Bettie Page Presents: The Librarian by Logan Belle

consider this. “That’s what’s holding you back?”
    She nodded. There were probably many other things holding her back, things she didn’t want to analyze right then and there. But if the workplace excuse would get her off the hook, she was happy to run with it.
    Sebastian took her hand and pulled gently so she took two steps closer to him. He looked at her with such intensity she had to glance away, heart pounding. He kissed the back of her hand, and she looked at him in surprise.
    And then he walked out of the room.
    â€¢
    Regina stretched out on her bed, the novel she was reading propped up on her chest. She had been staring at the same page, the same sentence, for five minutes.
    Outside, rain pelted the window, a hard summer shower that would leave the warm air smelling like wet concrete. She pulled back her curtain, watching the water create rivulets on the glass.
    She wondered if she’d made a mistake earlier that day in the Trustees Room. Had she been too much of a coward? Maybe she deserved the smallness of her life. A few months ago, she had worn her seriousness and her self-containment as a badge of honor. And in Philadelphia, she’d never felt as if playing it safe had a cost. She had studied hard, worked odd jobs, and saved money; she’d dated but never let herself get too distracted or involved. She had everything under control.
    But she realized that, ever since she’d moved to New York, she’d been so busy controlling her life, she was failing to live it. And now she’d blown her chance with the most unbelievable man she’d ever met—or ever would meet, probably.
    Her mother wasn’t even around to make her feel guilty for going out. She had no one to blame but herself.
    â€œWant to watch a movie On Demand?” Carly called to Regina from the living room. Carly, still reeling from the betrayal by her “boyfriend” Rob, was uncharacteristically home alone.
    â€œSure,” Regina said. She wasn’t getting any reading done, anyway.
    She hopped out of bed, put the book on her nightstand, and made her way to the living room. Carly was curled up on the couch in her uniform of black yoga pants and a tank top. She was intently pointing the remote control at the television, scrolling through the list of available films.
    â€œCan I ask you something?” Regina said.
    â€œSure,” Carly said absently.
    â€œYou kind of hinted the other night that maybe things went badly with Rob because of a decision you made—or something you did?”
    Carly shrugged. “I wasn’t in my right mind that night. Really, it’s his problem that he can’t commit. We, as women, always blame ourselves. But they’re the ones with the problem.”
    â€œOkay, forget that.” Regina thought, but did not say, that maybe Carly’s behavior at times didn’t seem very committed to him. “Let’s say, in some way, it was kind of your fault. Would you try to fix it, or would you just let it go and chalk it up as ‘not meant to be.’ ”
    â€œFirst of all, there’s no ‘meant to be.’ There’s ‘make it happen.’ Does that help?”
    Regina nodded. Maybe she was losing it, but Carly was starting to make a lot of sense. She even sounded—dare she think it—wise. She was like a bitchy blond Yoda.
    The front door buzzed.
    â€œIs Derek coming over?” Regina asked.
    Carly looked at her like she had suggested it was Santa Claus paying a visit. “I told you, Derek was just a placeholder until I got Rob. No Rob, no need for Derek.”
    This did not make sense to Regina. So much for Yoda.
    Carly dragged herself off of the couch and pressed the intercom buzzer.
    â€œWho is it?”
    â€œSebastian Barnes.” Regina heard his voice crackle through the static of the intercom. “Please send Regina down.”
    Carly looked at her, wide-eyed and stifling a laugh. She