Blue Colla Make Ya Holla by Aimie Grey, Cat Mason, Chelsea Camaron, Laramie Briscoe, Carian Cole, Seraphina Donavan, Bijou Hunter, Stella Hunter, Christina Tomes
Authors: Aimie Grey, Cat Mason, Chelsea Camaron, Laramie Briscoe, Carian Cole, Seraphina Donavan, Bijou Hunter, Stella Hunter, Christina Tomes
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Joel comes for me. Pete never has sex with me the day before or the day after a fight. Joel, though, after a fight is a guarantee. I have always assumed it was because he didn’t actually fight but needed to work off some pent up testosterone.
Neither man has ever been overly rough with me. They aren’t what I would call gentle, but it has been a far better experience than any other place I have been to.
Maybe it is me. Maybe I have finally come to terms with my life. Either way, sex is sex, and although I don’t find that it feels good, it doesn’t rip me apart painfully like it once did.
Morning comes. The light filters in from my bedroom window.
Dear Diary,
Today is day two thousand one hundred and ninety-one since my mom overdosed. It is day two thousand one hundred and eighty-nine since her dealer sold me to the highest bidder.
Today is six years and a day ago I said goodbye to one prison to fall into another.
At fifteen, I was a mess. At eighteen, I was beyond help. Today is day one thousand ninety six since I tried to run. Today is day two hundred sixty five since my last thought of committing suicide. Today is day three hundred twenty-one since my last attempt at suicide.
Today is day four hundred thirteen with my current owner. Pete lost his match last night. Something isn’t right. My gut is screaming at me something isn’t right. I have certainly been wrong in the past. Let me be wrong today.
Daily reminder-
I will survive another day. I will find hope. One day I will be free. One day I will be me.
Signed,
LoraLeigh Riffel
“Pack up, Annie, everything,” Joel’s voice comes from the other side of my bedroom door. I drop to my knees.
“Dear God in Heaven, if you could lend me your ears, grant me your strength, and give me hope. I want to find it in my heart and in my soul to believe. Dear God, give me something to believe in right now,” I whisper, my sobs to the silent room around me.
I sit there in the middle of the room on my knees, quietly sobbing as the fear of the unknown grips me.
“Grab your shit, Annie. Let’s go,” Joel pounds at my door.
Funny, the one time I don’t care if he walks in and beats the ever loving daylights out of me and he knocks. Life is one cruel joke after another to me. Scrambling, I change into yoga pants and an old t-shirt of one of the guys. Over the years, I have managed to acquire a few articles of clothing, but I have never had much. Pete and Joel have been the only ones to actually go out and purchase clothes for me outside of what I am expected to wear to fights.
Wiping my tears away, I roll my shoulders back and ready myself to face whatever comes next. My pillowcase in hand, filled with my belongings, reminds me of the orphan I am and have been practically my entire life.
When will it end? When will I be free to find me?
Chapter Three
LoraLeigh
‡
A fter a long ride in the car overnight and alone with Joel, I am put out in a strange front yard. I don’t know where I am other than somewhere in Texas. We crossed the state line from New Mexico and I remember the sign.
“Get inside. He has to accept you as payment from Professor. If he doesn’t accept you, Pete’s dead.”
My mind tries to comprehend what he is telling me.
“You get me, Annie?” Joel yells.
Joel never yells. This is serious. I don’t move. I don’t blink. I don’t know what to even think.
“If Pete’s dead, you’re dead Annie. Now get on the porch and get Hitman to take you in.”
Without another word, Joel gets in the car. I make my way to the porch. When I knock there is no answer. I wait on the porch as I look over to see Joel has parked just down the street. Great, no escaping.
What will Hitman be like? I remember him from the final fight. He is tall, muscular, and he has longish blonde hair. He has tattoos over both shoulders, his back, and his chest. I was so caught up in my fears I didn’t take in any details. Will Hitman take the payment? What will
Neither man has ever been overly rough with me. They aren’t what I would call gentle, but it has been a far better experience than any other place I have been to.
Maybe it is me. Maybe I have finally come to terms with my life. Either way, sex is sex, and although I don’t find that it feels good, it doesn’t rip me apart painfully like it once did.
Morning comes. The light filters in from my bedroom window.
Dear Diary,
Today is day two thousand one hundred and ninety-one since my mom overdosed. It is day two thousand one hundred and eighty-nine since her dealer sold me to the highest bidder.
Today is six years and a day ago I said goodbye to one prison to fall into another.
At fifteen, I was a mess. At eighteen, I was beyond help. Today is day one thousand ninety six since I tried to run. Today is day two hundred sixty five since my last thought of committing suicide. Today is day three hundred twenty-one since my last attempt at suicide.
Today is day four hundred thirteen with my current owner. Pete lost his match last night. Something isn’t right. My gut is screaming at me something isn’t right. I have certainly been wrong in the past. Let me be wrong today.
Daily reminder-
I will survive another day. I will find hope. One day I will be free. One day I will be me.
Signed,
LoraLeigh Riffel
“Pack up, Annie, everything,” Joel’s voice comes from the other side of my bedroom door. I drop to my knees.
“Dear God in Heaven, if you could lend me your ears, grant me your strength, and give me hope. I want to find it in my heart and in my soul to believe. Dear God, give me something to believe in right now,” I whisper, my sobs to the silent room around me.
I sit there in the middle of the room on my knees, quietly sobbing as the fear of the unknown grips me.
“Grab your shit, Annie. Let’s go,” Joel pounds at my door.
Funny, the one time I don’t care if he walks in and beats the ever loving daylights out of me and he knocks. Life is one cruel joke after another to me. Scrambling, I change into yoga pants and an old t-shirt of one of the guys. Over the years, I have managed to acquire a few articles of clothing, but I have never had much. Pete and Joel have been the only ones to actually go out and purchase clothes for me outside of what I am expected to wear to fights.
Wiping my tears away, I roll my shoulders back and ready myself to face whatever comes next. My pillowcase in hand, filled with my belongings, reminds me of the orphan I am and have been practically my entire life.
When will it end? When will I be free to find me?
Chapter Three
LoraLeigh
‡
A fter a long ride in the car overnight and alone with Joel, I am put out in a strange front yard. I don’t know where I am other than somewhere in Texas. We crossed the state line from New Mexico and I remember the sign.
“Get inside. He has to accept you as payment from Professor. If he doesn’t accept you, Pete’s dead.”
My mind tries to comprehend what he is telling me.
“You get me, Annie?” Joel yells.
Joel never yells. This is serious. I don’t move. I don’t blink. I don’t know what to even think.
“If Pete’s dead, you’re dead Annie. Now get on the porch and get Hitman to take you in.”
Without another word, Joel gets in the car. I make my way to the porch. When I knock there is no answer. I wait on the porch as I look over to see Joel has parked just down the street. Great, no escaping.
What will Hitman be like? I remember him from the final fight. He is tall, muscular, and he has longish blonde hair. He has tattoos over both shoulders, his back, and his chest. I was so caught up in my fears I didn’t take in any details. Will Hitman take the payment? What will
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