deep breath, reached up and grabbed the olympic bar. A quick nudge and all the weight on it bore down on me.
I let it bend my arms and creep down as I breathed in, until my chest met the metal. Then, grunting, I heaved the weight back up overhead. The first couple reps came easy, but soon my arms started to burn.
By the seventh rep, my strength was about dead. Two-fifty was the highest I’d gone. More than that would weigh me down with useless muscle, but today I needed all the presence I could get. I roared out and pushed the weight up inch by inch. I’d just about reached the stand’s hooks, when a pair of milk pale hands finally decided to dash out.
“Phew, that looked intense man,” Silvio said, after guiding the bar back to its seat. He threw me a hand, and I pulled myself upright.
“Give it a shot then,” I said. “Some of the guys here say weed helps them lift. It’s like a game almost.”
“Na, I like to keep it loose.” He waggled his long skinny arms and flapped his ridiculous oversized t-shirt. The guy had never gotten the hint that the nineties were over.
I doubted he’d be able to do much if I actually did need him to pull the weight up, but that was its own sort of inspiration. He was mostly here to help me clean up with the giant meals I ate afterwards. The skinniness was actually impressive when you considered how much he put in.
I took deep gulps of water and wiped myself down with a towel.
“You look tense,” Silvio said, watching me intensely through those reddened eyes. “You want a toke?”
“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”
“Come on, it’ll chill you out before that big dinner interview you got.”
“That’s the reason I can’t smoke, dumbass. That kush you got knocks me out. I’ll be a slurring mess in front of the girl’s dad.”
Silvio face scrunched up into an epiphany. I told him to chill out then took a quick shower in the gym changing room. Even with my muscles blissfully sore and my mind sapped, I still couldn’t truly relax in the hot water.
When I checked myself in the mirror afterwards, I wore a look like I was in a police lineup. I could only think about the trembling voice Gabi had when she called me on the phone to confirm. It was like she was forcing herself to put on a bright face.
Every time I tried to shrug off the whole dinner thing as just another date, it didn’t work. This was about her, but it was almost more for me. It was a chance to show that I’d made it, that I could pass for respectable. If I couldn’t chill, I could at least focus on that.
Silvio and I chowed through massive meatball subs. He offered me tips on looking classy, which were useful if you did the opposite of his suggestions. We ate walking through the streets, and he alternated bites with big puffs of a joint he’d rolled up. Even in the open air, the stuff smelled dank enough to get me high.
“Where do you keep getting shit that’s stronger and stronger?” I asked, batting away smoke.
“Oh, that Jada girl hooked me up. She’s real cool. Too bad she’s taken though. You think I could date her?’
I shook my head. One shared interest didn’t make a relationship. Lack of one didn’t unmake it, either. At least, Gabi and I were starting to find things other than sex, but damn was this thing still fragile. If things went south tonight, I couldn’t see us surviving it.
Maybe that’s what she wanted. I felt numb at the idea, but it wasn’t a bad one. Could be just saving us heartache.
Silvio chilled at my place, but the hours crawled by. I didn’t have anyone to unload this tension on.
There was only one woman in my life who wasn’t Gabi. She wasn’t even all grown, but I rang her up anyway.
“Hey, ho,” Sarah sang as she picked up.
“What’s up, little girl?” I said, already feeling the stress melt off. “Holding the fort?”
“Everything’s green here. What about you?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I just wanted to see if you needed
I let it bend my arms and creep down as I breathed in, until my chest met the metal. Then, grunting, I heaved the weight back up overhead. The first couple reps came easy, but soon my arms started to burn.
By the seventh rep, my strength was about dead. Two-fifty was the highest I’d gone. More than that would weigh me down with useless muscle, but today I needed all the presence I could get. I roared out and pushed the weight up inch by inch. I’d just about reached the stand’s hooks, when a pair of milk pale hands finally decided to dash out.
“Phew, that looked intense man,” Silvio said, after guiding the bar back to its seat. He threw me a hand, and I pulled myself upright.
“Give it a shot then,” I said. “Some of the guys here say weed helps them lift. It’s like a game almost.”
“Na, I like to keep it loose.” He waggled his long skinny arms and flapped his ridiculous oversized t-shirt. The guy had never gotten the hint that the nineties were over.
I doubted he’d be able to do much if I actually did need him to pull the weight up, but that was its own sort of inspiration. He was mostly here to help me clean up with the giant meals I ate afterwards. The skinniness was actually impressive when you considered how much he put in.
I took deep gulps of water and wiped myself down with a towel.
“You look tense,” Silvio said, watching me intensely through those reddened eyes. “You want a toke?”
“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.”
“Come on, it’ll chill you out before that big dinner interview you got.”
“That’s the reason I can’t smoke, dumbass. That kush you got knocks me out. I’ll be a slurring mess in front of the girl’s dad.”
Silvio face scrunched up into an epiphany. I told him to chill out then took a quick shower in the gym changing room. Even with my muscles blissfully sore and my mind sapped, I still couldn’t truly relax in the hot water.
When I checked myself in the mirror afterwards, I wore a look like I was in a police lineup. I could only think about the trembling voice Gabi had when she called me on the phone to confirm. It was like she was forcing herself to put on a bright face.
Every time I tried to shrug off the whole dinner thing as just another date, it didn’t work. This was about her, but it was almost more for me. It was a chance to show that I’d made it, that I could pass for respectable. If I couldn’t chill, I could at least focus on that.
Silvio and I chowed through massive meatball subs. He offered me tips on looking classy, which were useful if you did the opposite of his suggestions. We ate walking through the streets, and he alternated bites with big puffs of a joint he’d rolled up. Even in the open air, the stuff smelled dank enough to get me high.
“Where do you keep getting shit that’s stronger and stronger?” I asked, batting away smoke.
“Oh, that Jada girl hooked me up. She’s real cool. Too bad she’s taken though. You think I could date her?’
I shook my head. One shared interest didn’t make a relationship. Lack of one didn’t unmake it, either. At least, Gabi and I were starting to find things other than sex, but damn was this thing still fragile. If things went south tonight, I couldn’t see us surviving it.
Maybe that’s what she wanted. I felt numb at the idea, but it wasn’t a bad one. Could be just saving us heartache.
Silvio chilled at my place, but the hours crawled by. I didn’t have anyone to unload this tension on.
There was only one woman in my life who wasn’t Gabi. She wasn’t even all grown, but I rang her up anyway.
“Hey, ho,” Sarah sang as she picked up.
“What’s up, little girl?” I said, already feeling the stress melt off. “Holding the fort?”
“Everything’s green here. What about you?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I just wanted to see if you needed
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