It’s like a dream come true. Well, except the part of him telling me to leave after, that is.
I pull my wet shirt over my head and strip down to my underwear. My panties are sticking to my skin , and I’m cold as ice. Damn, he was right. I’m craving for a hot shower.
Jerking away the curtain, I discover a tub shower combo. I hold onto the wall for support as I step inside. I turn on the water and gasp as the hot water falls onto my skin. Stepping under completely, I enjoy the damp heat around me and the water that gushes around me like a warm blanket.
The silence makes me think of everything that happened the last couple of days. So many things cross my mind. Ronnie Keston and the way he kissed Nicole Perelli, my best friend. How I disappeared from my own life to take a break. That I found Jack or rather Jack found me. That we kissed. And boy, those kisses were hot.
I close my eyes and let out a bothered moan. Why do I have to think about these things? Thinking only makes it more difficult to understand, but it does give room for processing. I just don’t know what to do about this situation. Jack and I are obviously attracted to each other, but I’m wondering whether it’s love or pure lust.
I’m sad and depressed from my failed marriage attempt. Jack’s scarred by his past, although I still have no clue what happened to him. Alcohol has become his way to deal with it, though. I wonder if my way of dealing with things is any better. Avoiding pain is never good.
I turn around and lean my head against the wall. I wonder if I’m even in love with Jack. He’s kind, good-hearted, witty and handsome, but still … it’s so quick. It’s too soon to decide. Memories of Ronnie and the pain I’m trying to swallow away endure while I’m trying to forge a new life for myself. Maybe Jack belongs in this new life, and maybe he doesn’t. I don’t know yet. It might be that I’m just using his love to get over Ronnie. That he’s just a rebound and that this is nothing more than a short fling.
Well, whatever it is, I need more time to figure it out. I can’t just leave it like this. I need to find out what I want. If I want to stay here and build a life with him, or if I want to get over my heartbreak and get on with my life. And then there’s the fact that I still haven’t thought about what to do with my career. It’s been on hold ever since I ran away, but I have to find out what to do at some point. Singing is an important part of my life, and I can’t just let it go that easily.
Opening my mouth, I can’t help but let the notes flow out. It’s been such a long time since I last sang a song, and this feels like it needs to get out.
I wish I knew
Knew the words I wanted say to you
If I knew what my heart desired
I’d never let you go
Whatever you are
Wherever you are
I will find you
I will find you
Just a little time is all I need
To find you
I sing soft, so only I can hear it. My voice is raspy in the end. Every word is a shot directly into the heart. I’m pouring my soul out, letting it flow with the water and disappear into the drain. The words mean everything and nothing at the same time, but they draw out emotions I’m afraid to feel.
I can’t do this alone.
I can’t go through these emotions alone.
Turning off the shower, I step out and grab a towel from a stack to the left. When I’ve dried myself, I notice that the only clothes I have lying around here are soaking wet. My eyes widen, realizing what this means. I’ll have to run across the hall to get to my room and put some clothes on.
No way in hell I’m going to do that.
Shit, shit, shit, what should I do? What if little Madeline wakes up all of the sudden and discovers me bolting naked through the hall? Well, that would be a sight. And damn, I’m not ready for Jack seeing my fat ass yet.
I look around and notice that there’s another door to left of the shower. It might lead to a room where I can
I pull my wet shirt over my head and strip down to my underwear. My panties are sticking to my skin , and I’m cold as ice. Damn, he was right. I’m craving for a hot shower.
Jerking away the curtain, I discover a tub shower combo. I hold onto the wall for support as I step inside. I turn on the water and gasp as the hot water falls onto my skin. Stepping under completely, I enjoy the damp heat around me and the water that gushes around me like a warm blanket.
The silence makes me think of everything that happened the last couple of days. So many things cross my mind. Ronnie Keston and the way he kissed Nicole Perelli, my best friend. How I disappeared from my own life to take a break. That I found Jack or rather Jack found me. That we kissed. And boy, those kisses were hot.
I close my eyes and let out a bothered moan. Why do I have to think about these things? Thinking only makes it more difficult to understand, but it does give room for processing. I just don’t know what to do about this situation. Jack and I are obviously attracted to each other, but I’m wondering whether it’s love or pure lust.
I’m sad and depressed from my failed marriage attempt. Jack’s scarred by his past, although I still have no clue what happened to him. Alcohol has become his way to deal with it, though. I wonder if my way of dealing with things is any better. Avoiding pain is never good.
I turn around and lean my head against the wall. I wonder if I’m even in love with Jack. He’s kind, good-hearted, witty and handsome, but still … it’s so quick. It’s too soon to decide. Memories of Ronnie and the pain I’m trying to swallow away endure while I’m trying to forge a new life for myself. Maybe Jack belongs in this new life, and maybe he doesn’t. I don’t know yet. It might be that I’m just using his love to get over Ronnie. That he’s just a rebound and that this is nothing more than a short fling.
Well, whatever it is, I need more time to figure it out. I can’t just leave it like this. I need to find out what I want. If I want to stay here and build a life with him, or if I want to get over my heartbreak and get on with my life. And then there’s the fact that I still haven’t thought about what to do with my career. It’s been on hold ever since I ran away, but I have to find out what to do at some point. Singing is an important part of my life, and I can’t just let it go that easily.
Opening my mouth, I can’t help but let the notes flow out. It’s been such a long time since I last sang a song, and this feels like it needs to get out.
I wish I knew
Knew the words I wanted say to you
If I knew what my heart desired
I’d never let you go
Whatever you are
Wherever you are
I will find you
I will find you
Just a little time is all I need
To find you
I sing soft, so only I can hear it. My voice is raspy in the end. Every word is a shot directly into the heart. I’m pouring my soul out, letting it flow with the water and disappear into the drain. The words mean everything and nothing at the same time, but they draw out emotions I’m afraid to feel.
I can’t do this alone.
I can’t go through these emotions alone.
Turning off the shower, I step out and grab a towel from a stack to the left. When I’ve dried myself, I notice that the only clothes I have lying around here are soaking wet. My eyes widen, realizing what this means. I’ll have to run across the hall to get to my room and put some clothes on.
No way in hell I’m going to do that.
Shit, shit, shit, what should I do? What if little Madeline wakes up all of the sudden and discovers me bolting naked through the hall? Well, that would be a sight. And damn, I’m not ready for Jack seeing my fat ass yet.
I look around and notice that there’s another door to left of the shower. It might lead to a room where I can
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