myself. She turns her phone
off sometimes when she’s in class. I’m just being paranoid…stupid…Sabrina was a
big gossip! She didn’t know what she was talking about and when I found Emma I
was going straight over there and punching Sabrina in the face for upsetting me
like this. I started walking to the dorm. I felt like I was in a fog…or a bad
dream. The world was happening around me, but it didn’t seem real. As I crossed
the campus courtyard I realized that people were staring at me. Why are they
staring at me? I reached up and touched my face. It was saturated with tears
that I hadn’t even realized I was crying. Why am I crying? This isn’t real!
Emma is not dead!
I passed the people who were staring at me and even
a few who were trying to talk to me. I ignored them all. I just wanted to be
alone, so I could process this and figure out why people would even consider
the possibility that Emma was dead. That was ridiculous…wasn’t it? I made it to
my room and locked myself inside. I sat down on the bed and looked at my phone.
The last text I had from Emma was after I’d text her, telling her I really
didn’t feel well, and I needed to study and wouldn’t be able to go out. She had
text me back and said, “Okay, but all work and no play makes Alexa a dull girl. Love ya !”
I hadn’t even text back that I loved her too. Why?
It would have taken me two seconds…or less . Oh God!
What if she was dead? What if I had that one last chance to be with her, or to
tell her I loved her too and I had let it pass? The tears were running down the
side of my neck now. I had to find some tissue…or just lie down on the bed and
let them soak into the pillow…which was what I did. I lay there for a while,
crying and shaking, rolled into a fetal position and I imagined what her family
must be going through. Shit! Her family! I grabbed the
phone and called my dad.
He picked it up on the first ring and said, “Alexa
honey, I was just going to call you…” Dad’s voice was husky, like he was trying not to cry.
“It’s true?”
“Yeah baby. I’m so sorry.”
I let myself sob out loud then and my dad just sat
quietly and let me. When I could speak again I said, “Do her parents know?”
“Yeah, I’m headed over there now,” he said.
“Oh God, Daddy! Oh God!”
“I know baby. Do you want me to come and get you?”
“I need to be home.”
“I know honey. I have to go see Emma’s parents and
see if there is anything I can do. Then I’ll be there, okay?”
I’m not sure if what I said sounded like okay to him
or not. To my ears it was just another strangled cry. I dropped back down onto
the bed and sobbed. My poor Emma. I couldn’t
understand why. She was so young…It’s just not fair!
CHAPTER
TWO
IAN
I got to the gym at seven and started my routine.
The owner of the gym was an old prize fighter and he and I got along really
well. He also set up a lot of the MMA competitions I entered, and he knows how
important my routine is to me. People leave me alone here, and that’s how I
liked it. I did my work-out on my own three days a week without a trainer. The
other two days I worked with my trainer and we worked on my foot work or my
ground game or boxing or he set up a sparring session for me.
I started learning how to fight when I was sixteen.
I had a friend whose father was a UFC fighter for a while, before he got too
strung out on drugs to remember his moves. He went through rehab and one or two
in jail before finally cleaning up his act and deciding to help other guys
become fighters. He’d converted his garage into a gym and he knew everyone on
the circuit so he could not only produce fighters, he could get them into
competitions too. His son and I were the same age and he trained us, just for
fun. He didn’t want his son in that world, and that was probably a good thing,
because my friend Ronnie was more of a lover than a fighter. Me on the other
hand…I loved it and Ronnie’s
off sometimes when she’s in class. I’m just being paranoid…stupid…Sabrina was a
big gossip! She didn’t know what she was talking about and when I found Emma I
was going straight over there and punching Sabrina in the face for upsetting me
like this. I started walking to the dorm. I felt like I was in a fog…or a bad
dream. The world was happening around me, but it didn’t seem real. As I crossed
the campus courtyard I realized that people were staring at me. Why are they
staring at me? I reached up and touched my face. It was saturated with tears
that I hadn’t even realized I was crying. Why am I crying? This isn’t real!
Emma is not dead!
I passed the people who were staring at me and even
a few who were trying to talk to me. I ignored them all. I just wanted to be
alone, so I could process this and figure out why people would even consider
the possibility that Emma was dead. That was ridiculous…wasn’t it? I made it to
my room and locked myself inside. I sat down on the bed and looked at my phone.
The last text I had from Emma was after I’d text her, telling her I really
didn’t feel well, and I needed to study and wouldn’t be able to go out. She had
text me back and said, “Okay, but all work and no play makes Alexa a dull girl. Love ya !”
I hadn’t even text back that I loved her too. Why?
It would have taken me two seconds…or less . Oh God!
What if she was dead? What if I had that one last chance to be with her, or to
tell her I loved her too and I had let it pass? The tears were running down the
side of my neck now. I had to find some tissue…or just lie down on the bed and
let them soak into the pillow…which was what I did. I lay there for a while,
crying and shaking, rolled into a fetal position and I imagined what her family
must be going through. Shit! Her family! I grabbed the
phone and called my dad.
He picked it up on the first ring and said, “Alexa
honey, I was just going to call you…” Dad’s voice was husky, like he was trying not to cry.
“It’s true?”
“Yeah baby. I’m so sorry.”
I let myself sob out loud then and my dad just sat
quietly and let me. When I could speak again I said, “Do her parents know?”
“Yeah, I’m headed over there now,” he said.
“Oh God, Daddy! Oh God!”
“I know baby. Do you want me to come and get you?”
“I need to be home.”
“I know honey. I have to go see Emma’s parents and
see if there is anything I can do. Then I’ll be there, okay?”
I’m not sure if what I said sounded like okay to him
or not. To my ears it was just another strangled cry. I dropped back down onto
the bed and sobbed. My poor Emma. I couldn’t
understand why. She was so young…It’s just not fair!
CHAPTER
TWO
IAN
I got to the gym at seven and started my routine.
The owner of the gym was an old prize fighter and he and I got along really
well. He also set up a lot of the MMA competitions I entered, and he knows how
important my routine is to me. People leave me alone here, and that’s how I
liked it. I did my work-out on my own three days a week without a trainer. The
other two days I worked with my trainer and we worked on my foot work or my
ground game or boxing or he set up a sparring session for me.
I started learning how to fight when I was sixteen.
I had a friend whose father was a UFC fighter for a while, before he got too
strung out on drugs to remember his moves. He went through rehab and one or two
in jail before finally cleaning up his act and deciding to help other guys
become fighters. He’d converted his garage into a gym and he knew everyone on
the circuit so he could not only produce fighters, he could get them into
competitions too. His son and I were the same age and he trained us, just for
fun. He didn’t want his son in that world, and that was probably a good thing,
because my friend Ronnie was more of a lover than a fighter. Me on the other
hand…I loved it and Ronnie’s
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