Boy Caesar by Jeremy Reed

best solution. But instead he was once again making himself vulnerable by refusing help.
    ‘I’ve got to see my supervisor later this morning,’ he said. ‘It’s an important meeting, as I’ve got to justify the angle I’m taking on the subject.’
    Masako suddenly pointed up at a black cloud that was filling in the skylight with its density as it dragged over. To Jim it looked like Africa being stretched across the sky. One of the little games they shared was to find similarities between the shapes of clouds and geography. It was something they had done all one autumn afternoon, when the cloud arena was constantly changing and being driven by a tail-wind.
    ‘Looks like China,’ he said.
    ‘Mmm,’ Masako concurred. ‘But it could be America. Let’s see what follows it.’
    Jim momentarily lost himself in the game, as he let his mind dissolve into the cloud masses. For a brief time it seemed as though Danny had never existed. The moment was closed to all other associations but those of the game.
    ‘You sure you don’t want to come back tonight?’ Masako asked.
    Jim continued to think on the idea and of the complex set of emotions he felt for Masako. That they were friends had never ruled out the possibilities of a deeper involvement, and he was sufficiently flexible to know that being gay didn’t mean he could only have relationships with men. He enjoyed the romantic undertones to the friendship they shared and the excitement implied by the fact that anything could still happen. Masako was pretty, boyish and possessed the sort of aesthetic sensibility he found so attractive in Japanese girls. A combination of inherited and adopted values, the mix providing a refreshingly new take on life, particularly in a city as historically present as London. It would be easy for him to become involved with Masako, and he had every reason to believe that she would be sympathetic to his continuing relations with men.
    As Masako busied herself with making more tea for them, he had a serious think about coming to stay. A change of address would, he hoped, put Slut and his associates off his trail. He still couldn’t for the life of him think why he should be of any importance to the group. He had witnessed only the preliminaries to thenight and had nothing on the participants. There appeared no reason why he should be singled out in this way, unless, of course, it was Danny’s doing. The shock that his ex could be behind this hit him hard. Although Danny had been cold of late there had been no hint of a break in their relationship.
    When Masako came back into the room, he said, ‘I’ve changed my mind. I’d like to stay here for a few days. It would do me good and help take my mind off things.’
    Masako settled to a mauve cushion on the floor and smiled in her usual taciturn manner. It was a gesture as protective as it was well-meaning. He knew that from habit and was glad in himself that he’d made the decision. He liked her ambience and the delicate signature she had impressed on the studio. There were parrot tulips arranged in a vase on the table, beside a number of books and fashion glossies, the black beret she wore out in the rain and a glass bowl full of Shiseido lipsticks and other items of makeup. Her CD collection was racked in the far corner of the room, and the dynamic generated a feng-shui sensitivity to arrangement and comfort.
    It was raining again in fast sequences. The skylight sounded like someone was bunching tissue paper. April in all its blotchy unpredictability had moved into the city, muddying the river and stripping the parks of blossom. Jim could never find the same comfort in spring rain as he did in its autumn counterpart. There wasn’t the sense of settling in that October rains brought but more a feeling of skittish electric surprise.
    The hot tea was a comfort, while he faced the prospect of having to go out soon to meet his supervisor. A quick fifteen-minute dash through the rain would get