old you-got-two-tens-for-a-five?
Cleanhead cackled again, pleased with himself. Stony debated telling him that they were even, that his old man wasn't dead, but he thought better of it.
"You know what I do? Every other time someone comes into the cab, I try to make up a story on the spot about how come I got a shaved head. Some a those fuckin' stories are fuckin' gems too, an' I never use the same story twice." He burst out laughing. "Yesterday I tell this fuckin' guy my wife useta like me rubbin' my head in her pussy, then she got the clap and all my hair fell out, right? I turn aroun' to see if the guy's laughin' an' I see he's wearin' a priest's collar." Cleanhead hit the steering wheel with the flat of his palm. "Can you beat that? But dig this! You know, I say, 'Hey Jeez, Father, no offense.' I didn't know, but the fuckin' guy is laughin' so hard he didn't even hear me. For a second I thought I was on "Candid Camera.' "
"We had some guys like that at the Mount," Stony said.
"Really? Boy, when I went to school the fuckin' priests, man, you look at them cross-eyed, you got clocked on the head. An' the goddamn nuns were worse. I got a sister that went to Catholic school in Brooklyn. She comes in one day with pierced earrings, some fuckin' nun pulls her outta line an' rips the fuckin' things right outta her ears, can you believe that?"
"So what else is new?" Stony had sixteen million horror stories of his own from those days.
"Them fuckin' fascist penguins is somethin' else, hah? So, anyways, kid, whatta you doin' now? You workin' anywhere?"
"Not yet. I got some bread stashed from when I was doin' summer jobs. I dunno what I'm gonna do yet."
"You got all the fuckin' time in the world, kid. You got some dough? If I was you I'd go to Europe for a couple a months. About ten years ago I had some money. I split for Europe, wound up in Amsterdam. The most incredible fuckin' city in the world. They got this red-light district they call The Wall. Two million hookers but young, nice, blondes like you never seen. Each one sits in a ground-level window with a red light over the door. They got beds right in the window. You.go in, say how do you do, they pull the curtain an' you get laid right in the fuckin' street. The people in the city are nice too. Everybody speaks English."
As Cleanhead talked on, Stony studied the Bronx terrain. He never thought of traveling. The cab pulled into Co-op City.
"Where you goin', babe?"
"You know where the shoppin' center is? Drop me off there."
Stony threw him two-fifty and hopped out of the cab. "Hey, kid." Cleanhead motioned Stony back to the cab. "Here." He handed him a printed calling card and watched Stony's face as he read it:
They know me uptown, downtown, in the Bronx and in Queens.
When folks ride with me, I split their seams.
Behind this wheel, in all my glory
A day doesn't pass without a good story.
I keep alert and on the beam,
Because my head is shiny clean.
So if you can't use a bus and want a cab instead,
Here's my card—just dial cleanhead.
He laughed, slapped Stony on the arm and roared off into the sunset.
***
"For the life of me I can't figure out what happened," Tommy fumed. He sat between Chubby and Stony in the back of the cab they'd hailed at Jacobi.
"I never liked that fuckin' hospital," Chubby said. "How long's he in for?"
"Stony, what'd that doctor say?" Tommy asked.
Stony didn't answer, he just stared straight ahead.
"I just cannot fuckin' understand it. Marie said she woke up when she heard him screamin', ran into his room and he was just like that," Tommy said.
"Maybe he had a nightmare." Chubby lit a cigarette. "Whatta you think, Stones?"
Stony acted as if he didn't hear him.
"What's with him?" Chubby nodded at Stony.
"Poor fuckin' Marie, she's a nervous wreck."
"It's tough for a mother," Chubby said.
"He'll be O.K.," Tommy mused. "That doctor what's-his-name, he looked like he knew his stuff."
"When a' they gonna take that tube out his
Cleanhead cackled again, pleased with himself. Stony debated telling him that they were even, that his old man wasn't dead, but he thought better of it.
"You know what I do? Every other time someone comes into the cab, I try to make up a story on the spot about how come I got a shaved head. Some a those fuckin' stories are fuckin' gems too, an' I never use the same story twice." He burst out laughing. "Yesterday I tell this fuckin' guy my wife useta like me rubbin' my head in her pussy, then she got the clap and all my hair fell out, right? I turn aroun' to see if the guy's laughin' an' I see he's wearin' a priest's collar." Cleanhead hit the steering wheel with the flat of his palm. "Can you beat that? But dig this! You know, I say, 'Hey Jeez, Father, no offense.' I didn't know, but the fuckin' guy is laughin' so hard he didn't even hear me. For a second I thought I was on "Candid Camera.' "
"We had some guys like that at the Mount," Stony said.
"Really? Boy, when I went to school the fuckin' priests, man, you look at them cross-eyed, you got clocked on the head. An' the goddamn nuns were worse. I got a sister that went to Catholic school in Brooklyn. She comes in one day with pierced earrings, some fuckin' nun pulls her outta line an' rips the fuckin' things right outta her ears, can you believe that?"
"So what else is new?" Stony had sixteen million horror stories of his own from those days.
"Them fuckin' fascist penguins is somethin' else, hah? So, anyways, kid, whatta you doin' now? You workin' anywhere?"
"Not yet. I got some bread stashed from when I was doin' summer jobs. I dunno what I'm gonna do yet."
"You got all the fuckin' time in the world, kid. You got some dough? If I was you I'd go to Europe for a couple a months. About ten years ago I had some money. I split for Europe, wound up in Amsterdam. The most incredible fuckin' city in the world. They got this red-light district they call The Wall. Two million hookers but young, nice, blondes like you never seen. Each one sits in a ground-level window with a red light over the door. They got beds right in the window. You.go in, say how do you do, they pull the curtain an' you get laid right in the fuckin' street. The people in the city are nice too. Everybody speaks English."
As Cleanhead talked on, Stony studied the Bronx terrain. He never thought of traveling. The cab pulled into Co-op City.
"Where you goin', babe?"
"You know where the shoppin' center is? Drop me off there."
Stony threw him two-fifty and hopped out of the cab. "Hey, kid." Cleanhead motioned Stony back to the cab. "Here." He handed him a printed calling card and watched Stony's face as he read it:
They know me uptown, downtown, in the Bronx and in Queens.
When folks ride with me, I split their seams.
Behind this wheel, in all my glory
A day doesn't pass without a good story.
I keep alert and on the beam,
Because my head is shiny clean.
So if you can't use a bus and want a cab instead,
Here's my card—just dial cleanhead.
He laughed, slapped Stony on the arm and roared off into the sunset.
***
"For the life of me I can't figure out what happened," Tommy fumed. He sat between Chubby and Stony in the back of the cab they'd hailed at Jacobi.
"I never liked that fuckin' hospital," Chubby said. "How long's he in for?"
"Stony, what'd that doctor say?" Tommy asked.
Stony didn't answer, he just stared straight ahead.
"I just cannot fuckin' understand it. Marie said she woke up when she heard him screamin', ran into his room and he was just like that," Tommy said.
"Maybe he had a nightmare." Chubby lit a cigarette. "Whatta you think, Stones?"
Stony acted as if he didn't hear him.
"What's with him?" Chubby nodded at Stony.
"Poor fuckin' Marie, she's a nervous wreck."
"It's tough for a mother," Chubby said.
"He'll be O.K.," Tommy mused. "That doctor what's-his-name, he looked like he knew his stuff."
"When a' they gonna take that tube out his
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