Blue Heaven by Joe Keenan Page A

vision as proof from heaven that all my darkest fears will come true, only sooner than I thought they would.
    Passing the newsstand at Ninety-sixth Street I noted the headline on the Post which read TWO SLAIN IN MIDTOWN BLOODBATH and my panic grew. Never mind that my chances of seeing a similar Post headline on any day of the year were about three in five; this one was for me and me alone. 1 walked the rest of the way with my eyes cast downward lest I catch sight of another headline reading GREEDY GAY LYRICIST FOUND DISMEMBERED IN POORLY DECORATED APARTMENT.
    On reaching home and finding the light switch near the door not working again, I all but collapsed with fear at the thought of crossing the darkened room to reach the lamp on the other side. I accomplished the task, however, without encountering a fat Sicilian clutching a yard of piano wire and, slumping into my comfy chair, I breathed heavily for a bit and began to ponder the increasing complexities of the situation. What were the possible rewards? The possible dangers? I thought long and hard and could reach only one conclusion: if I stayed in the syndicate we'd run up against the Mafia and I'd be viciously murdered for my complicity, and if I bowed out Gilbert and Moira would pull it off and make tons of money and I wouldn't see a dime.
    As I sat there paralyzed with indecision my phone rang. I answered and heard the soothing voice of Claire Simmons.
    "When, please, are you going to join the twentieth century and get an answering machine? I've been calling for days and you don't even know because I can't leave a message."
    "Sorry. You want to leave me messages, buy me a machine."
    "Greedyguts. Where have you been hiding yourself?"
    "I've been spending time with Gilbert and Moira."
    "How lucky for you. What's new with them?"
    To which I heard myself reply: "Oh, they've got this insane scheme to swindle their families and I'm sort of helping them with it. I'm either going to make a lot of money or get killed by the Mafia. Can you come over?"
     
     
    Nine
     
    C laire arrived not twenty minutes later and the moment her ample form sailed through the door I felt hope kicking in like warm scotch on a cold night. Claire's one of those brisk, nanny-like women who have a way of immediately taking charge of any situation involving wayward children or adults behaving like same.
    She asked for a cup of tea ("Real tea, please, not herbal. I'm sick of drinking warm meadows") and sipped it thoughtfully as I gave her the facts. To her credit, she didn't once interrupt me with any of the withering comments that must have occurred to her. She waited until I was through, then, fixing me a look of concern, said:
    "Philip, be honest with me-are you on drugs?"
    "No! I couldn't afford to be. Why?"
    "Because I can't think of any other way someone could lose as many brain cells as you seem to have misplaced. How in heaven's name did you let yourself be talked into this demented scheme?"
    "Well, it wasn't that demented to start out with. Gilbert just wanted someone to confide in."
    "And someone to lie through his teeth to everyone you both know."
    "Well, yes, that too."
    "Including me. Don't think I appreciate that. I asked you what he was up to, getting married, and you vowed on your mother's grave-"
    "I'm sorry! What should I have done?"
    "You could have confided. You know I wouldn't have given it away."
    She was right about that. Claire is the only person I know who can be relied upon to keep her mouth shut when asked to. Holly Batterman just loathes her.
    "I'm sorry. I promised Gilbert."
    "Please do yourself a favor and don't make promises to Gilbert. They just get you in trouble."
    "Look, I know you've never liked Gilbert-"
    "That's not true. I've always enjoyed his company. He's funny and very charming when he wants to be. He's also a complete idiot. I've never met anyone so determined to have tons of money and willing to do anything for it except work. One asinine scheme after another!