everything else that was going on in my life, or
just about time, I had no idea. When I returned his kiss, it was my way of
confirming that I wanted this too. As much as I knew how to want something for
me.
We undressed each other the rest of the way. Before he tossed his pants
to the side, he reached into his pocket to fish out a condom and smiled proudly
before he ripped it open and slowly rolled it on. As he lowered himself on top
of me, all the frenzy of just a few moments before was gone. The intensity in
his face was still there, but his movements had changed from frenetic to tender
as he studied me. He traced my cheek again with his forefinger, dragging it
slowly down my chest to my nipple, around and around, and then down my stomach
until it got to its final destination. He used both hands to push my thighs
wide and then slid one finger up and down to open me up and then slowly slid it
in, making me moan. He pulled it out and licked the length of it before rubbing
himself against me. He paused and looked at me one more time to make sure
before slowly entering.
It had been so long since I’d had a man inside me, I gasped. Once again
with Dr. Rosenberg, I was sober, so nothing was numbed, neither physically nor
mentally.
“Oh my God, Stephanie.” He moaned as he slowly slid in and out letting
both of us get used to each other. I rubbed my hands down his back, enjoying
the feel of his skin, as he continued moving. Slowly, he increased the pace,
all the while never taking his eyes off of me. I couldn’t return his gaze, it
was too much too intense, so I looked down and watched our two bodies move
together. I got lost in watching it, us, mesmerized by how sexy it was and how
good it felt. I couldn’t believe the sensations. It never felt this good
before. Not even close.
“You like how it looks?”
Once again, his voice startled me. I nodded, somehow embarrassed.
He leaned down and watched as he slid in and out before he turned his
face back to mine and kissed me. “Me too.”
He pulled me up to him and shifted so that he was sitting and I was
straddling him. Facing him like this once again made me feel so bare, so
exposed. It sounds ridiculous that making eye contact with him felt more
intimate than what our bodies were doing, but it did. I’d spent so many years
being so disconnected from the men I was with that doing this, during the day,
in the light, without any drugs or alcohol made me feel so much more than just
the physical sensations.
Then he put his hands on my hips and started guiding me up and down as
I ground myself on him until he hit some ridge inside me. As soon as I felt it,
I knew, and apparently so did he as he kept hitting it over and over. I felt my
body tingling all over, felt this incredible wave come over me as my head
lolled and the wave kept building and building, but as it kept growing, as the
intensity of everything I was feeling continued to rise, so too did all my
emotions. As the tingling increased and the sensations built I started to feel
the tears prick my eyes. My emotions were coming just as fast and strong as
what I realized was my first orgasm ever via sex with a man. I couldn’t stop
any of it. The tingling and the shaking and the crying finally all crashed over
me as I came like I had never come before, sobbing and shaking, my whole body
wracked with what felt like every emotion and feeling possible. Sounds came out
of me that I didn’t even recognize as it seemed like liquid poured out of every
orifice I had. Snot was dripping from my nose, my tears were streaming, and I
squirted something all over Dr. Rosenberg’s lap. And as I continued to come,
Dr. Rosenberg grunted and growled his release. If I was a screwed up basket
case, he was a rabid animal, groaning and pulling at my hips like he was trying
to exorcise a demon.
When my body finally stopped shaking I opened my eyes and looked at him
in shock. Unfortunately, he returned the look. As intense as that just
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