just...” I shut my eyes. I didn’t have words for how wrung out I felt.
“I know,” he said simply.
I leaned against him and put my head on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around me, and we stayed that way until I fell asleep.
~
Every muscle in my body had stiffened by the time I awoke. I stretched, groaned, and muttered curses as I crawled out of bed and stumbled toward one of the fires to warm myself. Memories from the day before swept over me in a black wave, and I dropped my head into my hands. There would be no more food from Ivy and Jullia unless they could obtain the proper permits. Until then, we would have even less than we had now. And we already had almost nothing.
Everiss stirred a pot by the fire. She avoided my gaze.
“What is it?” I asked of the bubbling liquid.
Her curls bobbed around her thin cheekbones as she spoke. “Mostly watered gruel with a little rabbit meat for flavor.”
I remembered the tension from the day before. The accusations that I was somehow a creature of unnatural capacity for strength or determination. That I was too hard, too tough. “Everiss...”
“I know we must make do,” she said, her voice brittle. “And I will.”
“I was going to ask if you would like to help me forage for food tomorrow.”
She blinked. She saw the gesture for what it was, an offer of camaraderie as well as a challenge.
“I...”
“If you plan to accompany me, be at the entrance to the Frost tomorrow after noon.” I strode away, leaving her staring after me.
~
Later that afternoon, I made the trek alone to the ruins of the Security Center. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust the others, but I wanted to keep this location a secret. Adam’s old reminder came back to me—what you didn’t know couldn’t be tortured out of you.
I found the entrance of transparent material that led down to the room filled with Watchers. Breathing in deeply, I descended the ramp and confronted the sight of the sleeping monsters.
They didn’t stir as I passed them, though every hair on my body prickled in terror. I reached the door and went into the dark hall. This time, I’d brought a lantern. I lit it, holding the light high to illuminate my passage. I hurried through the darkness to the room where the device waited.
The machine hummed to life beneath my fingertips, and a single sentence blinked on the box in response to my question about aiding the Blackcoats:
Do whatever you can.
ELEVEN
I LEANED AGAINST the crumbling wall of the entrance to Echlos, waiting for Everiss and Gabe. The wind teased the tendrils of hair that had escaped my braid. My cloak, the familiar blue one this time, fluttered around my ankles. I chafed my hands to warm them and squinted across the field at the trees. I doubted the Farther soldiers combing the Frost would come this far, but if they did...
A footstep scraped the ground behind me. I turned.
Everiss.
She met my eyes without flinching. She had pulled back her curly mane into a knot at the base of her neck, and she wore one of Jonn’s ragged blue cloaks that matched mine. She stepped to my side and surveyed the whiteness before us. “Shall we?”
“We’re waiting for Gabe,” I said.
She fiddled with the edge of her cloak. “Are you and Gabe...?” She made a gesture with her hand that meant nothing, but I knew what she was trying to say.
“I don’t know what we are,” I said. “It hasn’t been our top priority as of late.”
“Love is always a top priority,” she said, and blushed.
Now it was my turn to scrutinize her. “What about you and my brother?” The question came out a little sharper than I’d intended.
“He and I—”
But there was a scuffle behind us, and Gabe appeared around the corner. His hair flopped into his eyes, and I noticed the way the sunlight hit the edges and turned them to gold. His mouth tipped sideways in a terse smile. “Ready?”
“Ready,” I said, glad to change the subject
“I know,” he said simply.
I leaned against him and put my head on his shoulder. He wrapped one arm around me, and we stayed that way until I fell asleep.
~
Every muscle in my body had stiffened by the time I awoke. I stretched, groaned, and muttered curses as I crawled out of bed and stumbled toward one of the fires to warm myself. Memories from the day before swept over me in a black wave, and I dropped my head into my hands. There would be no more food from Ivy and Jullia unless they could obtain the proper permits. Until then, we would have even less than we had now. And we already had almost nothing.
Everiss stirred a pot by the fire. She avoided my gaze.
“What is it?” I asked of the bubbling liquid.
Her curls bobbed around her thin cheekbones as she spoke. “Mostly watered gruel with a little rabbit meat for flavor.”
I remembered the tension from the day before. The accusations that I was somehow a creature of unnatural capacity for strength or determination. That I was too hard, too tough. “Everiss...”
“I know we must make do,” she said, her voice brittle. “And I will.”
“I was going to ask if you would like to help me forage for food tomorrow.”
She blinked. She saw the gesture for what it was, an offer of camaraderie as well as a challenge.
“I...”
“If you plan to accompany me, be at the entrance to the Frost tomorrow after noon.” I strode away, leaving her staring after me.
~
Later that afternoon, I made the trek alone to the ruins of the Security Center. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust the others, but I wanted to keep this location a secret. Adam’s old reminder came back to me—what you didn’t know couldn’t be tortured out of you.
I found the entrance of transparent material that led down to the room filled with Watchers. Breathing in deeply, I descended the ramp and confronted the sight of the sleeping monsters.
They didn’t stir as I passed them, though every hair on my body prickled in terror. I reached the door and went into the dark hall. This time, I’d brought a lantern. I lit it, holding the light high to illuminate my passage. I hurried through the darkness to the room where the device waited.
The machine hummed to life beneath my fingertips, and a single sentence blinked on the box in response to my question about aiding the Blackcoats:
Do whatever you can.
ELEVEN
I LEANED AGAINST the crumbling wall of the entrance to Echlos, waiting for Everiss and Gabe. The wind teased the tendrils of hair that had escaped my braid. My cloak, the familiar blue one this time, fluttered around my ankles. I chafed my hands to warm them and squinted across the field at the trees. I doubted the Farther soldiers combing the Frost would come this far, but if they did...
A footstep scraped the ground behind me. I turned.
Everiss.
She met my eyes without flinching. She had pulled back her curly mane into a knot at the base of her neck, and she wore one of Jonn’s ragged blue cloaks that matched mine. She stepped to my side and surveyed the whiteness before us. “Shall we?”
“We’re waiting for Gabe,” I said.
She fiddled with the edge of her cloak. “Are you and Gabe...?” She made a gesture with her hand that meant nothing, but I knew what she was trying to say.
“I don’t know what we are,” I said. “It hasn’t been our top priority as of late.”
“Love is always a top priority,” she said, and blushed.
Now it was my turn to scrutinize her. “What about you and my brother?” The question came out a little sharper than I’d intended.
“He and I—”
But there was a scuffle behind us, and Gabe appeared around the corner. His hair flopped into his eyes, and I noticed the way the sunlight hit the edges and turned them to gold. His mouth tipped sideways in a terse smile. “Ready?”
“Ready,” I said, glad to change the subject
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