hide my shaking, because my whole body was racked by it. I didn’t have anything in my stomach, or it would have been decorating the asphalt in front of me, but my insides were doing their absolute best to invert anyway. Grief and shame crawled up my ass, and I couldn’t even make a sound as I shook.
Sensing that their impromptu interview was over, the procession started up again, making way to the new building on the corner. Building 1.
“Frank,” Charlie said from behind me, and I knew she was moving towards me. My internal sensor package told me so. “Are you... Is there anything I can do, baby?”
I probably would have answered, or fallen apart all the way, but a crowd of people had appeared. Nate and Barbara. Bajali and Jayashri. Shawn and Chunhua. They circled around me, expectation heavy on their faces.
“I thought,” Jayashri said, “I heard Frank’s voice.”
“I heard his trademark, ‘What the fuck’,” Shawn added.
“He’s here, in my head,” Chunhua said, tapping herself on the forehead, and crying silently.
I reached back and grabbed Charlie’s calf. I needed the physical contact to ground my emotions long enough to say something.
“I’m back,” I said.
My family of choice rushed in, folded me in their arms, and I fell apart. I have never been so sad and so overwhelmed by love at the same time, before or since. At least I wasn’t the only one crying.
Chapter 9
In my whole lifetime, I’ve never been to a party that started in the morning. The day I “turned on” became a party, and everyone was happier about it than I was. I was haunted.
The scientists had a creature in their possession that could very well be the closure to a promise I made a long time ago. Killing that beast would be the final payment to a dear friend of mine, the man who made my Man Scythe. He would be able to rest, if there’s an afterlife to rest in, and I might be free of the guilt that dogged me for a promise left incomplete.
There was one other person at the fiesta who was at least as haunted as me, but for an entirely different reason. The monkey on his back had a name: Envy. Buttons, when he looked at me from across the room in Building 2’s cafeteria, had darkness in his eyes the likes of which I’ve never seen in another living person. I could have tapped him brain-to-brain and conducted a little Q&A session with him, but the thought of it made my anus twitch.
Breakfast and coffee appeared in the midst of the merrymaking. My stomach required my attention, so I was able to apply myself to the food and take a break from the things that upset me. I’m glad of that, because food tasted better than I remember. Even coffee had a depth and complexity that I’d never been aware of, and it was astounding.
Bajali got up on one of the tables, and I tore my attention away from the maddening delight of butter melting on my tongue to pay attention. Bajali was not the sort of man to stand up on furniture, so it had to be something worth knowing about.
“Everyone! I want to announce I will have the upgrade to our nanotechnology finished today!” He lifted his arms and did a little Rocky Balboa triumph dance on the table. “By tonight, we will not be contagious any longer!”
He continued to dance around to the music of our cheers. I even added my own woots to the chorus, because I was pretty keen on the idea of not being a technological leper.
Jayashri appeared at my side, the side not currently occupied by Charlotte Cooper, and gave me a huge hug. “I am so happy you have returned to us! Although I was beginning to understand the noises you made.” Her smile was radiant, and contagious.
“I know,” Charlie said. “I figured out that ‘ooort’ means ‘bathroom’. I think the facial expressions were the best though.”
“Yes! Remember when I removed the catheter?”
I blushed. They laughed. Bajali arrived, having returned to the world of the floor, and saved me from more
Sensing that their impromptu interview was over, the procession started up again, making way to the new building on the corner. Building 1.
“Frank,” Charlie said from behind me, and I knew she was moving towards me. My internal sensor package told me so. “Are you... Is there anything I can do, baby?”
I probably would have answered, or fallen apart all the way, but a crowd of people had appeared. Nate and Barbara. Bajali and Jayashri. Shawn and Chunhua. They circled around me, expectation heavy on their faces.
“I thought,” Jayashri said, “I heard Frank’s voice.”
“I heard his trademark, ‘What the fuck’,” Shawn added.
“He’s here, in my head,” Chunhua said, tapping herself on the forehead, and crying silently.
I reached back and grabbed Charlie’s calf. I needed the physical contact to ground my emotions long enough to say something.
“I’m back,” I said.
My family of choice rushed in, folded me in their arms, and I fell apart. I have never been so sad and so overwhelmed by love at the same time, before or since. At least I wasn’t the only one crying.
Chapter 9
In my whole lifetime, I’ve never been to a party that started in the morning. The day I “turned on” became a party, and everyone was happier about it than I was. I was haunted.
The scientists had a creature in their possession that could very well be the closure to a promise I made a long time ago. Killing that beast would be the final payment to a dear friend of mine, the man who made my Man Scythe. He would be able to rest, if there’s an afterlife to rest in, and I might be free of the guilt that dogged me for a promise left incomplete.
There was one other person at the fiesta who was at least as haunted as me, but for an entirely different reason. The monkey on his back had a name: Envy. Buttons, when he looked at me from across the room in Building 2’s cafeteria, had darkness in his eyes the likes of which I’ve never seen in another living person. I could have tapped him brain-to-brain and conducted a little Q&A session with him, but the thought of it made my anus twitch.
Breakfast and coffee appeared in the midst of the merrymaking. My stomach required my attention, so I was able to apply myself to the food and take a break from the things that upset me. I’m glad of that, because food tasted better than I remember. Even coffee had a depth and complexity that I’d never been aware of, and it was astounding.
Bajali got up on one of the tables, and I tore my attention away from the maddening delight of butter melting on my tongue to pay attention. Bajali was not the sort of man to stand up on furniture, so it had to be something worth knowing about.
“Everyone! I want to announce I will have the upgrade to our nanotechnology finished today!” He lifted his arms and did a little Rocky Balboa triumph dance on the table. “By tonight, we will not be contagious any longer!”
He continued to dance around to the music of our cheers. I even added my own woots to the chorus, because I was pretty keen on the idea of not being a technological leper.
Jayashri appeared at my side, the side not currently occupied by Charlotte Cooper, and gave me a huge hug. “I am so happy you have returned to us! Although I was beginning to understand the noises you made.” Her smile was radiant, and contagious.
“I know,” Charlie said. “I figured out that ‘ooort’ means ‘bathroom’. I think the facial expressions were the best though.”
“Yes! Remember when I removed the catheter?”
I blushed. They laughed. Bajali arrived, having returned to the world of the floor, and saved me from more
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