so well. Guess I misread it.”
“Thing were going great. You didn’t misread anything.”
“Then what the hell, Jen?”
She’d looked away from the glare he’d shot at her. “I don’t know.” Fresh tears had welled in her eyes.
“Look, we’ve got a long day ahead of us at the track and White River. I still love you, and I hope someday soon you’ll be able to love me back, so for now can we forget last night happened and shelve further conversation about it until we’re back at CIU?”
Jen had nodded. It was a better plan than any she’d been able to think of.
Except D hadn’t shelved the conversation. At every opportunity he’d pulled her aside from the group, asking questions like, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise.”
“Is it that drug dealer Dave guy? Do you still have a thing for him?”
“God no. He’s a jerk.”
“Is it someone else, then?”
“No, D, there’s no one else.”
“Then what is it, Jenny?”
Jen hadn’t been able to make D understand because she herself hadn’t known how she could be so sure her affection for him wasn’t love. She’d doubted herself throughout the day. It hadn’t been until his last question that she’d become once again as certain as she’d been the night before.
“Do you think anybody else can make you as happy as I do?” he’d asked.
David had flashed through her mind. No one had ever accused Jen of being a chameleon with him. Whether she was screaming at him on campus, crying on his shoulder, or simply cracking up at a wretched poem, she was never anything but herself with David. Around D, she’d always felt like she had to pretend to be someone slightly different from who she really was.
When she’d gone looking for a partner to share in that most personal of milestones, David had been the first and only person she’d thought of. Though she’d been scared, she hadn’t hesitated with him like she had with D. The question had made Jen realize what she wanted in a relationship—she needed to be with someone who made her feel the way she did when she was with David.
In the end, she’d had no choice but to break D’s heart. In front of a window overlooking the city lights of Indianapolis, she’d grasped onto his forearm, looked him steadily in the eye, and said, “If I don’t love you by now, I never will. You should find someone else to make happy.”
D’s eyes had sparked as he’d pushed a gust of air out his nose. His gaze had flicked toward the glittering view, away from Jen. “I’ve wasted so much time on you.” Without looking at her, he’d stalked back to the table, glowering as the group settled the tab. He’d stayed in a stony silence through the entire drive to campus. The others had to have noticed the tension between Jen and D, but they’d respected their privacy and made no reference to it. Jen had known she and Big D were officially over when he hadn’t gotten out of the car to help with her bags.
Chapter 12
“I don’t love him, so I broke up with him.” Jen said to David. “It kind of sucked.”
He stared at her, his dark eyebrows knitting together as if he didn’t quite believe what he heard. It was exactly how Jen had felt throughout his confession. The entire day had been a muddled mess of emotions. But standing in that dingy hallway, looking at David, one crystal clear truth pushed itself through her fog. It was a truth she wasn’t sure she was ready to face.
David had said he’d wait for an answer. She’d just broken up with D; he’d just broken up with Ellie. It made sense to let the dust settle on the carcasses of those relationships before jumping into a new one—or an old one, depending on how she looked at it. “David?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t smell so good.”
The tension in his features broke as he chuckled. “Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered.”
“I think before we talk any more, we should get you cleaned
“Thing were going great. You didn’t misread anything.”
“Then what the hell, Jen?”
She’d looked away from the glare he’d shot at her. “I don’t know.” Fresh tears had welled in her eyes.
“Look, we’ve got a long day ahead of us at the track and White River. I still love you, and I hope someday soon you’ll be able to love me back, so for now can we forget last night happened and shelve further conversation about it until we’re back at CIU?”
Jen had nodded. It was a better plan than any she’d been able to think of.
Except D hadn’t shelved the conversation. At every opportunity he’d pulled her aside from the group, asking questions like, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise.”
“Is it that drug dealer Dave guy? Do you still have a thing for him?”
“God no. He’s a jerk.”
“Is it someone else, then?”
“No, D, there’s no one else.”
“Then what is it, Jenny?”
Jen hadn’t been able to make D understand because she herself hadn’t known how she could be so sure her affection for him wasn’t love. She’d doubted herself throughout the day. It hadn’t been until his last question that she’d become once again as certain as she’d been the night before.
“Do you think anybody else can make you as happy as I do?” he’d asked.
David had flashed through her mind. No one had ever accused Jen of being a chameleon with him. Whether she was screaming at him on campus, crying on his shoulder, or simply cracking up at a wretched poem, she was never anything but herself with David. Around D, she’d always felt like she had to pretend to be someone slightly different from who she really was.
When she’d gone looking for a partner to share in that most personal of milestones, David had been the first and only person she’d thought of. Though she’d been scared, she hadn’t hesitated with him like she had with D. The question had made Jen realize what she wanted in a relationship—she needed to be with someone who made her feel the way she did when she was with David.
In the end, she’d had no choice but to break D’s heart. In front of a window overlooking the city lights of Indianapolis, she’d grasped onto his forearm, looked him steadily in the eye, and said, “If I don’t love you by now, I never will. You should find someone else to make happy.”
D’s eyes had sparked as he’d pushed a gust of air out his nose. His gaze had flicked toward the glittering view, away from Jen. “I’ve wasted so much time on you.” Without looking at her, he’d stalked back to the table, glowering as the group settled the tab. He’d stayed in a stony silence through the entire drive to campus. The others had to have noticed the tension between Jen and D, but they’d respected their privacy and made no reference to it. Jen had known she and Big D were officially over when he hadn’t gotten out of the car to help with her bags.
Chapter 12
“I don’t love him, so I broke up with him.” Jen said to David. “It kind of sucked.”
He stared at her, his dark eyebrows knitting together as if he didn’t quite believe what he heard. It was exactly how Jen had felt throughout his confession. The entire day had been a muddled mess of emotions. But standing in that dingy hallway, looking at David, one crystal clear truth pushed itself through her fog. It was a truth she wasn’t sure she was ready to face.
David had said he’d wait for an answer. She’d just broken up with D; he’d just broken up with Ellie. It made sense to let the dust settle on the carcasses of those relationships before jumping into a new one—or an old one, depending on how she looked at it. “David?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t smell so good.”
The tension in his features broke as he chuckled. “Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered.”
“I think before we talk any more, we should get you cleaned
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