Beyond Love Lies Deceit by Melissa Toppen

what I thought was a dream wasn’t a dream at all but a staggering reality.
    My stomach twists violently forcing me to relax back into the pillows and take a few deep breaths. I can’t ever remember feeling so wrecked but wrecked is exactly what I am. Every inch of my body feels the effects from last night, from the alcohol still swimming in the pit of my stomach to the soreness in my limbs from the incredible night I spent in Luke’s arms.
    I turn my head towards Luke who is curled on his side, his arm and leg draped over me as he sleeps peacefully next to me. His face is partially illuminated by a small sliver of light seeping in through the cracked bathroom door which gives him an almost otherworldly glow. I have a feeling he would be beautiful in any light.
    I can’t resist the urge to reach out and run my hand down his face, my fingers catching on the slight stubble that runs along his jawline. This man is perfect; absolutely perfect. There is not one part of him that I don’t find myself completely drawn to. From the way his touch brings me to life, to his crystal blue eyes that seem to look through my very soul.
    When I push his hair away from his forehead, putting his face is on full display, the reality of my situation seems to take hold. Dropping my hand away, the moment is broken by the panic that suddenly constricts my chest and makes it difficult to pull in enough air.
    I grip the sheet below me and try to take a couple of deep breaths. How did I let this happen? The man laying next to me, the man who has completely changed my heart in the matter of one night has no idea who I really am.
    The lines between Allie and Samantha are starting to become obscured by my quickly forming feelings for Luke. I thought I could do this, that I could just walk in and destroy someone else’s life and not look back, but I was naïve to think there would be no additional casualties along the way.
    Honestly, I don’t think I really cared what happened to me at the end of all this. But Luke has changed everything. My priorities are starting to shift and I know that I am in too deep to approach this situation with a clear head.
    Leaning up, I gently slide Luke’s arm off of me and roll to the side as carefully as I can, trying my best not to wake him. When I manage to get his leg off of mine, he shifts slightly but does not wake.
    Gathering my things, I quickly slip out of Luke’s room and into my own, locking the door behind me. I have to get out of here. I have to remind myself what all this is for. Because no matter how much I want this with Luke, I know that it will never work.
    I can’t be Allie Reynolds forever. The girl he thinks I am, she doesn’t exist. What will happen when all that’s left is Samantha? Will he still want me then? I think knowing the answer to that question is just as devastating as the realization that I am going to have to let Luke go.
    I am here for one reason and one reason only. I can’t let myself throw in the towel when I have come so far. Ryan Scott will get what’s coming to him. I have sacrificed everything to make sure that very thing happens.
    Sliding on a pair of dark jeans and a long sleeve black shirt, I grab my boots from beside the bed before quietly exiting my bedroom. Grabbing a piece of paper and pen from the door side table, I scribble Luke a quick note, knowing that as my boss he at least needs to know what I’m doing.
    Dropping it on the sofa table where I know he will see it, I slide on my coat and boots before quietly slipping out of the hotel room and heading downstairs. By the time I step out into the cool morning air, the sun has just broken the horizon giving the sky an almost orange color.
    I snuggle deeper into my jacket and take off down the sidewalk, having no real idea where I am going. All I know is that I need to get away.
    This is where I wish I had someone, anyone, that knew the real me and what I am actually doing here. Someone I could call that could