Black Listed by Shelly Bell Page B

state but Alaska, Hawaii, and Utah.”
    His eyes took on a playful glint. “I get Alaska and Hawaii, but why not Utah?”
    She’d never asked, but only one reason made sense. “That’s where my parents were from originally. I guess they didn’t like it very much.”
    â€œWhere was your favorite place?” He settled a hand on her knee, his thumb brushing back and forth. It was such an innocent touch. And yet it was as intimate as if he was touching her between her thighs.
    â€œArizona,” she said automatically. It had nothing to do with the mountain views and the desert climate and everything to do with the fact she’d spent her time there with him. It was the only time in her life she’d ever known true happiness.
    He stilled, it almost appearing as if he didn’t even breathe. Then he squeezed her lower thigh, silently acknowledging the significance of her answer. “You and your brother seem close.”
    Close? Asa was someone she no longer recognized—the best version of himself. He’d become a family man, one who sang in a goddamned church and probably said grace before eating a meal consisting of fresh-off-the-farm chicken and milk direct from a cow. While she had been hiding behind the mousy Lisa Smith persona, he’d gone and found himself a real life. No, she and her brother weren’t close. Not anymore.
    â€œBefore an hour ago, I hadn’t seen him in more than four years,” she said, her heart aching not only for everything she lost, but for every bit of pain she’d caused Asa.
    Processing the information, he brushed his hand over his jaw. “Why not?”
    She stared at the door, indecision warring within her. With her father dead, the threat to Sawyer’s life decreased, but her brother Mitch was still a wild card. If he found her, would he try and carry out their father’s original scheme so that she’d inherit Sawyer’s fortune? Could he be responsible for trashing her condo? She itched to tell Sawyer why she’d left him. But once he learned about the terrible things she’d done, would he still look at her the same way? Or would he only see the criminal she’d been?
    The black list wouldn’t only condemn her father. In the wrong hands, the information written in that journal would land her and her brothers in prison—or even worse, in the hands of those who sought a different kind of revenge against them for the wrongs they’d committed. If it was only about her, she’d go to prison. But Asa had a family now. He’d changed. She’d already hurt him enough. She wouldn’t be responsible for ruining what he’d worked so hard to build.
    Her decision wasn’t easy, but it was the only one she could make. “For the same reason I hadn’t seen you in years. I can’t talk about it.”
    He blew out a breath that sounded like frustration, but to give him credit, he didn’t push her. “You said your father was a bad man. What did you mean by that?”
    A chill went down her spine as if her father’s ghost had floated into the room. Even dead, he terrified her. She turned to Sawyer and caught his gaze, needing him to say the words she couldn’t. “What do you think I mean?”
    His jaw ticked. “He’s the one who hurt you. The one you told me about the night we met.”
    â€œYes.”
    He actually looked pained, his skin pale and his hands trembling. “Did he . . . ?”
    â€œNo,” she reassured him. It had never gotten that far. Although after her mother died, she had been frightened by the way he stared at her sometimes. Not like a father looked at his daughter but like a man looked at a woman. “But when he had a bad day—which was often—he’d use me as his punching bag.”
    Sawyer swore softly under his breath. “And your mother?”
    â€œYou mean, did she come to my defense?” She