at her for a while, conscious of the nervousness her silence was creating. Linda stood perfectly still. Only the fruit bowl in her hands was shaking.
‘Well, it’s like this . . . it’s a bit difficult to talk about but . . . I still wanted to do it for Axel’s sake.’
She fell silent again, resting in her advantage.
‘It’s just that . . . we’re having a few problems at home right now, Henrik and I, and I thought it would be good if you heard about it, with regard to Axel, I mean. I don’t know how aware he is but . . . in any case I do know how much he relies on you here at day-care, and it will probably be even more important for a while until we’ve managed to sort all this out.’
Linda’s eyes searched the room in the hope of finding something to fix her gaze on.
‘I see.’
I see? Weren’t you the one who was so damned fantastic to talk with?
‘I just wanted to tell you this, for Axel’s sake.’
‘Sure. Naturally.’
They stood motionless. It was clear that Linda wanted nothing more than to be allowed to leave. Maybe this was how they found each other. Realised that they shared the same improbable cowardice, always wanting to flee from anything that could be considered a real conversation.
Eva held her fast with her gaze.
‘What a nice jumper you’re wearing, by the way.’
Linda looked down at her jumper as if she had never seen it before.
‘Thanks.’
Yes, little Linda. Now you’ve got a little something to wonder about.
‘Will you tell Axel that I’ll wave to him in the window?’
‘Of course.’
‘And thanks for listening.’
She smiled and put her hand confidingly on Linda’s forearm.
‘It feels so good to be able to tell you this. I’m sure that everything will work out. Every marriage has its ups and downs from time to time.’
She smiled, and maybe that’s what Linda was trying to do as well.
‘We’ll come to get him at four as usual.’
She kept her hand on Linda’s arm a moment too long before she turned to go.
He still wasn’t awake when she got home. The door to the bedroom was closed, and she continued into the kitchen and put on some coffee. She had called in to work from her mobile. It was a serious flu she had come down with, and the doctor had given her a sick note, so it was probably best if Håkan took over her project for a while.
She took out the guest bed with the fold-down legs that had been a wedding present from Cissi and Janne. It was still in its original box and had barely been used.
Never before had an idea been so clear, so pure, so utterly free of hesitation and doubt. There was only a single driving force, and it was so powerful that it shoved everything else aside, justified every step she took, every thought.
One step at a time. It was the here and now that mattered. The future that she wanted no longer existed, he had taken it away from her.
Now she just had to see to it that he lost the future he wanted too.
And he wouldn’t even know what hit him.
She finished making up the guest bed and stopped outside the bedroom door. She tried to smile a few times to practice her expression, but she mustn’t overdo it. She had to try to behave like the Eva he thought he knew, the one who existed twenty hours ago, or else he would be suspicious.
She pressed down the handle with her arm and pushed open the door with her foot. He was awake and raised himself up on his elbow.
‘Good morning.’
He didn’t reply.
Didn’t you hear me say good morning, you fucking pig?
He lay silent, staring at her as if it were a sharp axe and not a tray she held in her hands.
‘What’s that?’
She took a step into the room.
‘It’s called breakfast in bed.’
She was at his side and resisted the temptation to dump the hot coffee in his face. He sat up and she carefully set the tray over his legs.
‘You don’t have to worry, I don’t intend to seduce you. I just want to talk a little.’
She smiled into the darkness, well aware that
‘Well, it’s like this . . . it’s a bit difficult to talk about but . . . I still wanted to do it for Axel’s sake.’
She fell silent again, resting in her advantage.
‘It’s just that . . . we’re having a few problems at home right now, Henrik and I, and I thought it would be good if you heard about it, with regard to Axel, I mean. I don’t know how aware he is but . . . in any case I do know how much he relies on you here at day-care, and it will probably be even more important for a while until we’ve managed to sort all this out.’
Linda’s eyes searched the room in the hope of finding something to fix her gaze on.
‘I see.’
I see? Weren’t you the one who was so damned fantastic to talk with?
‘I just wanted to tell you this, for Axel’s sake.’
‘Sure. Naturally.’
They stood motionless. It was clear that Linda wanted nothing more than to be allowed to leave. Maybe this was how they found each other. Realised that they shared the same improbable cowardice, always wanting to flee from anything that could be considered a real conversation.
Eva held her fast with her gaze.
‘What a nice jumper you’re wearing, by the way.’
Linda looked down at her jumper as if she had never seen it before.
‘Thanks.’
Yes, little Linda. Now you’ve got a little something to wonder about.
‘Will you tell Axel that I’ll wave to him in the window?’
‘Of course.’
‘And thanks for listening.’
She smiled and put her hand confidingly on Linda’s forearm.
‘It feels so good to be able to tell you this. I’m sure that everything will work out. Every marriage has its ups and downs from time to time.’
She smiled, and maybe that’s what Linda was trying to do as well.
‘We’ll come to get him at four as usual.’
She kept her hand on Linda’s arm a moment too long before she turned to go.
He still wasn’t awake when she got home. The door to the bedroom was closed, and she continued into the kitchen and put on some coffee. She had called in to work from her mobile. It was a serious flu she had come down with, and the doctor had given her a sick note, so it was probably best if Håkan took over her project for a while.
She took out the guest bed with the fold-down legs that had been a wedding present from Cissi and Janne. It was still in its original box and had barely been used.
Never before had an idea been so clear, so pure, so utterly free of hesitation and doubt. There was only a single driving force, and it was so powerful that it shoved everything else aside, justified every step she took, every thought.
One step at a time. It was the here and now that mattered. The future that she wanted no longer existed, he had taken it away from her.
Now she just had to see to it that he lost the future he wanted too.
And he wouldn’t even know what hit him.
She finished making up the guest bed and stopped outside the bedroom door. She tried to smile a few times to practice her expression, but she mustn’t overdo it. She had to try to behave like the Eva he thought he knew, the one who existed twenty hours ago, or else he would be suspicious.
She pressed down the handle with her arm and pushed open the door with her foot. He was awake and raised himself up on his elbow.
‘Good morning.’
He didn’t reply.
Didn’t you hear me say good morning, you fucking pig?
He lay silent, staring at her as if it were a sharp axe and not a tray she held in her hands.
‘What’s that?’
She took a step into the room.
‘It’s called breakfast in bed.’
She was at his side and resisted the temptation to dump the hot coffee in his face. He sat up and she carefully set the tray over his legs.
‘You don’t have to worry, I don’t intend to seduce you. I just want to talk a little.’
She smiled into the darkness, well aware that
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