thrashing around in my eyes as I drove. They were snatched off my face the minute they settled on the bridge of my nose. "Do you mind?"
"Are they prescription lenses?" My eyes narrowed. "You're not driving my car with a visual impairment, Emmeline." So we were back to snapping at each other. Easy come, easy go.
I pulled out of the car park steadily, hands tightly gripped around the steering wheel. It had been years since I'd driven, not that I'd confess as much to Blaze, but the instinct flowed back into me immediately. I'd forgotten how comfortable I felt driving and my thoughts strayed to the Bentley I wouldn't touch. Some twenty-first birthday present that had been — locked away and never taken out onto the road. I couldn't afford the insurance on it anyway, not unless I dipped into my allowance. Hunter would tell you to drive it, the chubby girl whispered from behind me, he'd tell you to swallow your pathetic pride and use the money. Yes, Hunter, remember him? The man you're supposed to love but now you're pining after yet another man who won't have you. I scowled at the road ahead, unable to shake off the annoying voice nagging at me.
The silence between Blaze and I was intolerably present. Both of us trapped in our thoughts, staring blankly ahead, unable to comprehend the turn of events. The tension seemed to wrap around me and tighten like a cobra, tighter and tighter until I snapped. "Talk to me," I gasped, keeping my eyes straight ahead, "talk to me, distract me. Please. I need you to keep my mind busy or..."
"Or what?" He straightened in his seat and I could feel his eyes burning into me with all the heat his name implied.
"Or I don't know if I won't spend the rest of my life trying to avoid you. I can't do it. This." I waved a hand at the space between us. "You know I can't."
"Neither can I, but we're going to. You know that, don't you, Emmeline? We're going to destroy each other and both of us are going to pretend that we're not happy about the damage we're doing. And we're going to deny that we're enjoying taking the damage too." I shook my head to myself, soothed just slightly by knowing that we were on the same wavelength. My feelings for Blaze were easily just as wrong as my feelings for Hunter, but I at least had the satisfaction of knowing that he felt the same. I was going to go down in a blaze of something, certainly not glory, and he would be right there with me, reeling as I was.
"So are you going to distract me or not?" He sighed and shifted in his seat to face me, swinging an arm around his head rest. Did he have much choice if he wanted to keep me around?
"Where are you really from?"
My mouth curved slightly. "Ironically, Cardiff. You've already figured out why I left."
"To become a self-made woman. Did you even try?"
"Of course I tried!" I hissed, affronted.
"Tell me how."
MY BRIEF ACCOUNT of how I'd lived during my four years in London came to an end as I pulled up outside my flat. I knew that he'd asked to hear the tedious tale for no reason other than to provide the distraction I'd requested, and I was grateful that he'd both done it and that it had worked. My nerves were still scattered, but I knew at that point that the path I was going to be walking was not my own. He'd decided for me.
"Thank you," I muttered quietly, cheeks reddening slightly. I wasn't sure what the protocol was for parting ways with a non-committal man who was committing to me.
"For what?" He pulled himself gracefully from the car and walked around the front of it to open my door. "Springing you out of work early, sending you on a scam, the head injury, swindling money from a stiff, lunch, the shopping spree, the sex, letting you drive my car, distracting you or for potentially making both of our lives very difficult for the foreseeable future?"
I gaped at him, taking the hand he offered. It had definitely been an eventful afternoon. "All of it, I suppose."
"Even the latter?" I croaked
"Are they prescription lenses?" My eyes narrowed. "You're not driving my car with a visual impairment, Emmeline." So we were back to snapping at each other. Easy come, easy go.
I pulled out of the car park steadily, hands tightly gripped around the steering wheel. It had been years since I'd driven, not that I'd confess as much to Blaze, but the instinct flowed back into me immediately. I'd forgotten how comfortable I felt driving and my thoughts strayed to the Bentley I wouldn't touch. Some twenty-first birthday present that had been — locked away and never taken out onto the road. I couldn't afford the insurance on it anyway, not unless I dipped into my allowance. Hunter would tell you to drive it, the chubby girl whispered from behind me, he'd tell you to swallow your pathetic pride and use the money. Yes, Hunter, remember him? The man you're supposed to love but now you're pining after yet another man who won't have you. I scowled at the road ahead, unable to shake off the annoying voice nagging at me.
The silence between Blaze and I was intolerably present. Both of us trapped in our thoughts, staring blankly ahead, unable to comprehend the turn of events. The tension seemed to wrap around me and tighten like a cobra, tighter and tighter until I snapped. "Talk to me," I gasped, keeping my eyes straight ahead, "talk to me, distract me. Please. I need you to keep my mind busy or..."
"Or what?" He straightened in his seat and I could feel his eyes burning into me with all the heat his name implied.
"Or I don't know if I won't spend the rest of my life trying to avoid you. I can't do it. This." I waved a hand at the space between us. "You know I can't."
"Neither can I, but we're going to. You know that, don't you, Emmeline? We're going to destroy each other and both of us are going to pretend that we're not happy about the damage we're doing. And we're going to deny that we're enjoying taking the damage too." I shook my head to myself, soothed just slightly by knowing that we were on the same wavelength. My feelings for Blaze were easily just as wrong as my feelings for Hunter, but I at least had the satisfaction of knowing that he felt the same. I was going to go down in a blaze of something, certainly not glory, and he would be right there with me, reeling as I was.
"So are you going to distract me or not?" He sighed and shifted in his seat to face me, swinging an arm around his head rest. Did he have much choice if he wanted to keep me around?
"Where are you really from?"
My mouth curved slightly. "Ironically, Cardiff. You've already figured out why I left."
"To become a self-made woman. Did you even try?"
"Of course I tried!" I hissed, affronted.
"Tell me how."
MY BRIEF ACCOUNT of how I'd lived during my four years in London came to an end as I pulled up outside my flat. I knew that he'd asked to hear the tedious tale for no reason other than to provide the distraction I'd requested, and I was grateful that he'd both done it and that it had worked. My nerves were still scattered, but I knew at that point that the path I was going to be walking was not my own. He'd decided for me.
"Thank you," I muttered quietly, cheeks reddening slightly. I wasn't sure what the protocol was for parting ways with a non-committal man who was committing to me.
"For what?" He pulled himself gracefully from the car and walked around the front of it to open my door. "Springing you out of work early, sending you on a scam, the head injury, swindling money from a stiff, lunch, the shopping spree, the sex, letting you drive my car, distracting you or for potentially making both of our lives very difficult for the foreseeable future?"
I gaped at him, taking the hand he offered. It had definitely been an eventful afternoon. "All of it, I suppose."
"Even the latter?" I croaked
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