up?
I have seen what happens to some of these women and children who are rescued after being abducted for days, months and even years. They are never the same again. Would I be able to have a relationship with Forrest after this? Will he even want to after he hears what I have to tell him? I know I will never love another as much as I love him but I just don’t see any way around the issues I am bound to have if we made it out alive.
How would I feel if Jeremy died? I know I would be sad. It wouldn’t devastate me to lose Jeremy like it would Forrest but it would hurt nonetheless.
There are so many what ifs and ways things can go right and wrong for all of us. I am scared of them all. It is a scary thought to think about any of it. Why couldn’t life just be simple? Life has gotten so screwed up and I have no idea how to fix it.
As if life wasn’t already complicated enough, I think the birth control has failed again. I’m afraid of what will happen if Jeremy finds out. I don’t want to go through the same brutal beating I had last time when he found out I was pregnant. The pain I had to endure you couldn’t even imagine. The constant blows to my abdomen over and over to force an abortion was torture. I had thrown up continuously while tears streamed down my face like a waterfall. The bruises along my abdomen lasted for weeks it seemed while the pain lasted longer. My muscles were sore and my insides felt like they burst with every continuous blow. I lost the baby as blood flowed out of me and down my legs. I may not have wanted the baby to be Jeremy’s but I did want the baby.
Now I am in a similar predicament and I am afraid to go through the same excruciating pain as I had then. I don’t know how I am going to tell him or if I should but if I wait and he finds out, the baby will be further along and it will be even worse than the last time. But if I tell him now, and explain that I would love nothing more than to have a family, maybe he will have mercy on me and let me keep the baby.
***
As I look out of the balcony several days later, I search the outside of the fence for something to catch my eye. I don’t know what it is but I get the feeling as if I am being watched. Maybe not me specifically but it feels as if there are eyes peering in searching, watching, and plotting. Maybe the new guards that Jeremy hired just give me the creeps. I am not sure.
The feeling that something is coming, something big, is getting stronger as every day passes. Every day that draws closer to the meeting with Jeremy’s uncle, the more I feel like everything is going to come crashing down around me and I will lose everything. Not that I have much to begin with but it just feels like after this, my life will be changed forever once again.
“What’s on your mind beautiful?” Jeremy slides up behind me pulling my back to his chest and wrapping his arms around my waist. I have already mentioned my fears once before and I feel as if he wouldn’t want to hear about them again.
“When you have your meeting with your uncle, can I stay in my room? I have a bad feeling and I would feel much safer the farther I am from your uncle.”
“Are you worried I can’t protect you?” He sounds miffed.
“I’m worried that this is a trap. I’m sure you could protect me but I don’t trust him.”
“And you trust me?”
“Yes. With protecting me against someone else hurting me or taking me from you I believe you would protect me.” My heart and body are a different story. No matter my feelings for him, I know he could hurt me physically and emotionally.
“I see. And what is it you think my uncle is up to?” He seems genuinely curious and surprisingly isn’t angry with my fears.
“I believe he plans to ambush you.”
“Well he would have to get through my guards first. They will check him once he reaches the gates and escort him in. He will not be allowed to bring anyone else with him to this meeting so you have
I have seen what happens to some of these women and children who are rescued after being abducted for days, months and even years. They are never the same again. Would I be able to have a relationship with Forrest after this? Will he even want to after he hears what I have to tell him? I know I will never love another as much as I love him but I just don’t see any way around the issues I am bound to have if we made it out alive.
How would I feel if Jeremy died? I know I would be sad. It wouldn’t devastate me to lose Jeremy like it would Forrest but it would hurt nonetheless.
There are so many what ifs and ways things can go right and wrong for all of us. I am scared of them all. It is a scary thought to think about any of it. Why couldn’t life just be simple? Life has gotten so screwed up and I have no idea how to fix it.
As if life wasn’t already complicated enough, I think the birth control has failed again. I’m afraid of what will happen if Jeremy finds out. I don’t want to go through the same brutal beating I had last time when he found out I was pregnant. The pain I had to endure you couldn’t even imagine. The constant blows to my abdomen over and over to force an abortion was torture. I had thrown up continuously while tears streamed down my face like a waterfall. The bruises along my abdomen lasted for weeks it seemed while the pain lasted longer. My muscles were sore and my insides felt like they burst with every continuous blow. I lost the baby as blood flowed out of me and down my legs. I may not have wanted the baby to be Jeremy’s but I did want the baby.
Now I am in a similar predicament and I am afraid to go through the same excruciating pain as I had then. I don’t know how I am going to tell him or if I should but if I wait and he finds out, the baby will be further along and it will be even worse than the last time. But if I tell him now, and explain that I would love nothing more than to have a family, maybe he will have mercy on me and let me keep the baby.
***
As I look out of the balcony several days later, I search the outside of the fence for something to catch my eye. I don’t know what it is but I get the feeling as if I am being watched. Maybe not me specifically but it feels as if there are eyes peering in searching, watching, and plotting. Maybe the new guards that Jeremy hired just give me the creeps. I am not sure.
The feeling that something is coming, something big, is getting stronger as every day passes. Every day that draws closer to the meeting with Jeremy’s uncle, the more I feel like everything is going to come crashing down around me and I will lose everything. Not that I have much to begin with but it just feels like after this, my life will be changed forever once again.
“What’s on your mind beautiful?” Jeremy slides up behind me pulling my back to his chest and wrapping his arms around my waist. I have already mentioned my fears once before and I feel as if he wouldn’t want to hear about them again.
“When you have your meeting with your uncle, can I stay in my room? I have a bad feeling and I would feel much safer the farther I am from your uncle.”
“Are you worried I can’t protect you?” He sounds miffed.
“I’m worried that this is a trap. I’m sure you could protect me but I don’t trust him.”
“And you trust me?”
“Yes. With protecting me against someone else hurting me or taking me from you I believe you would protect me.” My heart and body are a different story. No matter my feelings for him, I know he could hurt me physically and emotionally.
“I see. And what is it you think my uncle is up to?” He seems genuinely curious and surprisingly isn’t angry with my fears.
“I believe he plans to ambush you.”
“Well he would have to get through my guards first. They will check him once he reaches the gates and escort him in. He will not be allowed to bring anyone else with him to this meeting so you have
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