Between Friends
S
O YOU wanna know how a straight guy like me goes queer? Ill tell you. Of course, if you asked Jules, hed talk your head off how Id never been straight to begin with. Hed also go into this spiel of his about how theres no such thing as straight and gay, or even bi, and that were all just sexual creatures with a variety of inclinations. Whenever he gets on his high horse like that, I remind him that hes never fucked a girl, so hes as gay as they come. He always gets all huffed up and brings up that one time when he ate pussy. It totally doesnt count, if you ask me, as he didnt even get hard doing it. I wouldve. I dont tell him that, though. But back to my story: it all started on the night of Kevs bachelor party, where Jules gave us a lesson that wouldve given Mrs. Putchnik, our high school sex ed teacher, a seizure.
Kevin was the first one of us to get married. Hed been seeing the same girl for like four or five years, and they were crazy about each other, so we all knew it was coming. Kevs always been a serious one, even as a kid. I should know— weve been friends for like forever, since kindergarten.
There was also Johnny and Jon. The “two Js” were fraternal twins, surprising their parents at the hospital. They had been expecting only one. It was some fluke; the doctors got right embarrassed about it. Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski didnt have a second name picked and couldnt agree on one at such short notice. The one kid they expected was gonna be John after his father. So, just to keep things simple, they named the extra boy Jon.
The four of us became fast friends in first grade. My name is Lucas, by the way, but everyone calls me Luke. Kev and I lived on the same block and the Js just one street over. We hung around at each others backyards, pools, and basements growing up. Kev had a little brother, Julian—their parents named him after that Paul McCartney song. Well, I think it was mostly Mrs. Reids pick. Jules was a right little pest, always wanting to hang around us. He was only two years younger, but thats a big difference when youre a kid. We ditched him whenever we could, but he was a tenacious little fucker. Then there was Kev, who was just too damn responsible even back then, so if Mrs. Reid told Kev to take Jules, then we took the snot-nosed little brat with us.
Now, Mrs. Reid never told us to be nice to Jules, and I cant say we were. I must admit we were pretty tough on the kid. Nothing awful, before you get the wrong idea. No, what we did was we told him if he wanted to hang with the big boys, he had to keep up, because we werent gonna slow down for anyone. He was a scrawny little thing, so youd think—we did, anyhow—hed learn his lesson and stay at his mums apron. Not Jules, though. Did I mention he was tenacious? Yeah, I think I did. Stubborn as a damn mule too. He never complained either, never snitched when we got into trouble. So after a while we just gave in to the fact that there was no getting rid of Jules. For some reason, he followed me around even more than his own bro. Being the only one without a sibling, I kinda liked it. It made me feel older, more important. Of course, I never told him that.
For pretend brothers, we didnt look much alike. The others came from mostly Irish and Polish stock. I got some Irish in me, but Im Italian on my mothers side and always stood out with my dark hair in their sea of blond and light brown. I totally got a kick out of it when Jules looked at me with those huge blue eyes, like I was something special. All that just because I taught him how to ride a two-wheeler or something simple like that. He even tried to copy me. I remember the time he spent a whole day lying in the sun to get his pale skin darker, like mine. All he got was a wicked sunburn. We were peeling dead skin off him for days. Of course, as we were getting older, the age difference got less important, but Jules still liked hanging around me just the same.
The thing you have to
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