Being Eloise (An Erotic Romance Collection, Books 1-3) by Eloise Spanks

inseam, one hand staying there a little too long—not exactly groping or anything, but uncomfortable to me. She tapped the measurements into her phone and without looking up, she asked, “You planning another trip to Maria?”
    “I don’t know,” I said.
    “She’s very thorough. Lots of these girls, they don’t pay enough attention to the whole picture. A couple hairs on smooth skin looks worse than a full bush.” She touched my arm and smiled. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that. To each her own.”
    I nodded.
Grandmother, ha.
    She rested her phone on the table and reached for her half-finished coffee. I’d begun buying premium coffee just for her visits.
    “So, I was at the cafe today and spoke to your Terrance.”
    “He’s not
my
Terrance,” I said, followed by, “He’s back?”
    She nodded, slurped loudly, then put the mug down. It was a little embarrassing to see her drinking from my mugs - she had the fancy china and I had crude mugs with chips in the rims. The tip of Olivia’s tongue came up to rest a moment on her upper lip.
    “I’ve heard he’s got a big one,” she said.
    “Excuse me?”
    “His schlong,” she said, and grabbed her own crotch. She had five or six months to become a grandmother. She had a tough regimen ahead of her, but maybe she could get there if she could stop doing things like this.
    “How would you know?” I asked.
    “Oh, girls talk.
Is
it large?”
    “It’s fine,” I said.
    “Fine?”
    “Sure. I mean, I suppose.”
    Olivia frowned at me and I felt about sixteen.
    “It’s just…” I began. “Well…I’ve told you.”
    “Out with it,” Olivia said. “I’ve shown you ours, show me yours. Just know that’s not our regular fare. We’re vanilla too. Without our little play he needs a little pill to help him out, if you know what I mean. Now, share and share alike.”
    “He’s great. Terrance is. I mean, he’s way too young for me…”
    “Nonsense. If I weren’t married, I’d be on college freshmen.”
    “Olivia!”
    “Sophomore?”
    “You’re going to be a grandmother,” I reminded her.
    “Yes, but back to Terrance’s schlong.”
    “I wish you wouldn’t call it that,” I said.
    “Cock? Dick? Fuckstick?”
    “That’s worse.”
    “Johnson? Rod?”
    “Not any better.”
    “Schlong, then.”
    “Whatever,” I said.
    It was snowing outside. I wish I had something to do: shoveling snow or chopping firewood if I had a fireplace and an axe and was into that kind of thing. I wasn’t comfortable with this kind of talk. I never was, not even in high school or college. I found it…well,
icky
for lack of a better word.
    “Comes too soon? Too rough? Too tender? Out with it.”
    “That’s the problem.”
    “All of the above?”
    “The out with it part. We still haven’t actually…done it. In that way. Maybe when I see him again. It’s been weeks.”
    Olivia picked up her phone. I was hoping she was becoming bored. She scrolled around and put the phone down again. “I have ten minutes till I have to leave for an appointment. Go on.”
    I sighed. “He still insists on pleasuring
me
only. Orally.”
    Olivia moved closer to my chair and put a hand on my knee. “He must be getting something out of it. Men don’t do that for nothing.”
    I shrugged my shoulders. “He says he loves it.”
    “So everything is good, then.”
    “I need…I’d like more. The whole nine yards.”
    “Please, girl. It can’t be that big.” She laughed at her joke. “And what happened to not wanting to be selfish?”
    “I know,” I said.
    “You want the schlong. Say it.”
    I sighed. “I want the schlong. I want Terrance’s long schlong. I haven’t even seen the damn thing.”
    Olivia laughed and I did too. It was ridiculous. The situation, this conversation. The Whole. Nine. Yards.
    “So,” Olivia began, “the question is: can a woman be fulfilled with a younger man who has a taste for pussy but won’t do anything else? What’s the