Behind the Strings by Courtney Giardina Page B

you think you’ve found them, you realize they only want you because they’re infatuated with this fantasy they’ve created in their head of what could be. They want the bright lights, the red carpets, and the fancy cars. They only want to be there while you’re on top, and when you haven’t gotten a gig in a while and you don’t know how you’re going to pay your rent at the end of the month and the glamor they thought they signed up for is gone, they’re walking out the door, leaving you to pick up the pieces. You don’t know who you can trust. Not everyone has the best of intentions, but you , Celia, you love music the way I do. I see the passion for it in your eyes. You get it. You give me a reason to believe something real is still out there.”
    “The glamor…some people, they can’t live without it. I’m sorry that you know what that feels like,” I said, staring at him blankly.
    “It’s taught me to hold on to the loyal ones, that’s all. I’m a little leery now, but I haven’t lost all faith yet.” The way his voice rose at the end of that sentence I could tell he was trying to lighten things up, but his words were all too real to me. My mind was clouded with the sadness and tears of my mother that I had seen countless times. She was never anything but alone, and even through the strength that she always showed me, I could see the pain.
    “Music for me is a double-edged sword,” I said, looking down. “I’ve never loved anything more, but it’s also the one thing that has caused me an incredible amount of pain.” I felt a single tear stream down my cheek.
    “Hey, hey, hey,” he said, reaching out to console me. I felt his hands fold around mine, but I couldn’t let him continue to see me like this. I was fighting back sadness in my eyes and I needed to get out of there. I pulled away.
    “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
    “Celia…” his voiced raised as I walked away from him.
    I pulled the door back open and went inside. Jesse didn’t follow. He stood there in the back parking lot and watched me go. I couldn’t handle anymore of tonight. I scanned the bar until I found Logan. He had just finished up a conversation with his manager by the time I got to him. I hugged him again as a couple cameras flashed in our direction.
    “I’m so proud of you,” I said to him.
    “Thank you. And thank you for coming tonight. It means a lot to me.”
    It was a moment I knew he had dreamed of pretty much his whole life. All the stages, the road trips, the late-night songwriting sessions and guitar lessons all led up to this. With all the years we spent apart I was glad I was able to be here for it. That smile wouldn’t be leaving his face anytime soon. I, on other hand, was leaving his party and I hoped he could understand.
    “Are you sure everything’s okay?” he asked.
    “Absolutely. I’ve been working a lot of late hours and I think it’s catching up to me, that’s all. I’m exhausted.”
    “All right,” he said, hugging me goodbye, “I’ll check on you in the morning. Be careful getting home.”
    I nodded and turned toward the door, but I wasn’t fast enough. An innocent, friendly gesture had caught the eye of none other than Hunter Jennings. He had fled his way through the crowd of people and called out Logan’s name right as I was about to leave.
    “Logan, how about a picture with you and your girlfriend?” he said.
    He lifted the camera up and waited. I could see the annoyance in Logan’s eyes. This was his night, his party, his celebration, which for him meant he had the right to say or do whatever he wanted.
    “Celia,” he said, reaching for me, “is a dear friend of mine. So even though your television drama likes to think there is, there’s no story here. No relationship. We’re friends, and she was just leaving.”
    Hunter set his camera back down to his side and apologized before walking away. I smiled thankfully at Logan and he winked back. Before anyone else tried