed and murmured, “Our children are dating each
other.”
“ Yep.” Madeline watched him
half sit on the banister.
“ I think that's all it
is.”
She nodded.
“ I don't want you holding
what I’ve done against Coy.”
She shrugged. Jude was another Coburn
who thought explanations made everything right again.
“ We’re all grown up now.
Been married, divorced, kids. We got to handle this stuff,
right?”
“ Well, your relationship
with your son, like the one with your brother, is something you’ve
got to see to. I can only say, my interest in Coy extends only far
as Brook is concerned.”
“ I understand. You don't
know him aside from us.”
They looked at each other a moment and
he subsequently nodded as if answering some mental questions,
before walking down to the motorcycle. He put his helmet on. Jude
climbed on and flipped the kickstand up, balancing it with his
legs. After snapping the strap on the helmet, he glanced up at
her.
“ I only took those pictures
you knew I was taking, I didn’t spy on y’all. I got lost when that
was going on.” He grinned and winked. “I didn’t watch or
anything.”
Madeline nodded. “It’s all right,
Jude.”
He almost grimaced. “I loved
you.”
“ You loved the idea of me.”
She shook her head. From his explanation, she knew she was right.
“You didn’t know me, Jude. We make many mistakes with our feelings
as kids. We build things up in our minds to fill up our own
needs.”
He said regretfully, “Yeah, maybe that
was it. My mind was screwed with other stuff at the time.” He was
silent, merely looking at her a long time before saying, “I hurt
you, and I’m sorry.”
Madeline had turned, gripped the brace
with her hand so that no emotion showed in her voice. “It’s over
and finished with.”
He nodded slowly, snapped the
chinstrap, and rode off.
She collapsed in the chair then, her
legs weak, her mind reeling. She felt a little queasy.
He had lied. Jude’s words added to the
others prompted her to believe the message from Mitch. Covering her
face with her hands, she took prolonged breaths. Oh God, how it
tore her up to think his jealousy of Mitch made him lie to her so
awfully.
They would never know, none of them,
what those lies had done to her. Mitch doesn’t love you, meant much
more than they would ever recognize. To them, it was all about what
they had done or how they reacted. No doubt, they thought the worst
repercussion for
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