it
was because of her that he wanted to
break up. When really, he’d only wanted to be with the other woman. His words
cut her like a knife, it was easy… so
very easy… to just, like, talk to her.
Guilt
cut at her like razors until she was forced to draw her knees up to squelch the
hurt. While Drew might have claimed to have been at fault, she really knew who
was to blame… she was. She should have cut Drew loose long ago, when she’d seen
her first glimpsing. But she’d done exactly the opposite, she’d had sex with
him, for the sole purpose of binding him tighter to her. She’d known what she
was doing… hadn’t had the excuse of being blinding drunk.
Bile
rose up and she swallowed hard to keep it down. Luckily, she’d not really eaten
anything in two days. She’d destroyed all their lives… just like her mother had
ruined her father’s. That her mother had foreseen Ian’s death, she had no
doubt. That’s why her mother had paid up his life insurance policy. Why hadn’t
her mother forewarned her?
But
she knew why, fate was a fickle bitch and no matter what you did to change it,
the end result always came out the same. Her knowing, wouldn’t have protected
Ian, it would have only driven her crazy trying to change his future.
She
brought a shaky fist to her mouth and the sobs which had remained silent, now
rose up from out of the depths of her soul. She cried for the loss of her
father… her mother… Ian… Drew… her belief that she had any control… and lastly,
her belief that she would actually be able to live a normal life.
She
didn’t know how long she lay there with her heart shredding when a sound had her
sitting straight up in her bed. She turned her head and listened carefully,
trying to understand what had caught her attention. A creak in the floorboards
further out in the house had fear lancing through her. Feeling defenseless and
afraid, she did something she’d never done willingly, she closed her eyes, allowing
the aura of the room to fill her mind. She didn’t see anything but darkness.
Frustration roared within her.
She snatched her eyes back opened and strained to see. Not
knowing what else to do she grabbed her cell from the side table, slid from the
bed onto her knees, and made her way to her closet. Noiselessly, she slid the
mirrored closet-doors open and crawled inside, sliding the door back almost
shut.
Trembling violently, she peered through the narrow gap in
the closet door, straining to see anything in the dim light filtering in through
the curtains from the streetlight. Her heart was pounding in the chest. As she
tried to rearrange her position in the closet, the hard case of the cellphone
cut into her hand. Her cellphone . She’d forgotten she’d grabbed
it. Not really being able to see, she hit the redial on her phone and pressed
it to her ear. She tried frantically to remember who’d she had dialed last.
After three rings, she heard Karmyl answer.
In a feather-light whisper, she said, “Karmyl, it’s me.
There’s someone in my house. I think they’re in my bedroom. Please call the
police!”
“What!” she heard Karmyl squawk. It seemed her voice carried
out beyond the closet. Slowly, she clicked the phone off in fear the intruder
would hear it.
She sat perfectly still, listening intently. The longer she
sat in her closet in the dark, the more imbecilic she felt. Maybe she’d not
really heard anything. She began to inch the closet door open… slowly and
carefully… inch by agonizing inch… ensuring it slid smoothly and soundlessly.
The fear of what might lie out there in the near dark made the muscles in her
body feel heavy and stiff. She’d just stuck her head out of the door, when the
dresser’s mirror adjacent to the mirrored closet-doors reflected someone in the
doorway.
Panic nearly made her scream in fright, but she managed to swallow
it back. Slowly, she pulled herself back into her hiding place. Her position in
the closet was both her
was because of her that he wanted to
break up. When really, he’d only wanted to be with the other woman. His words
cut her like a knife, it was easy… so
very easy… to just, like, talk to her.
Guilt
cut at her like razors until she was forced to draw her knees up to squelch the
hurt. While Drew might have claimed to have been at fault, she really knew who
was to blame… she was. She should have cut Drew loose long ago, when she’d seen
her first glimpsing. But she’d done exactly the opposite, she’d had sex with
him, for the sole purpose of binding him tighter to her. She’d known what she
was doing… hadn’t had the excuse of being blinding drunk.
Bile
rose up and she swallowed hard to keep it down. Luckily, she’d not really eaten
anything in two days. She’d destroyed all their lives… just like her mother had
ruined her father’s. That her mother had foreseen Ian’s death, she had no
doubt. That’s why her mother had paid up his life insurance policy. Why hadn’t
her mother forewarned her?
But
she knew why, fate was a fickle bitch and no matter what you did to change it,
the end result always came out the same. Her knowing, wouldn’t have protected
Ian, it would have only driven her crazy trying to change his future.
She
brought a shaky fist to her mouth and the sobs which had remained silent, now
rose up from out of the depths of her soul. She cried for the loss of her
father… her mother… Ian… Drew… her belief that she had any control… and lastly,
her belief that she would actually be able to live a normal life.
She
didn’t know how long she lay there with her heart shredding when a sound had her
sitting straight up in her bed. She turned her head and listened carefully,
trying to understand what had caught her attention. A creak in the floorboards
further out in the house had fear lancing through her. Feeling defenseless and
afraid, she did something she’d never done willingly, she closed her eyes, allowing
the aura of the room to fill her mind. She didn’t see anything but darkness.
Frustration roared within her.
She snatched her eyes back opened and strained to see. Not
knowing what else to do she grabbed her cell from the side table, slid from the
bed onto her knees, and made her way to her closet. Noiselessly, she slid the
mirrored closet-doors open and crawled inside, sliding the door back almost
shut.
Trembling violently, she peered through the narrow gap in
the closet door, straining to see anything in the dim light filtering in through
the curtains from the streetlight. Her heart was pounding in the chest. As she
tried to rearrange her position in the closet, the hard case of the cellphone
cut into her hand. Her cellphone . She’d forgotten she’d grabbed
it. Not really being able to see, she hit the redial on her phone and pressed
it to her ear. She tried frantically to remember who’d she had dialed last.
After three rings, she heard Karmyl answer.
In a feather-light whisper, she said, “Karmyl, it’s me.
There’s someone in my house. I think they’re in my bedroom. Please call the
police!”
“What!” she heard Karmyl squawk. It seemed her voice carried
out beyond the closet. Slowly, she clicked the phone off in fear the intruder
would hear it.
She sat perfectly still, listening intently. The longer she
sat in her closet in the dark, the more imbecilic she felt. Maybe she’d not
really heard anything. She began to inch the closet door open… slowly and
carefully… inch by agonizing inch… ensuring it slid smoothly and soundlessly.
The fear of what might lie out there in the near dark made the muscles in her
body feel heavy and stiff. She’d just stuck her head out of the door, when the
dresser’s mirror adjacent to the mirrored closet-doors reflected someone in the
doorway.
Panic nearly made her scream in fright, but she managed to swallow
it back. Slowly, she pulled herself back into her hiding place. Her position in
the closet was both her
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