Breaking Matthew by Jennifer H. Westall Page B

I was saving it up to buy a house for Vanessa and me.”
    He leaned forward and smiled. The smile did not reach his eyes. “Well, then you go on up to Nashville, and get yourself a job. You and Vanessa can pick out whatever house you like. I’ll see to it the money gets paid to the cost of the house. In fact, I’ll even throw in some extra to help you kids settle in.”
    Control. It always came down to control. “No, thank you,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I’d like the money returned to me, that’s all. I’ll determine how it’s spent.”
    He sighed and folded his hands over his chest. “And I suppose you intend to spend it on that wretched girl who’s in jail for murder.”
    “I intend to spend my own money any way I see fit.”
    “That’s what I was afraid of. You see, I can’t just stand by and allow you to throw away your future on someone so worthless. She deceived us all once before, and she used your good name to smuggle food away from hardworking men who needed it. She’s a liar, and now she’s a criminal. I won’t have our family name dragged through the mud.”
    Realization mixed with exasperation made my volume rise. “That’s what really matters here, isn’t it? Not the fact that she’s innocent! Not that someone decent and kind needs our help. Not that she practically saved my life . But that your precious family name might be tarnished!”
    “It’s your family name too!” My father’s voice finally reached the tone he used when demanding obedience. “I’ve worked hard all my life to secure a future for each one of my children, and I’ll not apologize for it. Nor will I stand by while one of them tosses it aside as if it had no meaning. You are a Doyle, and you will act like a Doyle!”
    I stared into his eyes, so hardened they were blind to the truth. “I don’t want any part of being a Doyle if it means being like you.”
    “Really? Oh well, then, you’re more than welcome to change your name! March right over to that courthouse and do it if you like. But that will not change who you are on the inside, and no matter what you do, you will always be my son. You want to come in here and fight me?” He chuckled and shook his head. “You’re more like me than you realize.”
    “I’m nothing like you. I want nothing to do with controlling the people I love. I would never force someone to do what I want rather than allowing them to make their own choices.”
    “Is that so?”
    The corner of his mouth tipped as he stared into my soul. I couldn’t stand one more second of being in the same room with him, so I left as quickly as I’d come in. Once I was down on the street again, I stomped through the rain back toward the courthouse where my car was parked, continuing my argument with him in my mind.
    I was nothing like him. Nothing! But his words cut into me, digging into my motives for wanting that money in the first place. Maybe I was trying to force Ruby into accepting my help, but that was different. He was pushing me to do what he wanted; be who he wanted me to be. It had nothing to do with loving me. It was not the same!
     
    By the time I got back to Ruby’s cell, I thought I might just come right out of my skin. How could I explain that I’d failed her once again? That she’d have to stay in this awful place for who knew how long?
    She was standing on the other side of the cell, her face turned toward the light coming through the small window, her hands lifted by her side. Her eyes were closed, and her lips moved with what I assumed to be a silent prayer. I was intruding on something private, a conversation I knew was none of my business, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away. She practically glowed from the inside out.
    A tear slipped down her cheek, and she tilted her head back. “Your will be done, Father,” she said. Then she opened her eyes and saw me watching her. She smiled.
    “Are you all right?” I asked.
    She smoothed her hair. “I uh…just finished