chair. "Good lord. I thought you'd at least call me before you went and blew your entire savings. I could have helped you. We're doing this together. At least, that was the idea."
"Are you really pissed off about this? I wanted to. It was what I wanted. I'm finally getting into this, getting into the whole 'planning a wedding' thing, and now you're pissed off that I made a decision. You're not supposed to see the dress until the actual wedding anyway."
"I know that, but we could have split the difference or something. At least talk to me before you go and spend that much money. I thought that's what couples did?"
"Well, shit. I'm sorry I didn't consult you first. I guess I thought I was old enough to make my own decisions."
"That's not what I meant—"
"Wow, look at that soda dispenser," Jamie said, a little too loudly, getting up for a refill. "They have like, a dozen different kinds of Fanta."
"Jeff, let it go."
"Well, at least call your—"
"If you bring up my mother, I will straight up walk out. For real. I am not calling her to help pay for my wedding."
"Didn't you want your mom to be there when you picked your dress? It's kind of traditional, isn't it?"
"Jeff, you really need to stop pushing this family button, okay? Yeah, maybe it is traditional, but Jamie is more my family than my mom at this stage. Tradition can jump off a cliff. I just want a happy wedding. I don't want my family there. Just you and me and those who really matter. My blood family doesn't matter. Not anymore."
"I know I'm pushing it, but...it's important to me. Family is important to me."
"You're my family. Jamie is my family."
"What about Jared?" Jeff picked at the Cajun-seasoned fries.
"Well, he's been in the Marines since I was, like, sixteen, and he's only spent his leave Stateside, like, three times, ever, so I don't see him at all. He'll message me using the TextMe app every now again, but that's it."
"Where's he stationed?"
"The Philippines. He's been there for...three years? He was in Okinawa first, then Italy."
"What's his MOS?"
"He's an MP."
Jamie had come back to the table but had pretended to be absorbed in her phone. "He's hot. If he lived here, Anna and I would be sisters."
"I thought that was never happening, with anyone."
"For your sexy-ass brother, I might make an exception." She looked up at me and saw my irritated expression. "God, Anna. Kidding. I would never marry Jared. I'd fuck him till he couldn't walk for a week, though."
"JAMIE!"
"Shutting up."
We finished eating, and Jamie and I said our goodbyes. I promised to call her with the next step of our plans. Jeff drove us home, but before we went inside, Jeff spoke up: "So, this dress you picked out."
"You can't see it until I'm walking down the aisle."
"No, I know that, but—
"You want to know how I knew which dress was the right one?"
"Yeah."
"I saw myself like you see me. Just for a second, looking in the mirror. I saw the woman you love, the woman you want." I paused. "Would it be overly dramatic if I said it was kind of a defining moment in my life?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, really. To finally, finally feel my own worth in myself...I can't explain how huge that is for me. Not just through you, or through Chase. But in myself. Actually seeing with my own eyes a woman worth being. Yes, it was a defining moment of my life."
"And I shit all over it, freaking out about the money."
I laughed. "Yeah, you kind of did. But I get it. You couldn't have understood if I didn't tell you. I don't care how much the dress costs. I'd sell my liver if it meant feeling that way again. And yeah, I know it's just one day. I don't care. If you want to pay for it, or split the cost, fine. Whatever. I really do want to do this with you. I'm just...I'm not used to being a couple. To doing things like that together. But I want to."
Jeff's deep brown eyes swept over my face, love radiating from him in palpable waves. "Thanks for telling me."
"I would've eventually. I
"Are you really pissed off about this? I wanted to. It was what I wanted. I'm finally getting into this, getting into the whole 'planning a wedding' thing, and now you're pissed off that I made a decision. You're not supposed to see the dress until the actual wedding anyway."
"I know that, but we could have split the difference or something. At least talk to me before you go and spend that much money. I thought that's what couples did?"
"Well, shit. I'm sorry I didn't consult you first. I guess I thought I was old enough to make my own decisions."
"That's not what I meant—"
"Wow, look at that soda dispenser," Jamie said, a little too loudly, getting up for a refill. "They have like, a dozen different kinds of Fanta."
"Jeff, let it go."
"Well, at least call your—"
"If you bring up my mother, I will straight up walk out. For real. I am not calling her to help pay for my wedding."
"Didn't you want your mom to be there when you picked your dress? It's kind of traditional, isn't it?"
"Jeff, you really need to stop pushing this family button, okay? Yeah, maybe it is traditional, but Jamie is more my family than my mom at this stage. Tradition can jump off a cliff. I just want a happy wedding. I don't want my family there. Just you and me and those who really matter. My blood family doesn't matter. Not anymore."
"I know I'm pushing it, but...it's important to me. Family is important to me."
"You're my family. Jamie is my family."
"What about Jared?" Jeff picked at the Cajun-seasoned fries.
"Well, he's been in the Marines since I was, like, sixteen, and he's only spent his leave Stateside, like, three times, ever, so I don't see him at all. He'll message me using the TextMe app every now again, but that's it."
"Where's he stationed?"
"The Philippines. He's been there for...three years? He was in Okinawa first, then Italy."
"What's his MOS?"
"He's an MP."
Jamie had come back to the table but had pretended to be absorbed in her phone. "He's hot. If he lived here, Anna and I would be sisters."
"I thought that was never happening, with anyone."
"For your sexy-ass brother, I might make an exception." She looked up at me and saw my irritated expression. "God, Anna. Kidding. I would never marry Jared. I'd fuck him till he couldn't walk for a week, though."
"JAMIE!"
"Shutting up."
We finished eating, and Jamie and I said our goodbyes. I promised to call her with the next step of our plans. Jeff drove us home, but before we went inside, Jeff spoke up: "So, this dress you picked out."
"You can't see it until I'm walking down the aisle."
"No, I know that, but—
"You want to know how I knew which dress was the right one?"
"Yeah."
"I saw myself like you see me. Just for a second, looking in the mirror. I saw the woman you love, the woman you want." I paused. "Would it be overly dramatic if I said it was kind of a defining moment in my life?"
"Really?"
"Yeah, really. To finally, finally feel my own worth in myself...I can't explain how huge that is for me. Not just through you, or through Chase. But in myself. Actually seeing with my own eyes a woman worth being. Yes, it was a defining moment of my life."
"And I shit all over it, freaking out about the money."
I laughed. "Yeah, you kind of did. But I get it. You couldn't have understood if I didn't tell you. I don't care how much the dress costs. I'd sell my liver if it meant feeling that way again. And yeah, I know it's just one day. I don't care. If you want to pay for it, or split the cost, fine. Whatever. I really do want to do this with you. I'm just...I'm not used to being a couple. To doing things like that together. But I want to."
Jeff's deep brown eyes swept over my face, love radiating from him in palpable waves. "Thanks for telling me."
"I would've eventually. I
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