![Boston Boys [01] - A Life Without You](https://fs.ageofbook.com/467589/thumbs/152x264/boston-boys-01-a-life-without-you.jpg)
they can somehow erase or lessen what’s already happened between us. At least he’s being honest with me with his intentions, that he’s still going through with the marriage after college and that I’ll never get my chance. It has to lessen the inevitable blow. Right?
My forehead collides with the notebook on the library desk.
It won’t . It will hurt just as much or even more. If Jesse would just let me hug him once in a while, or hold his hand, or stroke his cheek. That would make me happy. And that wouldn’t be 76 Erica Pike
cheating, would it? It would be more like charity.
Eric is back from his break and slides me a can of energy drink. “Just keep it hidden, okay?” he mouths.
I nod and smile to myself. He’ll do anything to keep me awake. Whatever it takes to cram in more knowledge through my skull, even if it means breaking library rules.
He pretend-coughs loudly while I pop the top and take a swig.
The buzz quickly fizzes to my brain and I’m awake again.
There are not so many people in the library this late, but I’ve been keeping an eye on that Zeke kid ever since he arrived about an hour ago. The light from his laptop screen casts shifting shadows on his white face. I still don’t know what his deal is.
Eric likes to ‘digest’ a little after eating, so he sits back in his chair. ‘ You going to the end of semester party? ’ he writes on a piece of paper.
‘ Nah, I’m staying in ,” I write and lift it up for him to see.
‘ Seriously? A group of us are going to play a prank on the Frat house.
You should come. ’
Eric hates the Frat house. I have no idea why.
‘ I’ve got plans ,” I write.
Eric rolls his eyes and sighs. ‘ Jesse, ’ he writes on his paper and lifts it.
I raise my eyebrows and smile.
‘ Seriously, dude, just give it up. It’s never gonna happen. ’
It already has and I’m still clinging to the hope that it will again, but I can’t tell that to Eric. Instead I shrug and go back to reading. The fact is that Jesse’s going back home for Christmas, but since I really have nowhere to go to, I’m staying in the dorm.
It’ll be quiet since I’m the only one in our dorm staying behind, but at least I can get a head start on next semester’s reading.
Jesse will leave in one short week. He’ll go back to Chirpy to plan their future together some more and probably have lots of sex with her. The thought sends stabs of pain to my stomach.
A Life Without You 77
Eric is holding up a piece of paper. ‘ Snow ,’ it says and I look out the window. Thick flakes of snow fall from the sky. I smile and wonder if Jesse’s looking out the window, too. Maybe I’ll coax him out for a walk tomorrow, if it’s still snowing. I’d love to chuck a snowball at him, or sneak some ice down his back. That wouldn’t look gay to the other students since it’s a guy thing to do.
The wind picks up and whirls the flakes in the air before sending them plummeting to the ground. It looks like there might be a snowstorm. Maybe – hopefully – Jesse will get snowed in and then he’ll have to stay with me over Christmas. That means no sex with Chirpy.
Eric clears his throat and I realize that I’m not even looking at the book anymore.
§ § § §
It’s midnight when I head back to my room. The library is directly across our dorm, so it’s a quick run, but I’m still freezing when I get inside. It doesn’t help that the dorm is cold as well, and I know that my room won’t be much warmer.
I’m still a little hurt by what he said this morning when he argued that a relationship between two guys can’t possibly last like a relationship between a man and a woman. He had no example to give me, because he doesn’t know any other gay people, so all I could pin it down to was prejudice, or ignorance at best. I, unfortunately, couldn’t prove him wrong because I don’t know any gay couples myself. All I know is that I’m sure there must be plenty who are just as
My forehead collides with the notebook on the library desk.
It won’t . It will hurt just as much or even more. If Jesse would just let me hug him once in a while, or hold his hand, or stroke his cheek. That would make me happy. And that wouldn’t be 76 Erica Pike
cheating, would it? It would be more like charity.
Eric is back from his break and slides me a can of energy drink. “Just keep it hidden, okay?” he mouths.
I nod and smile to myself. He’ll do anything to keep me awake. Whatever it takes to cram in more knowledge through my skull, even if it means breaking library rules.
He pretend-coughs loudly while I pop the top and take a swig.
The buzz quickly fizzes to my brain and I’m awake again.
There are not so many people in the library this late, but I’ve been keeping an eye on that Zeke kid ever since he arrived about an hour ago. The light from his laptop screen casts shifting shadows on his white face. I still don’t know what his deal is.
Eric likes to ‘digest’ a little after eating, so he sits back in his chair. ‘ You going to the end of semester party? ’ he writes on a piece of paper.
‘ Nah, I’m staying in ,” I write and lift it up for him to see.
‘ Seriously? A group of us are going to play a prank on the Frat house.
You should come. ’
Eric hates the Frat house. I have no idea why.
‘ I’ve got plans ,” I write.
Eric rolls his eyes and sighs. ‘ Jesse, ’ he writes on his paper and lifts it.
I raise my eyebrows and smile.
‘ Seriously, dude, just give it up. It’s never gonna happen. ’
It already has and I’m still clinging to the hope that it will again, but I can’t tell that to Eric. Instead I shrug and go back to reading. The fact is that Jesse’s going back home for Christmas, but since I really have nowhere to go to, I’m staying in the dorm.
It’ll be quiet since I’m the only one in our dorm staying behind, but at least I can get a head start on next semester’s reading.
Jesse will leave in one short week. He’ll go back to Chirpy to plan their future together some more and probably have lots of sex with her. The thought sends stabs of pain to my stomach.
A Life Without You 77
Eric is holding up a piece of paper. ‘ Snow ,’ it says and I look out the window. Thick flakes of snow fall from the sky. I smile and wonder if Jesse’s looking out the window, too. Maybe I’ll coax him out for a walk tomorrow, if it’s still snowing. I’d love to chuck a snowball at him, or sneak some ice down his back. That wouldn’t look gay to the other students since it’s a guy thing to do.
The wind picks up and whirls the flakes in the air before sending them plummeting to the ground. It looks like there might be a snowstorm. Maybe – hopefully – Jesse will get snowed in and then he’ll have to stay with me over Christmas. That means no sex with Chirpy.
Eric clears his throat and I realize that I’m not even looking at the book anymore.
§ § § §
It’s midnight when I head back to my room. The library is directly across our dorm, so it’s a quick run, but I’m still freezing when I get inside. It doesn’t help that the dorm is cold as well, and I know that my room won’t be much warmer.
I’m still a little hurt by what he said this morning when he argued that a relationship between two guys can’t possibly last like a relationship between a man and a woman. He had no example to give me, because he doesn’t know any other gay people, so all I could pin it down to was prejudice, or ignorance at best. I, unfortunately, couldn’t prove him wrong because I don’t know any gay couples myself. All I know is that I’m sure there must be plenty who are just as
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