maternity extensions, and I think itâs an important and compelling trend.
I noticed that you were about to finish your drink and I was wondering if I could possibly watch you purchase another one. And, at the risk of being forward, if you would consider purchasing one for me.
What do you do? And before you answer, Iâm not looking for a necessarily work-related response. I donât think we have to be defined by our industrial pursuits, especially when theyâre antiquated and heteronormative. I curse my mother,who is an otherwise lovely human person, for not buying me an Easy-Bake Oven when I was younger. I grew up idolizing male thugs like Neil Armstrong and Jimmy Carter. And, yes, I work at ESPN, but I spend more time being spiritual and overcoming adversity, for example, than I do working for some faceless corporation. And if I were to find a mate, be it you or someone else here tonight, I would be more than happy to tell the proverbial âmanâ that I quit so I can raise our offspring with gender-neutral hobbies, while my biologically female partner continues to pursue her interests, be they industrial, recreational, or, yes, even sexual with another mate.
Oh, how gauche of me! Iâve just been chattering away incessantly like some kind of boy or girl who talks a lot. I havenât even properly introduced myself. Although, one often gets the uneasy sense that patriarchy dictates a learned and ultimately damaging order of events with men taking an unearned lead. My name is Terri, with a heart over the i instead of a dot. I have a heart, is what that says, and Iâm not afraid to wear it on my sleeve.
So what do you think? Would you like to take me up on my offer for you to buy me that drink?
If you would like to respond, that would be wonderful. Of course, if you would like to continue to sit here silently, staring at me with that powerful gaze, which both breaks gender constructs and also scares me a bit, that would be fine as well.
Whatâs that? I should go fuck myself? I agree! Men should be more self-generative! Thank you for your astute assertion. Why should women exclusively have to bear the burden ofchildbirth, when men are biologically doomed to fear commitment? Itâs counterintuitive and socially degrading.
Ahh, that beer is refreshing! Thank you for throwing it in my face on this warm summer evening.
Okay, okay! Iâm leaving!
Thank you for your blunt rejection of me. It takes a lot of courage, which you no doubt have in equal measure to any other human. Now, if youâll excuse me, Iâm going to the bathroom where Iâll cry silently in a stall, questioning my body and texting my mom, but for now, I thank you for your time, which was equal in value to mine.
A POST-GENDER-NORMATIVE WOMAN TRIES TO PICK UP A MAN AT A BAR
Hey, howâs it going? No, donât get up; Iâll stand.
I saw you over here sitting alone and I thought, âHow sad. A man shouldnât be left to drink all by himself. Itâs hard enough as it is with social pressures to conform to an unattainable idea of masculinity perpetuated by a patriarchal and antiquated set of phallocratic norms.â
I noticed that you were about to finish that drink and I was wondering if I could buy you another one. I have a tab here. They know me. I drink pretty heavily.
Iâve been pounding Irish Car Bombs all night, but Iâm willing to transition to cosmos if youâre more inclined.
In fact, a cosmo may be a better option for me anyhow. Not because of its pink hue and dainty lemon rind, but becausethe alcohol content is lower and I have to be up fairly early for my corporate executive office job.
Iâm not sure about your schedule for tomorrow morningâ you could be doing anything from packing school lunches to midwiferyâbut I have to be up at 6:30 sharp. Mainly to hit the gym. And not because Iâm concerned with maintaining a taut feminine physique but
I noticed that you were about to finish your drink and I was wondering if I could possibly watch you purchase another one. And, at the risk of being forward, if you would consider purchasing one for me.
What do you do? And before you answer, Iâm not looking for a necessarily work-related response. I donât think we have to be defined by our industrial pursuits, especially when theyâre antiquated and heteronormative. I curse my mother,who is an otherwise lovely human person, for not buying me an Easy-Bake Oven when I was younger. I grew up idolizing male thugs like Neil Armstrong and Jimmy Carter. And, yes, I work at ESPN, but I spend more time being spiritual and overcoming adversity, for example, than I do working for some faceless corporation. And if I were to find a mate, be it you or someone else here tonight, I would be more than happy to tell the proverbial âmanâ that I quit so I can raise our offspring with gender-neutral hobbies, while my biologically female partner continues to pursue her interests, be they industrial, recreational, or, yes, even sexual with another mate.
Oh, how gauche of me! Iâve just been chattering away incessantly like some kind of boy or girl who talks a lot. I havenât even properly introduced myself. Although, one often gets the uneasy sense that patriarchy dictates a learned and ultimately damaging order of events with men taking an unearned lead. My name is Terri, with a heart over the i instead of a dot. I have a heart, is what that says, and Iâm not afraid to wear it on my sleeve.
So what do you think? Would you like to take me up on my offer for you to buy me that drink?
If you would like to respond, that would be wonderful. Of course, if you would like to continue to sit here silently, staring at me with that powerful gaze, which both breaks gender constructs and also scares me a bit, that would be fine as well.
Whatâs that? I should go fuck myself? I agree! Men should be more self-generative! Thank you for your astute assertion. Why should women exclusively have to bear the burden ofchildbirth, when men are biologically doomed to fear commitment? Itâs counterintuitive and socially degrading.
Ahh, that beer is refreshing! Thank you for throwing it in my face on this warm summer evening.
Okay, okay! Iâm leaving!
Thank you for your blunt rejection of me. It takes a lot of courage, which you no doubt have in equal measure to any other human. Now, if youâll excuse me, Iâm going to the bathroom where Iâll cry silently in a stall, questioning my body and texting my mom, but for now, I thank you for your time, which was equal in value to mine.
A POST-GENDER-NORMATIVE WOMAN TRIES TO PICK UP A MAN AT A BAR
Hey, howâs it going? No, donât get up; Iâll stand.
I saw you over here sitting alone and I thought, âHow sad. A man shouldnât be left to drink all by himself. Itâs hard enough as it is with social pressures to conform to an unattainable idea of masculinity perpetuated by a patriarchal and antiquated set of phallocratic norms.â
I noticed that you were about to finish that drink and I was wondering if I could buy you another one. I have a tab here. They know me. I drink pretty heavily.
Iâve been pounding Irish Car Bombs all night, but Iâm willing to transition to cosmos if youâre more inclined.
In fact, a cosmo may be a better option for me anyhow. Not because of its pink hue and dainty lemon rind, but becausethe alcohol content is lower and I have to be up fairly early for my corporate executive office job.
Iâm not sure about your schedule for tomorrow morningâ you could be doing anything from packing school lunches to midwiferyâbut I have to be up at 6:30 sharp. Mainly to hit the gym. And not because Iâm concerned with maintaining a taut feminine physique but
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