badly it’s all I can do not to just
take
it.”
“Then look at me, Cian.”
He did as she said, the heat and hunger in those smoldering gray eyes making her feel stripped down to her bare flesh, despite the clothes chafing against her warm skin. In that moment,she could have been wearing freaking Eskimo furs and she still would have felt completely exposed. It was a heady feeling, being the center of such intense focus, and the answering part of her soul gloried in it. Soaked it up like a freaking leaf with sunshine, even though her heart was screaming to be careful...cautious.
“I’m not playing a game,” she told him, working hard to keep her voiceeven. “Yes, I want answers to my questions, and I’m hoping you’ll eventually give them to me. But I want more than that, and I don’t want to wait for it.”
His eyes narrowed, the gray glinting like piercing chips of silver. “Then spell it out for me. In
exact
terms, Sayre.”
She took a deep breath, refusing to let herself break eye contact as she put it all out there. “I don’t want eitherof our emotions involved. And I don’t even know if I want the full sex act. But I...I want everything that leads up to it.”
“No emotions, huh?” It was clear from his tone that he didn’t like hearing that any more than he’d liked some of the other things she’d said to him since he’d suddenly burst back into her life. “Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing where I’m concerned?”
She couldn’t hold back the sharp burst of laughter that rushed up from her chest, her lips twisting with chagrin. “Oh, I
feel
plenty, Cian. Anger being first and foremost the majority of the time, along with a lot of other nasty things like pain and humiliation. But there’s also hunger, and I’m tired of aching for something I can’t find anywhere else. My powers have been keeping me prisoner foryears, but here I am, sitting beside you, and I’m okay. Maybe...maybe if I work you out of my system, things will be different when you leave again. Maybe
I’ll
be different.”
She could tell he hated that idea, as well, but didn’t have an argument for it. And, really, what could he possibly say? That he planned on sticking around this time? That he wanted her in a forever kind of way, justlike her girlish heart had once hoped he would? Even if he tried to sell her on the idea, they both knew it would be a lie.
Without a single word, he tore that heated stare from her face and looked over his shoulder, checking for other cars before he pulled back out onto the road and floored the gas. Disappointment settled heavily in her gut, but she refused to beg. “Is this your answer then?”
“No,” he growled, squeezing the steering wheel so hard she was surprised it didn’t crack. “You want my hands on you, then they’re going to be on you. But that wasn’t the time or place.”
Sayre was half convinced he was simply trying to buy himself some time to think of a way to let her down gently—until she noticed something that made her ridiculously happy.
The hand he’d just shovedback through his hair was actually shaking, and she couldn’t help the small smile that crept its way into the corner of her mouth.
Yeah, this was bound to end badly. And yep, she was most definitely playing with fire. Hell, she had the matches lit and was dancing in the middle of a sea of gasoline, splashing through it like a kid in a puddle. But maybe that was okay.
Maybe—just
maybe
—it was about time she stopped playing it safe, and actually got a little burned.
Chapter 6
B y the time they’d crossed into Maryland, Cian was in a world of pain unlike anything he’d ever known. He took shallow breaths and tried not to draw too much of Sayre’s mouthwatering scent into his lungs, but it was a wasted effort. Now that she’d admitted she still wanted him, there wasn’t any point in trying to keep his hands off her. He was locked on to every singledetail of her, his hunger
take
it.”
“Then look at me, Cian.”
He did as she said, the heat and hunger in those smoldering gray eyes making her feel stripped down to her bare flesh, despite the clothes chafing against her warm skin. In that moment,she could have been wearing freaking Eskimo furs and she still would have felt completely exposed. It was a heady feeling, being the center of such intense focus, and the answering part of her soul gloried in it. Soaked it up like a freaking leaf with sunshine, even though her heart was screaming to be careful...cautious.
“I’m not playing a game,” she told him, working hard to keep her voiceeven. “Yes, I want answers to my questions, and I’m hoping you’ll eventually give them to me. But I want more than that, and I don’t want to wait for it.”
His eyes narrowed, the gray glinting like piercing chips of silver. “Then spell it out for me. In
exact
terms, Sayre.”
She took a deep breath, refusing to let herself break eye contact as she put it all out there. “I don’t want eitherof our emotions involved. And I don’t even know if I want the full sex act. But I...I want everything that leads up to it.”
“No emotions, huh?” It was clear from his tone that he didn’t like hearing that any more than he’d liked some of the other things she’d said to him since he’d suddenly burst back into her life. “Can you honestly tell me that you feel nothing where I’m concerned?”
She couldn’t hold back the sharp burst of laughter that rushed up from her chest, her lips twisting with chagrin. “Oh, I
feel
plenty, Cian. Anger being first and foremost the majority of the time, along with a lot of other nasty things like pain and humiliation. But there’s also hunger, and I’m tired of aching for something I can’t find anywhere else. My powers have been keeping me prisoner foryears, but here I am, sitting beside you, and I’m okay. Maybe...maybe if I work you out of my system, things will be different when you leave again. Maybe
I’ll
be different.”
She could tell he hated that idea, as well, but didn’t have an argument for it. And, really, what could he possibly say? That he planned on sticking around this time? That he wanted her in a forever kind of way, justlike her girlish heart had once hoped he would? Even if he tried to sell her on the idea, they both knew it would be a lie.
Without a single word, he tore that heated stare from her face and looked over his shoulder, checking for other cars before he pulled back out onto the road and floored the gas. Disappointment settled heavily in her gut, but she refused to beg. “Is this your answer then?”
“No,” he growled, squeezing the steering wheel so hard she was surprised it didn’t crack. “You want my hands on you, then they’re going to be on you. But that wasn’t the time or place.”
Sayre was half convinced he was simply trying to buy himself some time to think of a way to let her down gently—until she noticed something that made her ridiculously happy.
The hand he’d just shovedback through his hair was actually shaking, and she couldn’t help the small smile that crept its way into the corner of her mouth.
Yeah, this was bound to end badly. And yep, she was most definitely playing with fire. Hell, she had the matches lit and was dancing in the middle of a sea of gasoline, splashing through it like a kid in a puddle. But maybe that was okay.
Maybe—just
maybe
—it was about time she stopped playing it safe, and actually got a little burned.
Chapter 6
B y the time they’d crossed into Maryland, Cian was in a world of pain unlike anything he’d ever known. He took shallow breaths and tried not to draw too much of Sayre’s mouthwatering scent into his lungs, but it was a wasted effort. Now that she’d admitted she still wanted him, there wasn’t any point in trying to keep his hands off her. He was locked on to every singledetail of her, his hunger
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