water. “Did they do or say something to make you feel like you were in danger? Scare you? Or was it just having realised that there might be more to the three of you than fucking?”
BEND
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“The last one,” Annabelle whispered. “And I don’t think…I’ve never done the whole relationship thing, and it was like being kicked in the gut by a horse. I swear something broke loose in me and I knew they wanted more than sex. I wanted more than sex. Somehow they managed to get under my skin, in here,” she thumped her chest. “I’ve always been so careful, but they slipped right in and I ran. And now they probably hate me and I can’t blame them.”
Josh placed a glass in front of her then sat beside her. He took her hand in one of his and tipped her chin up with the other. “Why don’t you do ‘the whole relationship thing’?”
Annabelle managed to look at him even as her heart thudded in her chest. Her fight or flight was kicking in again, and she tensed her muscles against the need to get up and flee.
That was what had led to this whole miserable week in the first place. And the answer was an easy one she’d been aware of ever since she could remember.
“Same reason as most people who avoid them, I reckon. Parent issues, watching my parent’s marriage implode under my father’s need to control every single thing my mother did or thought. Seeing the bruises on her face and arms when she didn’t cave to him.
Watching her pack and leave us there with that bastard!”
“She left you and Rory there? What kind of—” Josh squeezed her hand. “Did y’all ever hear from her after that?”
“No, she just…left. I looked for her, when I got to go away to college.” Annabelle sat back, tugging her hand away from Josh’s. “Couldn’t find a trace of her, but she knew where we were.”
“Annabelle?” Josh waited until she wiped her eyes, smudging tears she hadn’t realised where spilling over. “Lots of people leave, whether it’s by choice or not. My parents died when I was a kid. Justin wasn’t much more than a kid himself. He could have sent me off to live with some relatives, or let me go into foster care, but he didn’t. Justin gave up a chance for an education, a chance to be a kid, really, him and Evan both. They raised me and made sure I had a good home and got an education. Some people leave, but some people stay, too.”
“I know that in my head, I do, but I think about how controlling my father was, how everything had to be his way—”
“And that doesn’t sound a little bit familiar?” Josh asked, and Annabelle was so shocked by the revelation she couldn’t do more than stare at him. “I’m not saying you’re as BEND
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bad as your father, you aren’t a cruel person, but you do try to keep everything in your life just so. Anything that shakes that up sends you running.”
“Fuck.” Why hadn’t she ever seen that? Had she chosen to emulate her father’s stringent control rather than risk being a victim like her mother? It was simplified and something a child might see as the only two options available, and Annabelle had a sinking feeling that’s exactly what she’d done.
“Your father’s alone now, isn’t he? Completely?”
“Yeah, he is,” Annabelle admitted. “I get it, okay? If I keep being a controlling, uptight bitch I’m gonna end up alone and miserable.”
Josh snorted. “I wouldn’t put it like that, exactly, but yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know any other way to be, Joshie. I always thought I was being strong. I never realised…” And maybe she never would have if Josh hadn’t cared enough to shove her into seeing it. “So what do I do?”
“Well,” Josh scratched his chin and sighed. “I don’t know the answer to that for sure, but I think part of it is like being addicted to something. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. After that, probably you need to start figuring
BEND
Bailey Bradford
70
“The last one,” Annabelle whispered. “And I don’t think…I’ve never done the whole relationship thing, and it was like being kicked in the gut by a horse. I swear something broke loose in me and I knew they wanted more than sex. I wanted more than sex. Somehow they managed to get under my skin, in here,” she thumped her chest. “I’ve always been so careful, but they slipped right in and I ran. And now they probably hate me and I can’t blame them.”
Josh placed a glass in front of her then sat beside her. He took her hand in one of his and tipped her chin up with the other. “Why don’t you do ‘the whole relationship thing’?”
Annabelle managed to look at him even as her heart thudded in her chest. Her fight or flight was kicking in again, and she tensed her muscles against the need to get up and flee.
That was what had led to this whole miserable week in the first place. And the answer was an easy one she’d been aware of ever since she could remember.
“Same reason as most people who avoid them, I reckon. Parent issues, watching my parent’s marriage implode under my father’s need to control every single thing my mother did or thought. Seeing the bruises on her face and arms when she didn’t cave to him.
Watching her pack and leave us there with that bastard!”
“She left you and Rory there? What kind of—” Josh squeezed her hand. “Did y’all ever hear from her after that?”
“No, she just…left. I looked for her, when I got to go away to college.” Annabelle sat back, tugging her hand away from Josh’s. “Couldn’t find a trace of her, but she knew where we were.”
“Annabelle?” Josh waited until she wiped her eyes, smudging tears she hadn’t realised where spilling over. “Lots of people leave, whether it’s by choice or not. My parents died when I was a kid. Justin wasn’t much more than a kid himself. He could have sent me off to live with some relatives, or let me go into foster care, but he didn’t. Justin gave up a chance for an education, a chance to be a kid, really, him and Evan both. They raised me and made sure I had a good home and got an education. Some people leave, but some people stay, too.”
“I know that in my head, I do, but I think about how controlling my father was, how everything had to be his way—”
“And that doesn’t sound a little bit familiar?” Josh asked, and Annabelle was so shocked by the revelation she couldn’t do more than stare at him. “I’m not saying you’re as BEND
Bailey Bradford
71
bad as your father, you aren’t a cruel person, but you do try to keep everything in your life just so. Anything that shakes that up sends you running.”
“Fuck.” Why hadn’t she ever seen that? Had she chosen to emulate her father’s stringent control rather than risk being a victim like her mother? It was simplified and something a child might see as the only two options available, and Annabelle had a sinking feeling that’s exactly what she’d done.
“Your father’s alone now, isn’t he? Completely?”
“Yeah, he is,” Annabelle admitted. “I get it, okay? If I keep being a controlling, uptight bitch I’m gonna end up alone and miserable.”
Josh snorted. “I wouldn’t put it like that, exactly, but yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know any other way to be, Joshie. I always thought I was being strong. I never realised…” And maybe she never would have if Josh hadn’t cared enough to shove her into seeing it. “So what do I do?”
“Well,” Josh scratched his chin and sighed. “I don’t know the answer to that for sure, but I think part of it is like being addicted to something. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. After that, probably you need to start figuring
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