Blood & Tacos #3 by Stephen Mertz, Todd Robinson, Rob Kroese, Chris La Tray, Garnett Elliott

make
double
sure they don’t do it on the deck of a boat underneath the Caribbean sun.”
    With a scream of unimaginable agony, flames engulfed Mayan Vampire Hitler ..
    Helga Fuchs made a run for it, trying to get across the gangplank to her own boat and escape.
    Mayan Vampire Hitler gave chase, covered in flames. “
Puta alemana estupido!
”
    As he leapt on her, Helga fired her remaining bullets into the chest of her immolated
Fuehrer
. She screamed as his fiery fangs tore into her flesh. The two of them fell under the canopy in a flaming embrace of death.
    “Daaaamn,” said Cookie. “That is one overcooked Nazi Mayan Vampire Hitler jive turkey.”
    Studs took his bowie back from Cookie and reached down to cut loose the gangplank connecting the boats, when a charred hand slapped onto the railing of the Nazi bitches’ boat and flipped the gangplank into the ocean from their side.
    Laughing hoarsely, Mayan Vampire Nazi Bitch of the Fifth Reich Helga Fuchs stood under the boat canopy, safe from the deadly sunlight. “
Ahhhahahahaha!
You may have won this day, Señor Winslow, but I will return and you will face my Mayan Vampire Nazi wrath!”
    As the boats slowly drifted apart, Studs sighed sadly and shook his head. “What do you think, Cookie? You ready to go shopping for
The Goateed Mollusk V
?”
    “You didn’t,” said Cookie.
    “I activated the failsafe, just in case.” Studs tapped his enormous belt buckle.
    “Do it,” said Cookie, and dove overboard, swimming for the shore.
    “What are you talking about, Señor Winslow?” Mayan Vampire Nazi Bitch of the Fifth Reich Helga Fuchs had stopped laughing, a concerned look drawn over her Mayan Vampire Nazi Bitch of the Fifth Reich face.
    “Bye-bye, Helga,” Studs said as he hit the ruby button on his belt buck two more times and dove over the side of the boat.
    The Goateed Mollusk IV
exploded as the TNT in the hold detonated. The last thing Studs saw before hitting the water was the explosion engulfing and vaporizing the Nazi boat and Mayan Vampire Nazi Bitch of the Fifth Reich Helga Fuchs along with it.
    Studs smiled as he swam towards shore. His smile didn’t last long.
    The giant dorsal fin cut the water ahead of him, heading straight toward Cookie, her wounded foot leading a delicious trail right to her delicious body.
    “Swim, Cookie!” shouted Studs. “Swim!”
    Cookie turned back to see the monster shark bearing down on her. She doubled her effort, but it wasn’t enough to outpace the shark.
    “Nnnnooooooo!” screamed Studs as the great white swallowed Cookie whole and turned towards the greater ocean.
    Studs swam for all he was worth after the great white. On another day, without the physical demands made of his body that the day had already taken, he might have caught the beast.
    But not today.
    Despite his effort, the great white lengthened the distance between them. The despair in Studs’ chest grew over his lost Cookie.
    The great dorsal fin slipped under the surface.
    Studs treaded water, unwilling to give up, unwilling to face defeat even in the face of the hopelessness before him.
    The great white didn’t surface.
    But another fin did.
    The tiger shark was back and circling Studs.
    Studs pulled his knife, ready to take revenge on all of sharkkind for his lost Cookie.
    The shark swam by Studs. It slowed down to look him in the eye.
    This time, their communication was different.
    It wasn’t the predatorial dance of time immemorial.
    No.
    The tiger shark’s eyes said:
The enemy of my enemy is my friend
.
    Studs nodded and grabbed onto his newfound ally’s dorsal fin. In a bolt, the tiger shark was off, carrying Studs with him.
    Under the surface, Studs could see the great white two hundred yards ahead, but they were gaining. The tiger shark was faster and didn’t have a bellyful of Cookie slowing him down.
    One hundred yards.
    Fifty.
    Twenty.
    Then they were right beside the grey-skinned giant. Studs pushed himself off the tiger shark