certainly will see this as cheating on him.”
“No, he won’t. He wanted me to sleep with you.”
“Yeah—with him
there.
I see your logic, but trust me, you will not get a free pass because of that.”
“Oh, God. I’ve just made things worse. Now I have to sort out the fight
and
deal with this.”
“Blame it on the vodka. Do you have any Russian in you? I mean, aside from when I’m fucking you . . .”
“Bette, I’m serious! I love Alec. I don’t want to lose him. I think I should just deal with the fight we had tonight, work through that, and then when things are better on that front, tell him that I kind of hooked up with you.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
They both stared at the ceiling.
“You are really hot, by the way,” Bette said, rolling over and kissing her cheek. “I’m going to take a shower and get some sleep. I have to be at the club at noon for Agnes to fit me for a costume, then to practice a new act I’m trying out tomorrow night. Want me to make up the couch for you? Or you can sleep here if you want. I’m not great at sharing a bed, though.”
“The couch would be great,” Mallory said, knowing full well she wouldn’t sleep a wink.
9
M allory tossed her bag on the sofa, and dropped her coat in a heap on top of it.
“Hello? Alec, are you here?”
It was almost eight o’clock at night, and the day of silence between them had been agonizing. She’d called him twice from the office but got his voice mail. She couldn’t wait another minute to finish the conversation that had escalated into a fight, then find a way to move on.
Mallory sank into the sofa, trying to remember the last time she’d been so exhausted. Maybe the night she pulled an all-nighter junior year. Or the first weekend she spent with Alec when she was so excited to be next to him she couldn’t sleep. Last night was the same—she would doze off for a short while, then wake with a start, realizing where she was, her body still feeling the thrill of Bette.
She’d slept on Bette’s couch, under the picture of the redhead. She had dreamt she colored her hair, but it came out bright purple. The firm sent her home for the day and told her not to come back until she looked like a lawyer, so she left, but when she arrived home in the dream, she looked like Bette, and Alec told her he could never be in love with a lesbian.
She heard the key in the door, and Alec walked in, clearly happy to see her.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
He took his time putting his coat in the closet. When he turned to face her, his expression was warm but guarded.
“I’m glad you’re here. We need to talk,” he said.
“I know.”
He crossed the room and pulled her into a hug. It felt so good to be held against him, to breathe his familiar Alec smell, to feel the brush of his lips against her temple.
This is love
, she thought.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said, sitting next to her on the couch. “I was way too harsh. I was thinking about it after you left, and I thought about texting you, but I decided to let us both have the night to cool down. Did you stay at Julie’s?”
“Um, Alec, I really feel bad about last night.”
“It was my fault. I know you’re not a quitter, and if you are this unhappy at the firm, we will talk about it and figure out a way to fix it. I love you—I want you to be as happy in your career as I am in mine. I thought you had that with your law career. It seems impulsive just to change your mind about something after you’ve invested all these years.”
“I know. I’ve thought that too. But until I got into the firm, I had no idea what it really meant to be a lawyer. I love the law; I like the ideas behind it. . . . I liked learning it. I just don’t want to spend my life practicing it. So a part of me is thinking, if I know this now, why spend another five years going down the wrong path? Won’t it just be harder and more of a waste to leave then?”
“What else would
“No, he won’t. He wanted me to sleep with you.”
“Yeah—with him
there.
I see your logic, but trust me, you will not get a free pass because of that.”
“Oh, God. I’ve just made things worse. Now I have to sort out the fight
and
deal with this.”
“Blame it on the vodka. Do you have any Russian in you? I mean, aside from when I’m fucking you . . .”
“Bette, I’m serious! I love Alec. I don’t want to lose him. I think I should just deal with the fight we had tonight, work through that, and then when things are better on that front, tell him that I kind of hooked up with you.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
They both stared at the ceiling.
“You are really hot, by the way,” Bette said, rolling over and kissing her cheek. “I’m going to take a shower and get some sleep. I have to be at the club at noon for Agnes to fit me for a costume, then to practice a new act I’m trying out tomorrow night. Want me to make up the couch for you? Or you can sleep here if you want. I’m not great at sharing a bed, though.”
“The couch would be great,” Mallory said, knowing full well she wouldn’t sleep a wink.
9
M allory tossed her bag on the sofa, and dropped her coat in a heap on top of it.
“Hello? Alec, are you here?”
It was almost eight o’clock at night, and the day of silence between them had been agonizing. She’d called him twice from the office but got his voice mail. She couldn’t wait another minute to finish the conversation that had escalated into a fight, then find a way to move on.
Mallory sank into the sofa, trying to remember the last time she’d been so exhausted. Maybe the night she pulled an all-nighter junior year. Or the first weekend she spent with Alec when she was so excited to be next to him she couldn’t sleep. Last night was the same—she would doze off for a short while, then wake with a start, realizing where she was, her body still feeling the thrill of Bette.
She’d slept on Bette’s couch, under the picture of the redhead. She had dreamt she colored her hair, but it came out bright purple. The firm sent her home for the day and told her not to come back until she looked like a lawyer, so she left, but when she arrived home in the dream, she looked like Bette, and Alec told her he could never be in love with a lesbian.
She heard the key in the door, and Alec walked in, clearly happy to see her.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
He took his time putting his coat in the closet. When he turned to face her, his expression was warm but guarded.
“I’m glad you’re here. We need to talk,” he said.
“I know.”
He crossed the room and pulled her into a hug. It felt so good to be held against him, to breathe his familiar Alec smell, to feel the brush of his lips against her temple.
This is love
, she thought.
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said, sitting next to her on the couch. “I was way too harsh. I was thinking about it after you left, and I thought about texting you, but I decided to let us both have the night to cool down. Did you stay at Julie’s?”
“Um, Alec, I really feel bad about last night.”
“It was my fault. I know you’re not a quitter, and if you are this unhappy at the firm, we will talk about it and figure out a way to fix it. I love you—I want you to be as happy in your career as I am in mine. I thought you had that with your law career. It seems impulsive just to change your mind about something after you’ve invested all these years.”
“I know. I’ve thought that too. But until I got into the firm, I had no idea what it really meant to be a lawyer. I love the law; I like the ideas behind it. . . . I liked learning it. I just don’t want to spend my life practicing it. So a part of me is thinking, if I know this now, why spend another five years going down the wrong path? Won’t it just be harder and more of a waste to leave then?”
“What else would
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