Bittersweet Dreams by V.C. Andrews

warned. “Aside from those who were forced into it, I bet there’s not one pregnant teenager who didn’t know the consequences but did it anyway. Regrets come too easy.”
    â€œOkay,” I said. “I get the point.” I just wanted him to stop, not because I didn’t appreciate his concern for me but because he was nudging places in my brain and stimulating thoughts and feelings that frankly frightened me.
    All my life, I felt I had complete control of everything and everyone around me.
    Sex was an area where I knew I might not.
    He shrugged and smiled, holding up his hands. “I’ve done my duty,” he said.
    I thought of all that as I thumbed dreamily through the sex manual I had given Allison. I found the graphic drawings and some of the photographs with detailed explanations more than just interesting. They were fascinating, because I was able to see myself in the drawings and some of the photographs. It was like getting on a roller coaster. I was sure that Allison, even though she was much older than I had been when I learned all this, had similar reactions and feelings.
    Actually, despite how Julie had reacted, I still was hoping that Allison would come to me and we could talk about it, the way two real sisters might, but Julie wasn’t going to let that happen if she had any say about it, especially now. It had gotten to where she was frightened of me herself, not just for Allison. It had been gnawing away at her for some time now. I could feel it. This was why she was at my father so much, demanding that he rein me in as if I were a wild horse, complaining about the influence I could have on Allison. She was champing at the bit to complain every chance she got now, and I was sure she believed she had finally found the in-house scandal big enough to get me severely reprimanded, maybe turn me into a meek and obedient stepdaughter. I braced myself for the inevitable confrontation.
    An hour after he had come home from work, my father was knocking on my door. When I opened it, he just stood there shaking his head, a look of great disappointment on his face.
    â€œOkay, Mayfair, exactly what did you do now? Julie is fit to be tied.”
    â€œNow, there’s a good idea.”
    â€œStop it.”
    â€œShe’s being ridiculous, Daddy,” I said. “I didn’t give Allison a porn magazine, you know.”
    â€œWhat did you give her?”
    â€œI gave her a scientific, informative manual written by a college professor.”
    I went to my bed and got the book. I handed it to him, and he opened it and thumbed through some of it. “Kind of graphic stuff,” he said. “Where did you get it?”
    â€œI bought it over the internet.”
    â€œDidn’t they ask your age?”
    â€œThat’s not a work of pornography, Daddy. It’s a scientific discussion about sex. Besides, what is my age?”
    â€œI’m not talking about your mental age, Mayfair.”
    â€œWhat’s more important? Days? Months? An accumulation of years? There are twenty-year-olds who shouldn’t be driving or drinking and certainly not having unprotected sex and becoming parents.”
    â€œOkay, okay,” he said, handing the book back to me. “I’m not going to debate you about that. However, you have to remember that Julie is Allison’s mother. She should be the one who decides what she reads, not you. You want to give her something, you ask her mother first. Do you understand? Do you?” he followed when I didn’t respond.
    â€œIt’s not brain surgery.”
    â€œDon’t be smart, Mayfair.”
    â€œYou know, there’s an interesting word, Daddy, smart . If someone just overheard you saying that, they’d think you were a bad father. Don’t you want your daughter to be intelligent?”
    â€œStop it, Mayfair.”
    I would have, but I couldn’t stand him always taking Julie’s side, so I