The look on his face is a mixture of surprised and pissed off.
“Natty, you know you don’t have to go get a job. You’ve got your writing, and I’ll take care of you financially.” He goes back to preparing his food, like those are just the facts of the matter - end of discussion.
This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell him before I did it. He’s so protective, he’d rather keep me in my comfort zone - away from triggers that could set off one of my episodes - than see me get out, meet new people and try new things. Like a normal twenty-one year old.
Losing my parents has made me realize how short life is, and how closed-off I’ve become from that life.
I need this job. I need friends. I need Nate to understand and let me live. But I don’t want to get mad at him for wanting to protect me. He’s just being the best big brother he knows how to be, but how do I make him see this is a good decision for me?
“Nate, I know you worry about me, and I’m grateful that you want to take care of me, but you can’t protect me from life. I need a life. Getting a little job next door may not be much, but it’s a start, and Calli said I did well today. I’m proud of myself, and I was really hoping you would be too,” I say the last quietly, perhaps subconsciously worried that he won’t be.
His expression softens and he gives me a sad half-smile.
“I am proud of you, Little N. So proud.” Realization seems to dawn on his features, and he continues, “I’m sorry for coddling you, and making you feel like you couldn’t tell me about this before now. If you want to do this, then I won’t stop you. Of course I won’t. Just know that if you need anything, I’m here.”
“I do know that. Thank you, Nate. You really are the best big brother.” I say with relief.
“You bet your ass I am. You’re not such a bad little sister, yourself. Now let’s eat some tacos before they get cold,” he says with a smile, handing me a plate over the breakfast bar. “And let’s talk about how Ryan made pancakes this morning, then guilted me into eating ‘em when I said I was just going to stop in at Calli’s on my way to work.”
My eyes go wide at that, but I remain focused on preparing my tacos, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that Ryan was in on my deception.
“Yeah, let’s talk about how I slaved over a hot stove making breakfast for an ungrateful bastard, who didn’t even care that I’d made four different flavors. Four!” Ryan states with mock-annoyance.
I giggle, which draws the attention of both of them to me, and I glance at Ryan, who’s smiling ruefully.
“Or, let’s talk about how my so-called best friend used four flavors of pancakes to keep me from going down to Calli’s for my usual breakfast this morning, because my sister was keeping her new job a secret from me.” He’s kidding, but the way he’s just laying it all out there is definitely making me feel bad about it. Nothing I don’t deserve.
“Busted!” Ryan whisper-shouts to me. Then, shoving a chip in his mouth, he directs his attention back to Nate. “Don’t get mad at me just ‘cause you missed your regular morning foreplay with Calli.”
Huh?
“My what?!” Nate spits back. He seems taken aback, but I think he’s...blushing. Is something going on between my brother and my boss? That could get so awkward.
“You heard me.” And with a smirk, Ryan grabs his plate of food and retreats to the couch, one of my dad’s beers in his other hand. That makes me smile.
“I have no idea what he’s talking about,” Nate states to me, emphatically.
“Uh-huh,” I respond with an I’ll-believe-you-but-no-one-else-would tone. Taking my plate of tacos and the bag of chips with me, I go to sit next to Ryan in the living room, leaving Nate standing at the breakfast bar with a WTF look on his face.
Ha! Nate and Calli, who’d have thought it?
* * *
We ate dinner together, laughing and joking, and afterward we all pitched in
“Natty, you know you don’t have to go get a job. You’ve got your writing, and I’ll take care of you financially.” He goes back to preparing his food, like those are just the facts of the matter - end of discussion.
This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell him before I did it. He’s so protective, he’d rather keep me in my comfort zone - away from triggers that could set off one of my episodes - than see me get out, meet new people and try new things. Like a normal twenty-one year old.
Losing my parents has made me realize how short life is, and how closed-off I’ve become from that life.
I need this job. I need friends. I need Nate to understand and let me live. But I don’t want to get mad at him for wanting to protect me. He’s just being the best big brother he knows how to be, but how do I make him see this is a good decision for me?
“Nate, I know you worry about me, and I’m grateful that you want to take care of me, but you can’t protect me from life. I need a life. Getting a little job next door may not be much, but it’s a start, and Calli said I did well today. I’m proud of myself, and I was really hoping you would be too,” I say the last quietly, perhaps subconsciously worried that he won’t be.
His expression softens and he gives me a sad half-smile.
“I am proud of you, Little N. So proud.” Realization seems to dawn on his features, and he continues, “I’m sorry for coddling you, and making you feel like you couldn’t tell me about this before now. If you want to do this, then I won’t stop you. Of course I won’t. Just know that if you need anything, I’m here.”
“I do know that. Thank you, Nate. You really are the best big brother.” I say with relief.
“You bet your ass I am. You’re not such a bad little sister, yourself. Now let’s eat some tacos before they get cold,” he says with a smile, handing me a plate over the breakfast bar. “And let’s talk about how Ryan made pancakes this morning, then guilted me into eating ‘em when I said I was just going to stop in at Calli’s on my way to work.”
My eyes go wide at that, but I remain focused on preparing my tacos, not wanting to acknowledge the fact that Ryan was in on my deception.
“Yeah, let’s talk about how I slaved over a hot stove making breakfast for an ungrateful bastard, who didn’t even care that I’d made four different flavors. Four!” Ryan states with mock-annoyance.
I giggle, which draws the attention of both of them to me, and I glance at Ryan, who’s smiling ruefully.
“Or, let’s talk about how my so-called best friend used four flavors of pancakes to keep me from going down to Calli’s for my usual breakfast this morning, because my sister was keeping her new job a secret from me.” He’s kidding, but the way he’s just laying it all out there is definitely making me feel bad about it. Nothing I don’t deserve.
“Busted!” Ryan whisper-shouts to me. Then, shoving a chip in his mouth, he directs his attention back to Nate. “Don’t get mad at me just ‘cause you missed your regular morning foreplay with Calli.”
Huh?
“My what?!” Nate spits back. He seems taken aback, but I think he’s...blushing. Is something going on between my brother and my boss? That could get so awkward.
“You heard me.” And with a smirk, Ryan grabs his plate of food and retreats to the couch, one of my dad’s beers in his other hand. That makes me smile.
“I have no idea what he’s talking about,” Nate states to me, emphatically.
“Uh-huh,” I respond with an I’ll-believe-you-but-no-one-else-would tone. Taking my plate of tacos and the bag of chips with me, I go to sit next to Ryan in the living room, leaving Nate standing at the breakfast bar with a WTF look on his face.
Ha! Nate and Calli, who’d have thought it?
* * *
We ate dinner together, laughing and joking, and afterward we all pitched in
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