useful. “I’m so sorry. I love you, but it’s best for both of us if we just split up now and be done with it.”
“How can that be the best thing?” He reached towards her, but she stepped away. “Why let them carry on ruining your life?”
“They’re not just weirdoes, they’re dangerous!” she blurted, and then swore under her breath. He just looked even more confused. “I just need you to let me go. And to forget we were together.”
“Bollocks. Not when you say something like that. We’re going to the police.”
“No, we’re not!”
“You know they have people who specialise in this kind of stuff? Just because your family are religious weirdoes it doesn’t mean they have to ruin your life too. You got away from them once, don’t let them suck you back in.”
This was getting out of hand. The gentle approach wasn’t working, and she could see him escalating it into something horrific. If her family found out about him, they’d…
“Cathy?”
She remembered Elizabeth. How many times had her spiteful sister broken hearts and laughed at the consequences? “I just don’t want to be with you anymore. OK? It’s nothing to do with my family.” She thought back to her mother, how cold she could be. “I just made that stuff up, I just can’t face the thought of… being with you like that.”
He was turning a horrible grey colour. “So you weren’t screwed up at all. You just wanted to string me along?”
“Yes.” She wanted to chew out her own heart.
“Why?”
“Because I thought it was funny.”
His mouth was hanging open. With horror she realised his eyes were glistening. “How could I have been so wrong about you?”
“Probably because you were only thinking about one thing.” She smothered her own thoughts and feelings as she took on the necessary role. “That’s what men are like, isn’t it? Any hole’s a goal?”
“Not me!” he yelled. “Fuck. I wasted a year on you?”
“See? I told you! If it wasn’t what you wanted, it wouldn’t have been a waste!”
“That’s not what I meant!” He ran his hands through his hair. “Why are you being like this? This isn’t you.”
“This is what I’m really like. I… I wanted to see what it was like to go out with a total loser. I’m not going back to a cult.” The words gushed, her brain didn’t engage. “I’m going back to a bloody rich family and they don’t want me to waste my time on sad bastards like you.”
“I’m not a… I could’ve gone out with anyone I wanted!” he yelled.
“Yeah, right! Mr Geek thinks he’s God’s gift to women, now that’s funny!”
“Why are you being such a bitch?”
“Why aren’t you getting it, Josh? You’re not the one who wasted a year, I was. So go on, find all those women desperate to go out with you instead!”
“I bloody well will!”
He didn’t move. He was making this so much harder. Cathy felt a rush of pure fury at the way he just wouldn’t let go. “Well, go on then! I wish you would find them, then I wouldn’t have to look at your sorry face any more!”
Her skin tingled, the sparkling ripple she’d seen in the flat the night before raced out from a spot behind a nearby waste-paper bin, snapped her out of the brutal desire to push him out of her life for his own good.
“Josh–”
“Just… fuck off, Cathy.”
He staggered into the road. She could hear the faerie laughing, tuned into its high pitch. Cathy burst into tears at the sight of his distress, hating herself more than she thought possible, fear and guilt rushing in to replace the anger. But she couldn’t take back what she’d said, and even though she wanted to gouge her own eyes out for hurting him so, it was still better than her family getting hold of him.
She headed for the faerie, hoping to grab it and throttle it until it took back the magic. The evil thing must have been spying on her and there was no way anything the spiteful creature had cast would be good for Josh.
“How can that be the best thing?” He reached towards her, but she stepped away. “Why let them carry on ruining your life?”
“They’re not just weirdoes, they’re dangerous!” she blurted, and then swore under her breath. He just looked even more confused. “I just need you to let me go. And to forget we were together.”
“Bollocks. Not when you say something like that. We’re going to the police.”
“No, we’re not!”
“You know they have people who specialise in this kind of stuff? Just because your family are religious weirdoes it doesn’t mean they have to ruin your life too. You got away from them once, don’t let them suck you back in.”
This was getting out of hand. The gentle approach wasn’t working, and she could see him escalating it into something horrific. If her family found out about him, they’d…
“Cathy?”
She remembered Elizabeth. How many times had her spiteful sister broken hearts and laughed at the consequences? “I just don’t want to be with you anymore. OK? It’s nothing to do with my family.” She thought back to her mother, how cold she could be. “I just made that stuff up, I just can’t face the thought of… being with you like that.”
He was turning a horrible grey colour. “So you weren’t screwed up at all. You just wanted to string me along?”
“Yes.” She wanted to chew out her own heart.
“Why?”
“Because I thought it was funny.”
His mouth was hanging open. With horror she realised his eyes were glistening. “How could I have been so wrong about you?”
“Probably because you were only thinking about one thing.” She smothered her own thoughts and feelings as she took on the necessary role. “That’s what men are like, isn’t it? Any hole’s a goal?”
“Not me!” he yelled. “Fuck. I wasted a year on you?”
“See? I told you! If it wasn’t what you wanted, it wouldn’t have been a waste!”
“That’s not what I meant!” He ran his hands through his hair. “Why are you being like this? This isn’t you.”
“This is what I’m really like. I… I wanted to see what it was like to go out with a total loser. I’m not going back to a cult.” The words gushed, her brain didn’t engage. “I’m going back to a bloody rich family and they don’t want me to waste my time on sad bastards like you.”
“I’m not a… I could’ve gone out with anyone I wanted!” he yelled.
“Yeah, right! Mr Geek thinks he’s God’s gift to women, now that’s funny!”
“Why are you being such a bitch?”
“Why aren’t you getting it, Josh? You’re not the one who wasted a year, I was. So go on, find all those women desperate to go out with you instead!”
“I bloody well will!”
He didn’t move. He was making this so much harder. Cathy felt a rush of pure fury at the way he just wouldn’t let go. “Well, go on then! I wish you would find them, then I wouldn’t have to look at your sorry face any more!”
Her skin tingled, the sparkling ripple she’d seen in the flat the night before raced out from a spot behind a nearby waste-paper bin, snapped her out of the brutal desire to push him out of her life for his own good.
“Josh–”
“Just… fuck off, Cathy.”
He staggered into the road. She could hear the faerie laughing, tuned into its high pitch. Cathy burst into tears at the sight of his distress, hating herself more than she thought possible, fear and guilt rushing in to replace the anger. But she couldn’t take back what she’d said, and even though she wanted to gouge her own eyes out for hurting him so, it was still better than her family getting hold of him.
She headed for the faerie, hoping to grab it and throttle it until it took back the magic. The evil thing must have been spying on her and there was no way anything the spiteful creature had cast would be good for Josh.
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