Boys Will Be Boys

Boys Will Be Boys by Jeff Pearlman

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Authors: Jeff Pearlman
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Cowboys had paid him a $1.25 million “exit bonus” to accept the deal (as well as ten first-class airline tickets), and the Vikings threw in the free use of a house and a Mercedes-Benz. “Herschel,” Burns said at the introductory press conference, “I want to welcome you to the Minnesota Vikings. I’d like to see [the football] going across that end zone about ten times a game.”
    Though the trade was difficult to analyze at the time, its impact was monumental. This wasn’t Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio. This was Lou Brock, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, and Billy Williams for Ernie Broglio. Over time Johnson, always eager to trade a high draft pick for a bushel of lower ones, turned the Vikings’ package into nineteen players—including running back Emmitt Smith, cornerback Kevin Smith, safety Darren Woodson, cornerback Clayton Holmes, and defensive lineman Russell Maryland.
    And what of Herschel Walker?
    In his debut with the Vikings, Walker first touched the pigskin on a kickoff and returned the ball 51 yards. Minutes later, he took his initial handoff from quarterback Tommy Kramer and ran 47 yards up-field. “Not bad,” a beaming Lynn said in the Metrodome press box. “Two plays, a hundred yards.”
    Walker produced the best rushing effort by a Viking in six years, compiling 148 yards on 18 carries in a 26–14 victory over the Packers.Wrote Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post: “Maybe the Minnesota Vikings didn’t give up enough for Herschel Walker. What a bargain.”
    The euphoria lasted for a week. Walker was the wrong back for the Vikings, whose offensive line relied on stunts and traps, not straight-ahead physicality. Minnesota finished the season 10–6 and lost its opening postseason game. Walker ended with 669 rushing yards in eleven games. A hot T-shirt in town read THE H-BOMB HAS LANDED ON MINNESOTA.
    “When we brought him here, there went our Super Bowl hopes,” said Vikings safety Joey Browner. “There went our future.”
    Months after the deal was completed, Jones and Lynn met in a conference room at the NFL owners meeting in New Orleans. Ackles had prepared a letter to NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue stating that the Cowboys were going to release all the players acquired in the trade. A copy was presented to Lynn.
    “Mike Lynn always had this nice suntan,” said Ackles. “But when I gave that letter to him, the guy turned absolutely pale. He knew he had just made the biggest screwup in NFL history.”
    Frustrated, angry, and humiliated, Lynn told Jones to keep the damn picks and the players.
    Then he flew back to Minnesota. Alone.
     
    Even though The Trade (as the Walker deal came to be known throughout Texas) would eventually help the Cowboys win multiple Super Bowls, for Dallas players it was a Roberto Duran hook to the gut.
    Au revoir, season.
    With Walker, Dallas was terrible. Without Walker, Dallas was a joke. The team was already missing Aikman to a broken finger, and second-year receiver Michael Irvin would suffer a season-ending knee injury in the sixth game. In its first contest without Walker, Dallas actually ended the third quarter tied with San Francisco at 14 beforeallowing 17 unanswered points in a 31–14 defeat. Daryl Clack, the fill-in halfback, ran for 32 yards.
    “We are making progress,” Johnson said afterward. “I hate to lose, as anybody who spends any time around me knows, but I can see now that we are starting to become a football team.”
    An 0–6 football team. But a football team nonetheless.
     
    The Cowboys dropped their next two games and traveled to Washington on November 5 as the NFL’s only 0–8 operation.
    By now, life at Valley Ranch was unbearable. Prior to the previous week’s loss to the Phoenix Cardinals, Jones introduced former Cowboy Lee Roy Jordan into the Ring of Honor and was all but booed off the field. There were a season-high 2,461 no-shows, and one fan wore a sack over his head reading GEE, I MISS TOM LANDRY.
    Ed Werder of the Fort Worth

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