alone.”
My heart swelled at his kindness. This was my out if I wanted it. But I’d realized something while we made love. Distancing myself in this way wouldn’t immunize me to heartbreak if our relationship ended. It was too late for that. Our connection terrified me, but I needed it. I needed him.
“Please?” I kissed the corner of his mouth. I got off him and held out my hand. He smiled and took it, letting me lead him to the bed and crawling between the sheets with me.
Dean’s breathing deepened into the slow pattern of sleep almost immediately. I lay there, wide-eyed and full of what ifs, my body begging me for sleep after such an eventful day. Dean’s arms tightened around me. He was mine for the night. Neither of us knew what tomorrow would bring, or even if we’d make it until the end of the week. Perhaps the secret to life is about enjoying the good moments for what they are…moments in time. I let my eyes close and drifted into the worst nightmare I’ve ever had.
10
I lay somewhere cold and damp, pain slamming in my head. The only light I saw in the inky darkness was a square of light somewhere above me. Disoriented, I tried to push myself to a sitting position, but something was wrong. Nothing worked the way it should have. My brain sent signals to my limbs, but they failed to respond. A nightmare. That’s all this is. I tried to wake up and could not. I felt a bolt of pure panic.
As I lay shivering, a figure appeared over me. I tried to speak, to ask for help, but nothing came out other than a mumble. A hot, hard hand grasped my wrist and pulled something off my finger. Then the figure climbed down where I was and began covering me with scoops of something. It peppered over my skin and the fresh, damp scent hit me. Dirt.
A scream built in my chest but stuck there. I needed to let my dream tormentor know I didn’t want to be buried because I was alive. But I felt paralyzed. More moans and mumbles escaped my mouth. The person burying me ignored them. The dirt covered my face, spilling into my mouth. I couldn’t even turn my head to the side to spit it out. Eventually, the dirt covered me all over. Every time I tried to draw a breath, I choked on granules of dirt.
Above, I heard banging and hammering. I prayed for rescue. But then footsteps receded, and I heard a car start. My heart slowed, and I wondered if I could die in a dream and survive in the waking world. That thought scared me enough to wake me up.
I sucked in a loud breath and attempted to sit up. Icy hands pressing on my chest held me down. Whining and gasping, I struggled, but my attacker had the strength of the dead. I swung one arm out, fumbling for the bedside lamp. I clicked it on, and the room flooded with light. Crouched on my chest, her face inches from mine, was Shayne.
“Get away from me.” My terror-stricken voice cracked and crumbled. I pushed at her, but my hands went right through her. I did the only thing I could think of to do. I opened my mouth and screamed so hard it scraped my throat raw.
Dean jerked awake next to me and turned to see what was wrong. He took one look at me struggling underneath nothing, and his mouth fell open, the color draining from his face. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He reached out to touch me but drew back his hand.
“Shayne. She won’t let me up.” At my words, she faded into nothing. I sat up, shaking and gasping, as a flowery scent flooded the room. I bet Shayne wore a perfume like that .
“Where is she?” Dean leapt from the bed, sniffing like a hound. “And where did that smell come from?” He knelt and peered under the bed like a kid afraid of the boogeyman.
Despite the closeness we’d just shared, the old self-doubt seeped into me, poisonous and painful. Is this part of my life too much for Dean? Maybe it’s too much for anybody normal. I drew my knees up to my chest, very conscious of my nakedness between the sheets.
“She’s gone.” My raw throat barely
My heart swelled at his kindness. This was my out if I wanted it. But I’d realized something while we made love. Distancing myself in this way wouldn’t immunize me to heartbreak if our relationship ended. It was too late for that. Our connection terrified me, but I needed it. I needed him.
“Please?” I kissed the corner of his mouth. I got off him and held out my hand. He smiled and took it, letting me lead him to the bed and crawling between the sheets with me.
Dean’s breathing deepened into the slow pattern of sleep almost immediately. I lay there, wide-eyed and full of what ifs, my body begging me for sleep after such an eventful day. Dean’s arms tightened around me. He was mine for the night. Neither of us knew what tomorrow would bring, or even if we’d make it until the end of the week. Perhaps the secret to life is about enjoying the good moments for what they are…moments in time. I let my eyes close and drifted into the worst nightmare I’ve ever had.
10
I lay somewhere cold and damp, pain slamming in my head. The only light I saw in the inky darkness was a square of light somewhere above me. Disoriented, I tried to push myself to a sitting position, but something was wrong. Nothing worked the way it should have. My brain sent signals to my limbs, but they failed to respond. A nightmare. That’s all this is. I tried to wake up and could not. I felt a bolt of pure panic.
As I lay shivering, a figure appeared over me. I tried to speak, to ask for help, but nothing came out other than a mumble. A hot, hard hand grasped my wrist and pulled something off my finger. Then the figure climbed down where I was and began covering me with scoops of something. It peppered over my skin and the fresh, damp scent hit me. Dirt.
A scream built in my chest but stuck there. I needed to let my dream tormentor know I didn’t want to be buried because I was alive. But I felt paralyzed. More moans and mumbles escaped my mouth. The person burying me ignored them. The dirt covered my face, spilling into my mouth. I couldn’t even turn my head to the side to spit it out. Eventually, the dirt covered me all over. Every time I tried to draw a breath, I choked on granules of dirt.
Above, I heard banging and hammering. I prayed for rescue. But then footsteps receded, and I heard a car start. My heart slowed, and I wondered if I could die in a dream and survive in the waking world. That thought scared me enough to wake me up.
I sucked in a loud breath and attempted to sit up. Icy hands pressing on my chest held me down. Whining and gasping, I struggled, but my attacker had the strength of the dead. I swung one arm out, fumbling for the bedside lamp. I clicked it on, and the room flooded with light. Crouched on my chest, her face inches from mine, was Shayne.
“Get away from me.” My terror-stricken voice cracked and crumbled. I pushed at her, but my hands went right through her. I did the only thing I could think of to do. I opened my mouth and screamed so hard it scraped my throat raw.
Dean jerked awake next to me and turned to see what was wrong. He took one look at me struggling underneath nothing, and his mouth fell open, the color draining from his face. “What is it? What’s wrong?” He reached out to touch me but drew back his hand.
“Shayne. She won’t let me up.” At my words, she faded into nothing. I sat up, shaking and gasping, as a flowery scent flooded the room. I bet Shayne wore a perfume like that .
“Where is she?” Dean leapt from the bed, sniffing like a hound. “And where did that smell come from?” He knelt and peered under the bed like a kid afraid of the boogeyman.
Despite the closeness we’d just shared, the old self-doubt seeped into me, poisonous and painful. Is this part of my life too much for Dean? Maybe it’s too much for anybody normal. I drew my knees up to my chest, very conscious of my nakedness between the sheets.
“She’s gone.” My raw throat barely
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